


Muse

by XxImmortal_WhisperXx



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Death, Drama, Drug Use, F/M, Family Drama, Murder, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-11 01:51:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5609380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxImmortal_WhisperXx/pseuds/XxImmortal_WhisperXx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaara, a former drug addict with exceptional artistic talent is the son of a wealthy businessman. His entire world is turned upside down when he meets Rin, a ballerina that ignites a fire in him and resurrects old demons. Slowly, Gaara begins to question everything he thought he knew about himself.Will he be able to overcome his past and allow himself to love and be loved? GaaraxOC</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home, Sweet Home

** Chapter 1: Home, Sweet Home **

**Gaara**

A cool breeze dances against the curtains and into the spacious room, kissing Gaara's bare chest. A bit of sunshine tries, in vain, to peek into the room from behind the darkened curtains. Sitting on the floor, his eyes dart about, surveying the area. Everything in the room is black-from the curtains to the sheets to the walls. Colourful canvases and charcoal sketches done in brilliant hues on sheets of paper cut through the darkness of his room. Scattered around him on the floor are paintbrushes; new and old, and tubes of paint; empty and full. There is something serene amid all the chaos in the dark room. Slowly, the young man stands from the cluttered floor. Flinching, he slowly steps out of his pants and boxer briefs; walking to the bathroom. Gaara catches his reflection in the mirror as he walks into the bathroom. Unruly, fiery curls frame his flawless, pale skin. His sea foam green eyes look neither dead nor alive and are surrounded by thick lids, dark with insomnia, drawing attention to his face before said attention is stolen by a blood red, "Ai," or, "Love," tattoo on his temple. Instead of making him look ghoulish, all the features combine in a manner that makes him devilishly handsome.

Sighing, he steps into the shower. Hot water hits his sore muscles, easing them. Gaara hesitates before slowly biting on his thumb, drawing blood.

"I'm alive…" he mumbles, his voice shaking.

The warm water cascades through his curls.

…

"Where the hell is that little brat?"

Gaara hears his father's annoying voice inquire as to his whereabouts as he quietly shuffles into the enormous kitchen. An empty seat besides his father awaits him at the large mahogany dining table. A plate of eggs benedict with hollandaise sauce on a lightly toasted English muffin along with a side of fresh pomegranate juice is set before him. Eyes fixed on the plate, Gaara takes his seat. A horrible silence overtakes the dining hall.

"You're going looking like that?"

Gaara stares down at his white fitted shirt, skinny jeans, and black flip flops, not saying anything.

"Look at me when I'm speaking to you damnit!" Large, angry fists slam down on the table, knocking over the crystal glass full of juice.

The older man abruptly stands up, pulling his son up by the front of his shirt.

"You have 3 seconds to answer or so help me God," he hisses through clenched teeth.

"Daddy please stop!"

The man pauses. Abruptly, he lets go of his son, pushing him backwards.

Gaara's cold green eyes lock with the dark angry eyes of his father. With the exception of his fiery red curls, and alabaster skin, Gaara was the spitting image of his dark haired, tanned father.

"I'll give you one more chance," he starts.

A smirk slowly spreads across Gaara's face.

"Damn you boy!"

"Dad!"

"What?!" he screams angrily, turning around.

"Please leave him alone."

The man lets out a sigh. A weak smile appears on his face. "I'm sorry if I upset you princess," he says, pulling his daughter into his arms. He places his face atop her blonde hair, letting out a long sigh. He pulls back to examine her. Temari's teal eyes are filled with tears; her pale skin is flushed.

"Dad, give him a break, he's just a kid," 21 year old Temari says lightly.

Their father sighs and turns to his son, a sheepish look on his face.

"Gaara-" the older man starts.

Gaara stares at his father, a bored look on his face. He turns and walks back to his room.

…

Sighing, Gaara puts the last oil painting in the cardboard box before wrapping it with bubble wrap. His door opens.

"Hey bro, you ready?" asks his older brother Kankuro, walking in with Temari.

Gaara quietly stares at his siblings. Twenty year old Kankuro is a big man-6' like Gaara but with broader shoulders and rippling muscles. His skin is slightly tanned with dark brown eyes like his fathers, and dark brown hair that is neatly styled with gel. He has on a charcoal grey 3 piece suit with a white, perfectly starched dress shirt, a golden tie, and chocolate brown oxfords.

Temari, stands at about 5'6. Her shoulder-length blonde hair is pinned up in a neat bun. Around her slender neck is a string of pearls. Her pale skin has a dusty rose flush about it; her teal eyes are shining. She has on a cream coloured gathered crepe sheathe dress with three-quarter sleeves that hugs her large bosom and slim figure, and a pair of nude pumps.

"I see you decided to change," he says, referring to Gaara's white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, black dress pants, and black oxfords.

"Yeah," he finally says.

"Gaara," Temari starts, "are you sure you can't stay?"

"Positive," he says quickly. "I told father I would be out after the meeting was over."

He makes eye contact with his sister. Her eyes are filled with tears. Gaara frowns.

"You know I can always still visit you right?" he says quietly.

Temari smiles at him, the tears falling despite her best efforts to prevent them from doing so.

…

Their father looks up from his watch. "Took you long enough," he mutters, "let's go."

Temari, Kankuro, Gaara, and their father walk out of their enormous house into the cool, November air. The driver starts up the Bentley Continental Flying Spur, opening the door for them. The four of them quietly get in, not saying anything. The car drives down the marble driveway, and passed the lawn fountain in the centre of the estate surrounded by clipped hedges; a maze and gazebo nearby. Gaara stares out the windows as the car pulls out of the large, wrought-iron gates. Sakura trees, not yet in bloom, sit on either end of the roads, seemly ready to grasp their car in a warm embrace. Gaara hears his father and Kankuro talking about taking the company public as his eyes slowly close. His eyes abruptly jerk open when he feels someone lightly tap his knee.

"We're here," Temari says gently.

They step out of the car into the sunlight.

Cars race about on the streets, eager to get to their destinations. Men and women in suits mill about speaking into Bluetooth devices, I-phones, and Blackberries.

"We're in the business district," Temari says near his ear.

Gaara nods his head, taking it all in. Temari grasps the sleeve of his shirt, delicately pulling him along with her. Kankuro and their father walk ahead, heading towards the steps of a tall, glass building. The doors open, pouring out a flood of men in dark suits and briefcases. Temari and Gaara walk in after their father and brother, stopping in the lobby.

"Mori & Satō, est. 1850" is engraved in a solid gold plate on the wall.

A tall, skinny woman with a clipboard in her hands and a Bluetooth in her ear walks towards them. Her dark hair is pulled back in a chignon, a few loose strands kissing the nape of her neck. Her pale skin looks paler against her form fitting navy blue pinstripe skirt suit, and matching stiletto pumps.

"You must be Rasa Sabaku," she says smiling, small lines appearing at the corners of her hazel eyes.

"Yes," he says simply.

She extends her hand. Mr. Sabaku takes it.

"I'm Miyuki Mori. My husband is running a bit late but he instructed me to lead you to the conference room and have you wait there until he arrives…if you could please follow me..." she says, leading them down the marble hallway.

Certificates and awards sit on the walls, protected by glass cases. Marble columns with flowers in silver pots sitting atop them line the sides of the halls; expensive Renaissance, Baroque, and Rococo oil paintings hanging just above them. Gaara's eyes dart from painting to painting, absorbing the paintings. Women, some saints, other naked, are the main subjects of the paintings. A few pastoral and love scenes are depicted.

They stop at a large oak door. On in is a painting of a smiling woman with mahogany skin, laughing milk-chocolate brown eyes, full lips, enormous dimples, and a head of full, black, afro hair sitting on her bare shoulders. Mrs. Mori opens the door.

"If you could please have a seat in here," she says.

In the centre is a large, ebony conference table. Seated at the table are 3 men in dark suits on laptops; lawyers.

Mrs. Mori walks out of the room, muttering to herself.

Exhausted, Gaara closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep as the minutes tick by.

The door opens, causing everyone to look up expectantly. Standing in the doorway, cheeks aflame, is Mrs. Mori. The lawyers go back to their laptops. She walks over to Mr. Sabaku.

"I-I'm so sorry but something arose so my husband won't be here until noon, "she says, clearly embarrassed. "Is there anything in can get you?"

Rasa shakes his head. She turns to Kankuro, Temari, and Gaara. "Do you need anything?" she asks smiling despite her flushed cheeks. They all shake their heads no.

"Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask me," she says, gesturing towards in intercom on the table. "Oh, and we have water back there," she says, pointing at a bar that they hadn't noticed at the other end of the room.

"Thank you," Mr. Sabaku replies.

"Please accept my sincerest apologies," she says with a bow, before walking out of the room.

"It's just like Noru to be late on an important day," mutters a clean-shaven lawyer with salt-and-pepper hair and brown eyes, clearly agitated.

"Oh, stop complaining Hideki… you're still going to get paid," retorts a black-haired man with dark eyes and heavy eyebrows.

"Eizō is right, Hideki, and knowing Noru, he'll probably pay us extra for the time we spent waiting for him," chimes a chipper young blond with smiling hazel eyes and wisps of facial hair.

The voices begin to fade into the background as Gaara closes his eyes again, his hands crossed around his chest.

It was going to be a long day…


	2. Merger

** Chapter 2: Merger **

**Rin**

Cold grey eyes pierce through the mirror. Long, thick, curly lashes frame large doe-like eyes. Just above a small, button nose and resting on full cheeks is a spray of dark brown freckles. Her lips are large and full with a well-defined Cupid's bow. Her round, cherubic face, along with the rest of her body, is the colour of coffee with the slightest hint of cream. An eruption of small, jet-black, tight, pen spring curls sit on her shoulders. She's tiny-about 5 ft. - but not skinny. Her slim neck leads down to a full bosom, and a slim waist leads into her full hips. Her figure is complemented by a long sleeved black lace jacquard dress. She hears footsteps behind her.

Her silver eyes catch those of her sister. They are like the ocean on a clear, sunny day, framed by long, straight, eyelashes. Long, wavy, golden with streaks of strawberry blonde hair falls down her back, framing her beautiful face. He skin is the colour of almond milk with a hint of rose on her cheeks. Just above her straight nose and on her cheeks, is a spray of peach-coloured freckles. Full, pink lips and perfectly arched auburn eyebrows complete her face. The bodice of her robin's egg blue sleeveless A-line dress strains against her enormous breasts, complemented with a tiny waist. Long, smooth legs are visible from underneath the dress.

A smile spreads across the blonde's lips as she examines her little sister.

"Your mom would be so proud," she whispers softly, wrapping her arms around Rin's small shoulders.

She instantly feels the girl tense up.

"Thank you Mai," Rin whispers softly, taking a step back from her sister's embrace.

An awkward silence fills the room. After what seems like an eternity, Mai finally clears her throat.

"Daddy said it's time to go," she chirps, despite the sad look in her eyes.

"Who's going to look after the boys while we're gone?" Rin asks.

Mai hesitates, "Their nanny is watching them."

Rin makes a face. "You know I don't like Ryuu being with a nanny."

"I know, but we can't take them with us. You know how restless the twins get."

Rin sighs, "Alright."

…

"Girls, what is taking so long?!" comes a voice from the room adjacent to the foyer as the two women finally walk down the stairs into the main foyer.

The sound of footsteps approached them. In walks a stunning man. He stands at about 6'3, wiry, but slightly muscular. His jet black hair falls to the nape of his neck in loose waves. Beneath the icy, blue glare of his hooded lids is a dreamy, faraway, almost dazed look. His perfectly pale skin is only disturbed by a spray of peach-coloured freckles just above his nose and on his cheeks. He's wearing a black suite with a white dress shirt, black tie, and black dress shoes.

Behind him is a tall, thin, handsome man with pale skin, electric blue eyes, and a head full of big, glossy, black curls. He has on a black suit, black dress shirt, black shoes, and a tie that matches his eye colour.

Mai frowns, "Daddy, we had to get ready!"

"Ladies," says the black haired man in a smooth, silky voice. He approaches the girls and stops in front of Rin. He bows lightly and looks up at her expectantly.

"Rin," he says almost inaudibly. Their eyes lock and he slowly takes her hand in his. His lips lightly dance over it. They linger for a second before he lowers their hands, but does not let go.

A shy smile spreads across Rin's lips.

The older man clears his throat. "Yoruichi, I _am_ standing here you know."

Mai lets out a giggle.

"I think we should leave now," Yoruichi says quickly, his cheeks aflame.

"I don't see what the rush is…You seemed pretty preoccupied just a second ago. Plus, that greedy bastard Sabaku can wait a bit longer…I don't understand why he can't be happy having the second largest company in the world."

Cheeks still aflame, Yoruichi grins, "Why be number two when you can be number one? Besides, this merger would be a bigger victory for our families more than anything."

"Dad, don't you think it would look bad on your part if you're late to a meeting?" Mai suddenly asks.

Sighing, their father relents. "Alright, let's go then."

Mai and her father walk ahead. Two men in suits open the large doors as the four head out into the cool day.

Rin hears her sister blabber on to her father about some fashion show as they walk down the marble stirs leading to the courtyard. Her hand is still in Yoruichi's. She feels him hold on to it a bit tighter. Quietly, she gazes up at him briefly before looking back down. The pair finally arrive at the foot of the steps. Yoruichi leads Rin into the back of the Rolls Royce Phantom before sliding in behind her. The leather is cool against her neck. The car starts up and drives passed the enormous solid gold and black and white marble Baroque fountain towards the front of the estate.

The sound of Handel fills the car as Mai chatters away.

Yoruichi lightly rests his hand on her knee.

At last, they make eye contact.

"I've missed you," he mouths.

Rin says nothing. Instead, she wraps both of her hands around his before closing her eyes.

….

**Gaara**

The sound of footsteps outside the room captures all their attentions. The lawyers and Mr. Sabaku look up expectantly.

The door opens wide. Mrs. Mori walks in, a big smile on her face. Several people walk in behind her.

"Sorry I'm late," booms a jovial voice.

Gaara's eyes open. His father stands up, walking towards Mr. Mori, hand outstretched.

"It's nice to see you again, Sabaku," Mr. Mori says, smiling warmly, shaking the man's hand.

Gaara's father smiles back stiffly, "Same to you, Noru."

Noru beams, "this," he says, patting the man besides him on the back, "is Yoruichi. He's the son of my late business partner, Daisuke Satō. He's only 21, but he's so brilliant, I've made him a partner in his father's stead." Noru gestures behind Yoruichi. Mai and Rin walk to stand beside their father. "These are my _beautiful_ daughters, Mai and Rin," he says proudly.

Mr. Sabaku looks from Rin to Mai, an eyebrow raised, but says nothing.

"Well, let's get this show on the road," Noru says, clapping his hands together. Gaara's father heads back to his seat. Noru gently grasps the small of his wife's back, leading her to a seat besides his large, throne-like, black leather chair.

Mai looks around the table. Her eyes briefly land on Haru, the young blond lawyer, before they make eye contact with Temari's bright, teal eyes. Recognition flashes across Temari's face. Smiling, Mai walks over to Temari, taking a seat beside her.

Yoruichi sits down besides Mr. Mori. Rin scans the room, her eyes landing on a shock of red hair. She walks towards Gaara.

Gaara looks up as she sits down, briefly making eye contact with a pair of grey eyes before he closes them again.

"Hideki," starts Noru, turning to the clean-shaven lawyer with salt-and-pepper hair and brown eyes "why don't you give us a brief summary of Mr. Sabaku's assets. Then Eizō," he motions to the black-haired man with dark eyes and heavy eyebrows, " can go over my assets and then our green lawyer, Haru, can go over the terms of the agreement," he says with a small smile, looking at the young blond with smiling hazel eyes and wisps of facial hair.

Hideki clears his throat, "as of the last fiscal year, Mr. Sabaku's company now accounts for $170 billion in revenues, $50 billion in profits, $250 billion in assets, and $50.6 billion in market value. All metrics are up from last year with profits rising 72%."

There is a pause before Eizō finally begins to speak, "as of last fiscal year, Mori & Satō now accounts for $800 billion in revenues, $644 billion in profits, $900.2 billion in assets, and $700.6 billion in market value. All metrics are up from last year with profits rising 95%."

Smiling, Haru clears his throat, lifting a thick stack of papers with a flourish. "I've drawn up the terms of the contract which are as follows: upon joining Mori & Satō, Mr. Sabaku's company will go public and he will be given a one-third stake in the company, whose name will be changed to M.S.S, for convenience, of course," he says with a smile, "in the case of the death of any of the 3 co-owners of the company, their shares of the company shall either go to their family, or their position in the company shall be inherited by one of their offspring, or in the case of Mr. Satō who does not have any offspring, to their spouse…granted that they get married. If no family members are available to inherit their fortune or holding in the company, then the other remaining owners can split whatever shares owned."

He slides the thick document over to Mr. Sabaku. "the documents go into further detail than I did so please feel free to read it some more, keeping in mind that all items and loopholes listed in the documents are legally binding once signed."

The room is eerily quiet as Mr. Sabaku skims the pages. Finally, he sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "Alright," he mutters.

Beaming, Haru places his briefcase on the table. Opening it, he pulls out a Coromandel ebony box with brass edging, central inlaid engraved initials, and golden side handles. The inside is lined with burgundy velvet; a Montegrappa Eternal Bird Yellow Gold & White diamonds Ink Bottle and a Montegrappa Eternal Bird Diamonds and Gold Fountain Pen on the velvet.

Removing the pen and inkbottle, he passes them over to Mr. Mori. Mr. Sabaku passes the contract over to Mr. Mori who removes the top of the ink bottle, dipping the pen in. He signs his name in an elegant cursive, finishing off with a flourish before handing the pen and contract to Yoruichi. After signing, he passes the items to Mr. Sabaku, who signs it with his beautiful, although not as elegant, handwriting. Hideki promptly takes the documents, stamping them in black before passing it around to Eizō and Haru, who both stamp the documents in red and blue ink respectively.

The three lawyers rise, shaking first Mr. Mori's hands, then Yoruichi's and finally, Mr. Sabaku's. Smiling, Mr. Mori stands, prompting the other two men to do likewise. He turns to his right, shaking Yoruichi's hands before walking to Mr. Sabaku on the other side of the table.

"Welcome to the company," he says, clearly elated.

Yoruichi joins him, taking Mr. Sabaku's hand, "yes, welcome."


	3. Reverie

** Chapter 3: Reverie **

**Rin**

"No, no, no!"

The shrill voice echoes through the busy hall.

Three sharp claps ring.

All voices and footsteps instantly stop.

"Listen to me and listen well: This family will not be disgraced because of your carelessness. We have the biggest names in the world coming over to celebrate the success of the merger. I will not stand for anything less than perfection. Am I understood?!"

"Yes Mrs. Mori!" Ring out all the voices in unison.

"Excellent! Now, get back to work!"

Sighing, Miyuki slumps into a seat. She feels arms wrap around her shoulders from behind. She leans into them and looks up, a smile on her lips.

"Hello my love," Noru says, bending down to kiss her lips.

A giggle comes from behind them.

"Mommy and daddy are kissing!" Squeals Mai. Holding each of her hands is a small tow-headed boy. They burst into laughter.

"My boys!" Miyuki says happily, standing up.

"Mommy!" The twins yell, running into her arms.

"Minori, Minoru!" she giggles, drawing them into a warm embrace.

She gazes lovingly at her wavy haired sons. Their chubby cheeks are flushed; their light brown eyes are shining with joy as they beam up at their mother; huge dimples appearing in their cheeks.

"Where is your brother?" She asks the smiling twins.

"Up!" chimes one of the twins.

"With big sis!" Adds the other.

"Here we are," comes a cool voice from the entrance to the hall.

"Ah Rin, it's good to see you," Miyuki says as the girl approaches her.

Rin stares back at her coolly.

Miyuki shuffles nervously for a second before springing back.

"Ryuu!" she adds gleefully as she bends down to look at the young boy holding Rin's hand.

She goes to hug the boy but he tenses up.

"Good afternoon ma'am," he says just as coolly as his older sister.

Despite his creamy vanilla complexion, blond curls, rosy cheeks and bright blue eyes, the resemblance to Rin was hard to miss.

Miyuki laughs nervously before clearing her throat.

"Right! It's good to have the entire family here for this event! Time to get ready!" she says a bit too excitedly before hurrying out of the hall just as the tears begin to roll down her face.

Rin raises and eyebrow but says nothing. She feels her sister's gaze on her but does not look at her.

**…**

**Gaara**

"Try not to embarrass me," Rasa mutters as he and his children step out of their car.

Kankuro lets out a whistle. "Check this place out," he says quietly, admiring the illuminated gilded walkway leading up to large doors.

The doors fly open and a jovial Noru greets them at the doorway. The sound of an orchestra drifts into the evening.

"Welcome!" he booms, large dimples on either side of his cheeks. "You're just in time for my big speech."

They are lead into a large hallway. Men and women in fine cloths and jewels are gathered all around the hall, drinks in hand.

"Come with me," Noru whispers before leading Rasa to the front of the hall.

"Ladies and gentlemen…." His voice trails off as Gaara walks further into the hall.

He continues to walk until the sound of voices and the orchestra is barely a buzz in his ears. He walks a bit longer until he comes to an open door. Peeking in, he notices no one and slowly walks in. He instantly collapses onto the carpeted floor, out of breath.

He buries his face into the soft carpeting as his mind begins to drift.

_Maybe he could sleep for a bit?_

No.

He bolts up quickly and pulls out his phone.

6 missed calls…shit.

Sitting up, he dials the number back.

"Hello?" he says in his hoarse voice.

"Yo Gaara what's up? I've been calling you for over an hour now."

"Sorry….I'll be out in a few minutes…Did you get the things?"

"Believe it!"

He hangs up and slowly gets to his feet. Time to leave.

**…**

**Rin**

Rin was just about to walk into the room when she notices a figure moving inside. She pauses and watches as a man quickly bolts up from the carpeting. A shock of red hair catches her eyes.

It was the same guy from the meeting earlier in the day. The son of Rasa Sabaku. What did her father say his name was again?

Rin hears him mumble into his phone before slowly standing and heading towards the door. Panicking she turns around and quickly runs down the hall.

**…**

**Gaara**

"What took you so long?!"

Gaara slides into the passenger seat of the orange Ford F 150 4x4 SVT.

"Sorry," he says quietly, his eyes closed.

"Don't sweat it man….Hey Gaara!" Naruto says with a large grin. "I already loaded up all of your stuff in my truck and I took your car over to my place a while back…so you ready to go?"

Gaara doesn't say anything.

"Are you okay?" Naruto asks, clearly worried.

"Yes," Gaara says simply, opening his eyes slightly.

"Okay, I'm going to warn you in advance…don't be disappointed when we get to my apartment downtown…it's an okay place…. Most of the people that live there are bachelors and a few stoners…there's this one chick though…." Gaara zones out as Naruto's voice blends with the lull of the engine. He gazes at the boy through the corners of his eyes.

Sunshine blond waves and cornflower blue eyes are the only things that have stayed the same on his best friend's body. Naruto looks completely different. Long gone is the incredibly pasty-skinned, short, slightly flabby 12-year old he met when his family first moved from Osaka to Tokyo 6 years ago. The orphan who was once the butt of everyone's jokes was no more. In his stead is a tall, toned, slightly bronzed young man. They were both the same height now.

When the two first met in middle school, Naruto was the silly prankster that never did his work, skipped class, failed tests, and bragged that when he grew up, he'd, "own a whore house," where he'd, "teach the prostitutes how to read." That, or he'd, "be a porn star." At first, the buoyant blond and the anti-social red head did not get along. Naruto disliked Gaara because of his privileged upbringing, while Gaara hated Naruto for being so damn happy, and, well, alive.

A cool breeze kisses Gaara's face as the car drives on.

The two boys ended up almost being expelled from boarding school for fighting. What started out as a few harsh words quickly escalated when Naruto's fists flew. Gaara had never been hit by anyone besides his father, so naturally, when Naruto punched him, he was incredibly surprised. His surprise quickly turned into a burning rage that completely blinded him to the point that he'd stabbed Naruto in the chest, narrowly missing his heart, but puncturing a lung and putting the boy in the hospital.

By some miracle or another, the two were given the opportunity of a second chance by the administration on the condition that they became friends. After about 5 days of silence on both their parts, the boys began talking and quickly discovered that they had a lot in common. Their main bonding point was the fact that they were both marginalized and ostracized by society, and that neither one of them had a mother, although Naruto was living with his godfather Jiraiya; his father having been killed along with his mother when he was a baby.

Naruto taught Gaara how to be alive. He encouraged him to keep at his art. He introduced Gaara to a group of juniors on the high school campus who called themselves the Akatsuki. The group was run by two red headed boys, Yahiko and Nagato, as well as Yahiko's blue-haired, origami-loving girlfriend, Konan.

Along with the rest of the gang, Yahiko, Nagato, and Konan were the disenfranchised children of business men and their wives, dead business men with mob connections, or in the case of Hidan, a tall, muscular, foul-mouthed worshipper of Jashin, and Sasori, a red headed Osaka native, drug dealer, and artist; businessmen and common whores, abandoned by their mothers at birth.

Gaara immediately took to weed, liking the distraction it provided from his everyday troubles. After a while, he felt like it was time to try other things. Enter, Sasori and his heroin. The first time Gaara tried heroin, he ended up vomiting and was sick for days. Somehow, Sasori managed to talk him into trying it again, and this time, Gaara's body loved it. It was nothing like weed. He loved the rush he felt. For the first time in a long time, Gaara felt alive. There were times where he'd inject himself to the point that he'd be unable to attend class for days at a time, staying locked up in his dorm room. Somehow, he managed to stay on top of his academics completing his work once he was in total control of himself. He continued to live like that until the fateful day during his sophomore year.

Gaara had never planned on overdosing. The heroin wasn't having the same effects it normally did, so in an attempt to block out the insistent nagging of the voice in his head, he'd used a large quantity of heroin in one afternoon. When he came out of his coma three weeks later, he was in the hospital, Naruto at his bedside.

Once clean, he'd caught up with his school work, the newfound success of his artwork being the driving force. Naruto also straightened out. Towards the end of sophomore year, he began dating the heiress to the Hyuga family business, Hinata. Although he still occasionally smoked, his grades had gone from D's and F's to A's and B's. While Gaara had decided early on not to attend university, Naruto's main goal became to go. For a while, things were picture-perfect for Gaara: his father no longer beat him, the voices were gone, he had a budding art career, and he'd been clean for almost two years.

Then, everything came crashing back down. No one wanted to look at his paintings, which were growing darker the older he got. The voices started back up again, keeping him up all night, and his father started beating him up again. Sometimes, he'd beat him so badly, that Gaara would be unable to move for days. In an act of desperation, he'd gone back to the false sense of security and comfort that heroin's deadly embrace provided.

"Gaara, we're here," Naruto calls from the back of the truck, snapping him out of his daydream.

Yes, he had gone back and did not plan on ever leaving it again.


	4. Roommates

** Chapter 4: Roommates **

**Rin**

She'd done it again. Despite her best efforts to be kind, Rin had managed to make the woman uncomfortable. She watches Miyuki from across the hall as she happily says goodnight to the last of their guests. Despite the smile on her lips, Rin sees no sign of happiness in her eyes. In fact, her once glittering eyes look sad and tired. Rin notices the bits of grey creeping from her roots.

"Rinny."

Rin turns around. A slow smile creeps across her face. She turns around and pulls her brother into a tight embrace.

"Ryuu," she whispers

 _Ryuu_ ….The last words her mother had murmured as she took her last breath.

…

Rin pauses at the doorway. Naruto's usually loud voice pours out from underneath the door, but Rin thinks she hears another voice along with his.

"Hmm."

She slowly opens the door and steps into the apartment.

"Naruto?" She calls out, bending down to remove her shoes.

She stands up and is quickly swept up into a warm embrace.

"Rin! Where have you been? You kept our guest waiting,"

"G-Guest…." She trails, confused.

Naruto puts her down and gently grabs her delicate hand. He leads her into the spacious living area. A shock of red curls catch her eyes again. Seated at the Havana sofa is the Sabaku boy from the merger meeting.

"Yeah, I told you Gaara would be moving in with us."

"Gaara?" She says aloud without thinking.

_He's so pale._

"Is there something on my face?"

Rin feels her cheeks grow hot. She had been staring. Her eyes lock with his. She smiles sheepishly.

"No, I…"

"I don't like to be stared at."

Her eyes widen. She feels her cheeks grow hotter.

"I didn't mean..." her voice begins to shake.

"Like I was saying," Naruto cuts in, "Gaara and I go way back. If you let him move in, then we can split the rent 3 ways. "

Rin exhales. "Right," she walks towards him on the sofa.

"Mori. I'm Rin Mori. It's very nice to-"

"I know who you are," Gaara cuts in.

She laughs nervously. "Of course, how silly of me."

"Very."

Gaara stands up from the sofa, towering over her.

"Save your pleasantries princess, I'm not impressed by your kind."

"My kind?!" She hears herself yell.

"Yeah, spoiled rich kids."

"So what does that make you?! You're one of my kind!"

"No, not at all. I work for what I have. You live off your daddy and his wealth. "

"Take that back," she says quietly.

Gaara stares at her coolly.

"You don't know anything!" Her entire body begins to shake as heat rushes through her.

CLAP!

The sound of her fist landing against his open palm fills the entire room.

"You can't be…ugh," Gaara's eyes widen as her knee makes contact with his stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

He grasps the bottom of her face roughly. The look in his eyes terrifies her.

"Don't you ever touch me again," he hisses angrily before roughly pushing her face away.

Rin stumbles backwards. She feels Naruto wrap his arms around her waist from behind, restraining her.

"Chill you guys…Please."

Rin sighs angrily. "Fine," she shoots Gaara a dirty look, "Just stay the hell away from me if you know what's good for you." She pushes Naruto off her and storms out of the living room.

…

**Gaara**

His entire body is shaking as he sits down on the sofa.

Who the hell was this girl? Where did she get off thinking she could hit him?!

"Earth to Gaara!"

"Yeah?"

"Please be nice to her…You mean a lot to me but so does she."

"…Right of course..." Gaara pauses and stares at his longtime friend. "Sorry Naruto."

"No problem man! She's really cool once you get to know her. We go for brunch every Saturday, "Naruto chuckles, "Today just so happens to be Saturday! You'll be joining us right?"

Gaara hesitates. "I…"

"Dude, it's nothing fancy…like I said, she's pretty chill. Besides, I'm poor so no way could we go to some posh place," he laughs, sitting on the sofa and wrapping his arms around Gaara's shoulders.

Gaara smiles despite himself. "Alright, you got me…But I have to get ready first," he says, lightly pushing the blond off him.

"Sure thing. You remember where your room is right?"

 _Not really_. "Yes," Gaara says simply.

…

**Rin**

_They sound happy_. Rin feels a strange sensation as she leans against the wall. She had never heard Naruto sound so happy before. Yeah, he joked around with her but there was something else in his voice as he spoke to his old friend. Something she had never experienced. Sighing she slowly sinks to the floor. Something she probably would never experience. Pulling her knees to her chest, she wraps her arms around them and buries her face in between them. Something she would definitely never get to experience.

A stray curl that had managed to escape from her bun kisses her neck. Rin met Naruto a little over a year ago. Fresh out of high school, she was new to the area and he was looking for a place to stay. She was the newest addition to the Tokyo ballet, he was a freshman student at Lakeland College Japan during the day and at night, homeless.

It was on a train that they first met. She had overheard him asking people on the train if they knew a place available for rent. She hadn't said anything at first. They got off at the same stop and Rin watched him continue to ask people on the platform. His voice grew more and more desperate and the people got more and more impatient until one man, out of anger of being asked twice, punched Naruto. She watched in horror as people just walked passed him, sprawled out on the platform floor.

She then realized she was also one of the people just watching. Rin helped him up and walked him to her car, a few blocks away from the train station. Naruto ended up passing out in her car and did not come to until a few hours later in her apartment. When he finally woke, she said nothing. Instead she just made him dinner, which he quickly devoured. She would later find out that he hadn't eaten in days. Rin said nothing to him as she quietly showed him to one of the guest rooms before going to her own room and crying herself to sleep.

 _Naruto…My name is Naruto._ That was all he had said to her the following morning before he had tried to leave. She remembered herself impulsively reach out and grab his hand. _You can stay…It's just me here. There's plenty of space._ No sooner had those words left her mouth than had she been drawn up into a tight embrace. _Thank you._ He had whispered, his cheek wet against her neck.


	5. Brunch

** Chapter 5: Brunch  **

**Gaara**

"All set?" Naruto asks as Gaara walks back into the living room.

Gaara has on a pair of navy skinny jeans, long sleeve blue shirt, dark brown oxfords, and a charcoal knit blazer. A few curls peek out from the front and back of his black beanie.

"Yeah," Gaara says slowly.

"RIN! Come on already, we are going to be late!" Naruto yells.

"Sorry I'm late," comes her voice from behind Gaara.

He turns around and feels himself freeze. A strange sensation washes over him. Gaara feels his entire body growing warm.

"Are you okay?" Rin asks, a confused look on her face.

Gaara nods.

"Hey I know we didn't get off on the right foot but hopefully we can become fast friends," she starts, extending her arm.

Gaara stares at her hand but does not take it. After what seems like an eternity, Naruto clears his throat.

"Riiighht….So, Rin, where are we going this time?"

Rin shuffles nervously and tucks a curl behind her ear.

"Yoru and the guys want us to come over."

"Sweet! Free food…Let's go!"

…

"All set back there?" Naruto asks as Gaara slides into the back seat of Naruto's truck.

"Yeah," Rin says.

Gaara looks at her from the corners of his eyes. Her curls where loose about her head, kissing her brown complexion. He feels the strange feeling wash over him once again.

"Are you alright?" Rin asks, startling him.

His eyes lock with hers. "I'm fine."

There is a long pause.

"Sooo, um…Gaara…What do you do? Are you in school or….?"

"Art…I do art."

Rin claps her hands together delightedly. "Oooh…You'll have to show me sometime!"

Gaara feels his body growing warm. "Of course," he murmurs.

"Yo," comes Naruto's voice from the front, "I gotta stop and get Hinata before we go….That's cool right?"

"Duh idiot! The more the merrier!" Rin says cheerfully.

Naruto plugs his phone into the AUX cord, filling the car with loud music.

Gaara clears his throat.

"Umm…What about you?" He asks, his voice barely audible over the music.

"What?!" Rin says loudly, moving closer to him.

Gaara feels the cool window against his neck as he quickly moves away from her.

Rin makes eye contact with him, a big smile lighting up her face. Large dimples appear in both of her cheeks. Gaara feels his cheeks turn red. He quickly turns away and looks out the window.

She bursts into laughter. "I'm just messing with you…I heard you fine," she says, moving away. "I dance."

Gaara slowly turns his head, a puzzled look on his face.

"Ballet, not pole dancing, silly," she says, giggling.

"Of course," Gaara says quietly.

"Don't let her fool you, she can work a pole too!"

"Oh my goodness shut up Naruto!" She turns to Gaara and smiles sheepishly. "He's joking."

"No I'm not."

"Please stop you're embarrassing me! Gah, let me die now."

She buries her head in the back of the set in front of her.

Naruto bursts out laughing and Gaara smiles despite himself.

…

Gaara looks away as Naruto plants a small kiss on Hinata's lips as she slides into the passenger side seat.

"Save it for the bedroom guys, I'm starving," Rin says jokingly.

"Yeah princess I'm driving now."

Rin rolls her eyes.

"Hinata-chan, how have you been?"

Hinata looks back and smiles at Rin.

"I've been really good Rin…My father said to let you know that we all enjoyed the party your family threw and to congratulate him on the merger."

Rin scoffs, "I'll ask again…How are YOU Hinata? I don't care about old men and their business."

Hinata chuckles, "I'm really good…School is going well…"

"Gaara moved in with us by the way," Naruto cuts in.

Hinata turns to Gaara and smiles. "Nice to see you after so long Gaara-kun."

Gaara nods. "Likewise."

…

Gaara hears laughter as they walk into the small, cottage-like, glass building. Puppets and various paintings of traditional Japanese landscapes and tigers, along with clay pots and little clay figurines dominate the sides of the hallway.

"Look who it is," says a pale, skinny, man with short black hair and dark eyes.

The entire room falls silent. A blond man and a red headed man turn around, Gaara feels his blood freeze.

"Well, would you look at that Deidara….it's little Gaara," says the red head.

The blond smiles, "he's not little anymore Sasori…our friend has grown up."

A tall, pale, man who's carrying a tray of scones towards a door leading outside pauses. Gaara immediately recognizes him as the man from the merger meeting a few days ago-Satō.

"You guys know him?" Yoruichi asks.

Sasori nods, a smile on his lips. "Yes…Sabaku and I go back."

Yoruichi closes his eyes, "Sabaku…..hey, you're my new partner's kid!" Yoruichi beams. "Give me two seconds please."

Gaara stares blankly. His gaze is fixed on Yoruichi the entire time. Gaara watches as he opens a glass sliding door, walks outside, sets the tray of scones on the long table underneath a tree and walks back inside.

"Yeah so like I was…" His eyes widen. His cheeks grow red. Gaara notices his gaze shift from him to something behind him. "Rin," he says softly, a little smile on his lips.

Naruto coughs awkwardly. "I'm not sure about you guys but I am starving!"

…

Gaara picks at his scone, pulling out a blueberry. He plops it in his mouth and chews it slowly. He looks up and catches Rin staring at him.

"Anyone here not drinking?" Deidara asks cheerfully, walking into the garden area with several bottles of alcohol.

"Yeah, keep it away from our little dancer over here…We all know how she gets," Yoruichi says laughing and pulling Rin against him.

They all burst into laughter.

Her cheeks flame up.

Gaara feels a weird sensation in him.

"I'm not a kid. I can handle it," Rin says, obviously still embarrassed.

"What about you Sabaku?" Deidara asks as he stops in front of Gaara's glass.

 _What the hell._ "Sake is fine."

Gaara watches as Deidara fills up his glass with the cold, transparent fluid. He slowly lifts the glass to his lips, pausing to inhale the aroma. It smelled stronger than the sake he usually drank. Gaara takes a small sip, closing his eyes. His entire body grows warm. _It has been a long time._

He takes another sip. _A really long time._

"Gaara?" A voice draws him out of his mist.

He opens his eyes and sees Sasori staring at him. He hears Naruto and the other guys joking and laughing.

"Yes?"

"Let's go talk, shall we?"

Gaara stiffens and hesitates. Sasori notices this pause.

"You can trust me," he says coolly, smiling at Gaara.

Gaara instantly regrets the words as they leave his mouth.

"Sure thing."

Gaara and Sasori stand up and head towards the door leading into the building.

"What's up guys?" Yoruichi calls loudly from the table, causing Rin to look in their direction.

Gaara watches as her eyes lock with Sasori's. A look passes across her face.

"I'm just going to tell Gaara here about a position we have open here," he lies smoothly.

Rin leans over to whisper something in Yoruichi's ears.

"You know, it is incredibly rude to speak about someone while they are in your presence, Miss Mori. Fortunately for you, I have too much respect for your father and boyfriend over there to disrespect you by actually saying what's on my mind," Sasori says sharply.

Rin erupts into a fit of laughter. The entire area falls silent.

"Oh please spare me, you petty drug dealer," she says between fits of laughter.

"Rin stop, you're drunk," Naruto says.

She stops laughing. "I'm not drunk Naruto…Not at all. I just know a pig when I smell one."

"You really should watch what you say Rin," Sasori says, a smile still plastered to his face.

She runs her hands through her curls, fluffing them.

"Or what Sasori-chan?" A smile lights up her face, but Gaara notices that her eyes are cold.

Sasori clenches then unclenches his fists. He finally sighs, running his hands through his hair.

"Nothing Rin, absolutely nothing. If you'll please excuse us, I would like to see if Gaara is interested in a contest we're hosting."

"Yo, be quick, we're leaving in 10," Naruto calls out.

Rin frowns but says nothing more.

…

Gaara hears the laughter start back up as Sasori leads him into a small room, locking the door behind them. Sasori gestures at a nearby chair as he takes a seat behind an oak table. He leans back in the chair, eyes closed, hands behind his head.

"I knew you'd be back," he mutters.

"What?" Gaara says stiffly.

Sasori sits up straight, leaning across the table. "Don't play stupid," he sighs, "She's such a cunt."

Gaara stares at him, confused.

"That Mori bitch. I didn't know you were friends with her…"

"I'm not. We just met…I moved in with her and Naruto."

"Hmmm I see…So, how are you finding her?"

Gaara shrugs.

Sasori bursts into laughter, "Better keep it that way. She's a fiery one….Don't get me wrong, I would bang her if I could….But that's Sato's territory."

Gaara stares back at him blankly. "What do you want from me, Sasori?"

"What a way to greet an old friend Gaara…"

"We were never friends."

"Really? I considered us to be fr-"

"What do you want?"

Sasori laughs lightly.

"See you haven't changed one bit…We are hosting an exhibit in a month… You're going to need at least 20 pieces. Since it's our first exhibit in a while, a majority of the artists being featured will be mostly local talent, although some big name collectors, critics, and curators will be present. 30% of whatever profits you make on that night will go to this gallery. That being said, we like to reward our most successful artist with a small grant of $5000 on opening night as well as a $2000 stipend for supplies and the like if they manage to get a commission from a high-profile curator on opening night…I'll have Sai forward you all the details to the address you're at now…"

Gaara stares back at Sasori. His face is blank as always, but in his head, he is surprised. He needed an opportunity like this.

"What's the catch?"

Sasori laughs once more. "There is no catch Gaara, think of it as a gift from a friend…You're talented. I would hate to see that go to waste...And it's written all over your face."

Gaara narrows his eyes.

"You can't hide things like this from me Gaara. What it does to you, it also does to me."

Gaara closes his eyes.

Sasori reaches into his desk, pulling out a small velvet pouch. "On me," he says, sliding the pouch over to Gaara.

…

"So, how'd it go?" Naruto asks as Gaara gets in the truck.

Gaara hesitates, "….fine," he says, lying to Naruto's smiling face.


	6. Crush

** Chapter 6: Crush **

**Rin**

"Oh my goodness that was amazing!" Rin squeals, collapsing onto the Havana sofa.

Hinata chuckles lightly.

Rin sits up. "You guys wanna do something?"

"Um, sorry…Can't…Hinata and I have business to take care of," Naruto says, wrapping his arm tightly around his girlfriend's waist and drawing her closer.

Hinata's entire face flushes. "Naruto!"

Naruto bursts into laughter and picks up a struggling Hinata. "Catch you for dinner okay Rin?"

Rin smiles weakly. "Yeah, sure thing."

Naruto turns and walks down the hall, Hinata in his arms.

Sighing, Rin draws her legs up on the sofa. After a minute or two, she feels a pair of eyes on her and looks up.

"Oh," she says, surprised, "Gaara…I didn't notice you there…..Ummmm, do you want to sit?" She asks awkwardly.

Gaara hesitates before sitting on the opposite edge of the sofa.

Rin turns and smiles at him. "So, what kind of art did you say you did?"

"Anything," he says simply.

Rin hears herself laugh. Gaara's eyes narrow.

"I'm sorry…didn't mean to be rude…Just I've never had anyone say that to me before. So like, do you do, paintings, photography, sculptures, calligraphy…?"

"Yes….All of those."

"You any good or is it something you just do for fun."

"I enjoy art."

"But are you good at it?"

"You'll have to be the judge of that."

Rin bursts out laughing. "I like you."

"Thanks," Gaara mumbles, standing up.

"Ummm…you're leaving?"

He turns to her, a strange look on his face. "You wanted to see the art right?"

…

Rin waits silently outside his door. _How long does it take to change?_

The door opens.

"Sorry, had to clean up," Gaara mumbles, letting her into his room.

The subtle scent of pomegranates drifts into her nostrils. His bed, like all the other beds in the apartment, sits low on the floor. His sheets look fresh, as if it had never been touched. Arranged neatly throughout his room are boxes and boxes of what Rin assumes are paintings. Charcoal sketches and sheets of calligraphy decorate the walls. Atop the drawers are what appear to be miniature gourds made out of clay.

"Whoa! Did you make these?" She asks, picking up a gourd.

"Please don't-"

Crash!

"….Touch."

"I-I am so sorry…I can pay for it I swear," she says nervously.

"It's fine," he says coolly.

Rin nervously runs her hands through her hair. "I think I should leave…You can show me some other time….Now's not the best time."

She starts towards the door but feels him grab her hand. Rin freezes as a weird sensation washes over her. She turns to face him and their eyes meet. _His eyes are so beautiful._

Gaara's eyes widen. He abruptly drops her hand, his cheeks growing red.

He opens his mouth but before he can say anything Rin quickly bolts for the door. She opens the door and runs into something solid.

…

**Gaara**

_Why is she running? Did I scare her off?_ He walks to the door and quickly pulls it open. Gaara freezes in the doorway. A weird feeling washes over him as he watches Rin and Yoruichi hug. He draws near, going in for a kiss and Gaara instinctively clears his throat.

Startled, Rin jumps and pulls away from Yoruichi, clearly embarrassed.

An annoyed look briefly passes over Yoruichi's face before being replaced by a bright smile.

"I'll see you at the studio on Monday, right?"

Gaara nods slowly, his eyes still fixed on Yoruichi.

"Yo, Yoru…What you doing here man?" Comes Naruto's voice from down the hall.

Gaara's gaze still does not waver. For a split second he catches something like a smirk on Yoruichi's face.

"Why's everyone just standing around?" A shirtless Naruto asks, stopping besides Yoruichi.

"I just came to deliver some news," Yoruichi says, gently grasping's Rin's hand. "If you'll excuse us for just one moment."

Gaara watches as the pair walks off towards her room.

"Dude…what's been up with you all day?"

"What do you mean?"

Naruto sighs, "Let's go in your room."

…

"What's up?" Gaara says, plopping down on the bed besides Naruto.

"You've been acting strange all day Gaara."

"Strange how?"

"….Like…not yourself."

Gaara closes his eyes. "In what way, Naruto?"

"Dude…I don't know how to explain it…Just whenever Rin is around, you get this weird look on your face and I don't think you realise it but your cheeks get rosy."

Gaara bolts up. "What?"

"Yeah man…I think you may have a crush on her," Naruto says, giggling.

Gaara scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous. You know I'm not the type to have crushes. Besides, I barely know her."

"Exactly why it's a crush….I didn't say you were like madly in love with her or anything."

"You're imagining things."

"I hope so…Trust me, you do not want to mess with that one. She's Yoru's girl. They've been together like forever," he laughs, "They're practically married. So unless you want a whole load of trouble, I suggest staying away."

Gaara rolls his eyes. "Trouble…Pretty boy like him," he mumbles.

Naruto bursts into laughter. "Oh my goodness you do! And just so you know…you are also a pretty boy Gaara"

…

_Naruto was being silly. He didn't have crushes ever._ Gaara silently sits at the round table across from Rin. _I don't date. If I want sex, I can get it easily. Why waste time dating?_ His eyes are fixed on her as she stands up and walks to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of wine. _She's not even my type._

"Wine Gaara?" She asks, standing behind him.

He nods silently. The subtle aroma of vanilla drifts from her hair into his nostrils as she leans over him to pour some wine in his glass. _I don't even have a type._ Their eyes lock as she sits back down across from him. _She's attractive, I'll give her that much._

"Is something the matter?" Yoruichi's voice draws him back to reality.

Gaara clears his throat and look down at his plate. Caprese grilled filet mignon.

"Are you going to try it?" Rin asks eagerly.

Gaara hesitates.

"It's really good, Rin made it," Yoruichi says.

Gaara slices off a small bit and places it in his mouth. The filet is tender, melting with the crisp flavor of the roma tomato and the creamy mozzarella. The basil and balsamic vinegar add a bit of a kick that takes him by surprise. His eyes widen.

Rin giggles and claps delightedly.

Her smile lights up her entire face. Gaara feels his entire body growing warm.

_I don't have a type….Do I?_

…

"I'll catch you guys for dinner," Naruto calls out as he bolts out the door.

"Bye Naruto!" Rin calls out, running into the kitchen just as the blond leaves the apartment.

Gaara looks up from his glass of pomegranate juice.

"Can't believe it's Monday already," Rin says, stretching. She walks over to the table and takes the seat beside him.

Gaara glances at her through the corners of his eyes. Her curls are pulled back from her face in a tight ponytail. She has on a baggy shirt that is at least 3 sizes too large on her and a pair of shorts underneath.

She quickly turns in her seat, startling him. He spills some pomegranate juice on the countertop and on the front of his grey shirt.

"Oh….Sorry, I'll clean it," she says, quickly getting up from her seat and heading to the sink. She places a moist cloth on the spill on the counter. Without skipping a beat, she takes another moist cloth and begins to wipe his shirt.

Gaara gently grabs her wrist. They begin to shake. He looks up at her. She has a bright smile on her face but Gaara notices something else in her eyes. _Fear?_

"It's fine…I can clean it myself," Gaara says, staring into her cool grey eyes.

She smiles weakly. "Oh right…silly me."

"You're fine," he says, their gazes still locked.

He feels his heart begin to beat faster. His entire body grows warm.

Rin slowly pulls back. She quietly walks to the sink and rinses out the cloths.

"Do you want to head to the studio together?" she calls from the sink.

"Hmm?"

"I…I figured since you have to be there today and since I'll be there…we might as well go together."

"…Sure thing."

…

**Rin**

She lets out a deep breath. _Why am I so nervous?_ She'd danced in front of Yoruichi and the guys several times before and never felt as nervous as she did now. _Gaara._ Her heart skips a beat. _Get a grip girl. They don't even care about the dancing. They just needed me for art ideas._ Yoruichi had taken some really amazing shots of her last week.

_Yoruichi. My rock. My love. My everything. We've been through hell and back but you never once left my side. The man I'll marry someday._

"All set?" Sai calls out.

Rin smiles and gives him a thumbs up. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

She quietly begins to hum Monteverdi's _Lamento della ninfa_ to herself as she gets en pointe.

She feels herself let go as her mouth opens and the first words come out, "Amor,"

…

**Gaara**

Gaara feels chills on his skin. Her voice fills the entire room. He watches, transfixed, as she effortlessly glides across the floor, all the while singing. He had never experienced anything like it before. He looks at the other guys to see if they were experiencing what he was but only sees them taking pictures as if it was nothing. Even Yoruichi was too preoccupied with getting shots to actually watch her. _She's amazing._

…

**Rin**

Her cheeks feel flushed. _Feels like I'm flying…_ She briefly opens her eyes and makes eye contact with Gaara. What she sees in his eyes floors her. No one had ever looked at her like that. She feels a weird sensation in her. Her heart begins to race. Her legs turn to jello and she feels herself fall.

…

**Gaara**

"Rin!"

He hears a voice… _his voice…_ call out. Before he knows what's happening. Gaara is rushing to her side to help her up.

An awkward silence feels the room as Yoruichi walks close to them.

"You have two seconds to let her go Sabaku," he hisses.

"I'm helping her up," Gaara says simply.

He helps Rin to her feet. She smiles weakly at him and mumbles a shy thank you.

He turns and is face to face with Yoruichi. Both men stand at the same height and are built the same. Gaara's sea foam green eyes lock with Yoruichi's electric blue eyes.

"Don't ever touch her again," he spits.

Gaara stares back at him, a bored expression on his face.

"Or what?"

Gaara's eyes widen. Yoruichi's fist makes contact with his cheek. A metallic taste fills his mouth. _I'm bleeding._

"What the fuck Yoruichi!" Rin yells.

"You think I don't see the way you look at her? Let me explain something to you scum... She's out of your league. Girl like her doesn't want someone from an upstart family like yours. Stay the hell away if you know what's good for you."

Gaara hears the other guys burst into laughter.

Gaara smiles. Blood oozes out of his mouth. He opens his mouth and spits the blood on Yoruichi's face before landing a punch that knocks the dark haired man out.

The room falls silent. Not looking back at Rin, Gaara quietly walks out of the studio.

...

"Fuck!" He screams, throwing everything off his desk.

"Fuck!" He bangs his firsts on the table so hard, he draws blood.

_What was she doing to him?!_

Hands shaking, he opens the drawer on his desk. He pulls out the pouch that Sasori gave him a couple of days ago.

He reaches further into his desk and pulls out a tablespoon, a pack of syringes, a lighter, rubbing alcohol, a band aid, and some cotton balls.

Gaara walks to the bathroom and washes his hands and forearm. He splashes water on his face. He briefly catches his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

He walks back into his room, removing his shirt. Reaching the table, he quickly pours some alcohol on a cotton ball and wipes down his table.

Gaara slowly opens the pouch and pulls out a plastic bag containing white powder.

_This is really fine and smooth. Sasori always did have an excellent selection._

When the spoon is almost full, Gaara stops pouring and closes the plastic bag.

Opening another drawer, he pulls out an unopened bottle of water. Gaara opens it and sets it aside before opening a packaged syringe.

Drawing back the plunger, he places the needle into the water, filling the syringe halfway. He places the needle on the spoon, allowing the water to mix with the powder.

He picks up the spoon and lighter. Gaara lights it underneath the spoon, gently moving it from side to side to make sure the heat distributes evenly.

When the powder begins to bubble a bit, Gaara turns off the lighter and places the spoon on the table.

Taking a cotton ball, he tears off a small bit and drops it into the cooling liquid. He pours rubbing alcohol on the leftover piece and rubs it on the inside of his left elbow.

Picking up the syringe, he sticks the needle tip about halfway inside the piece of cotton on the spoon.

Gaara draws the plunger back slowly. Rotating the cotton ball, he watches as the syringe fills up. When the cotton is completely dry, Gaara holds up the syringe to the light. He pushes down on the plunger until a small bit of fluid comes out from the tip of the needle.

He begins to slap and rub his vein gently with his index and middle fingers until it grows and is fairly visible through his pale skin.

He takes the syringe and sticks it into the vein. Gaara allows it to fall slightly so the needle sinks further into his vein. Using his left hand, he holds it securely in his vein while pulling the plunger back with his right one. Some blood rushes into the plunger. Gaara pushes it inward, emptying the contents into his vein.

He slowly removes the needle from his vein and picks up a cotton ball. He places pressure on it and then puts a bandaid over it.

Gaara lets out a sigh. He walks to his bed. Lowering himself onto the sheets, he closes his eyes

_I don't have a type._


	7. Hush

** Chapter 7: Hush **

**Rin**

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since she had last seen or heard from him. Following the incident in the studio, Gaara had seemed to vanish off the face of the planet.

_Did he leave?_

Rin stares at her reflection in the mirror.

_Why do I care anyway?_

"Mori, you're up!" Comes a shrill voice.

Rin quickly smooths the underside of her bun before walking to the middle of the studio.

She hears the girls behind her snicker.

"Late again," says a pale slender woman. She walks directly in front of Rin.

Her dark eyes are not kind at all. The crow's feet on either side of her eyes don't help the situation.

She roughly tips Rin's head forward, examining her bun. When she is finished, she pushes it back roughly.

"Ten point deduction."

"But for what Mada—"

Slap.

"Who told you to speak?"

The girls behind her burst into laughter.

"I told you to straighten your disgusting hair. It doesn't help this company that you are already darker and fatter than the other girls, now you won't even comply with something as simple as using a flat iron."

Blood fills Rin's mouth. Her eyes fill with tears. Fighting the urge to cry, Rin raises her arms for the teacher to examine her.

"Bosom too big….hips still too wide…Butt…." She makes a vomiting sound that is met with laughter by the other dancers.

"Why do you even bother Miss Mori? Why do you waste my time and your time? You aren't built to be a dancer. You lack the delicate features of our other girls. I'm sorry but you will remain in corps de ballet once again."

"No."

The room grows silent.

"What did you just say to me?"

Rin hesitates, "I…I said no, ma'am. I didn't come here to be a corp."

The older woman laughs mockingly. "Oohh, and what _did_ you come here to do, your majesty? Rich bitch like you…Your daddy probably just paid for you to be a part of this company, didn't he? Well, I've got news for you…In order to make it as a ballerina, you must not only have talent, but you must also have motivation and drive; things you are lacking. And I refuse to let someone like you buy her way to the top."

"I never bought anything. I was invited by the owner of the company to be here. I gave up college for this. You haven't even seen me dance one time."

"What are you getting at?" she hisses.

"Nothing…I…I am just asking you for a fair chance."

The other dancers burst into laughter.

"Shut up!"

The room falls silent.

"Fair chance at what exactly?"

"A fair chance to be part of the company."

"What does that entail? Do you think you could make it as Coryphée?"

"No.."

"Sujet?"

"No…Prima," Rin whispers, staring down at the floor.

"Prima," the older woman repeats, as if it was spoken in a different language.

After what seems like an eternity, she woman clears her throat.

"It will have to wait until after Christmas. We already have a prima for that. If in January, you still feel confident, then you can face off against our Prima in front of 3 judges. They will be the ones to decide. Please do not mention this to anyone outside this room. If word gets out that an arrogant little kid thinks she can beat the prima, we will both be ruined."

…

_What was I thinking?! I have less than a month to prepare._ There was no way she could be prima. The current prima was a 35 year old beauty. Tall, slender, pale, dark haired….She was everything Rin was not. She had been dancing for over 30 years. No way was Rin going to take her spot.

_I might as well just quit now and become a stripper._

Sighing, Rin turns her key in the apartment door. The place is dimly lit.

_Strange, Naruto should be home by now._

She hears heavy breathing coming from the living area. Grabbing a knife, she silently walks into the darkened room.

The breathing is louder now. She thinks she hears a second person as well.

Rin quickly flickers on the light. Her eyes widen as she feels the blood drain from her body.

"Nooooooooo!"

"Rin what the actual fuck?!" Naruto yells, standing up from the floor, revealing a naked Hinata, who quickly pulls the sheets over her entire body, mortified.

"Put that away!" Rin squeals, turning away from naked Naruto.

"Why didn't you knock first?!" Naruto yells accusingly, his cheeks flaming.

"Knock where exactly?! I didn't expect to come home to you guys humping in the middle of the living room!"

"Ahh Rin… you're the worst….Promise you won't tell anyone okay?"

"Promise."

…

"Do you think he left?" Rin asks staring into her glass of water.

She Naruto and Hinata are seated at the kitchen table.

"Nah…doubt it. Gaara wouldn't leave without telling me…Just. He needs time," Naruto says.

_Time… it had seemed to pause when Rin had seen the way Gaara looked at her that Monday in the studio. That's all she had been able to think about since then. Gaara._

The front door opens.

"Gaara!" Naruto calls out excitedly as the redhead appears in the kitchen doorway.

Rin's eyes widen and she looks up quickly. As soon as she does so, Gaara turns avoids her gaze.

"Where you been man?"

"Busy."

_His voice sounds different…almost hollow._

Gaara quietly shuffles into the kitchen and sits beside Naruto.

"We can talk later," Naruto says, standing up. "Have to take Hinata home."

Gaara nods.

Hinata stands up from her seat, "See you tomorrow Rin," she says, avoiding eye contact.

The pair walks out of the kitchen.

"Would you like something to drink?" Rin hears herself ask as she stands up.

Gaara doesn't even glance her way.

She walks to the fridge and pulls out a glass of pomegranate juice. Rin walks back to the table and places it in front of Gaara.

He still doesn't look at her.

"Here you go," she says softly.

Still nothing.

Gaara gently pushes the glass aside and abruptly stands up.

He grabs her hand before it makes contact with his face.

Still, he doesn't look at her.

She struggles out of his grip.

Rin slams her hand on the countertop.

"Look at me damnit!"

She reaches for the glass of juice but Gaara wrestles it out of her hand. The sound of glass shattering fills the room as the dark juice spills all over the front of her white shirt and his grey hoodie. Rin tries to move from his grip but Gaara grasps her wrist tighter.

"You," her voice breaks, "You've got some nerve!"

At last, Gaara looks up. His sea green eyes meet her cool grey ones.

Rin begins to shake as a tear rolls down her cheek. She looks down at the floor.

"Where do you," she pounds her fist into his chest, "get off acting like this?!"

He stares at the top of her head.

"Answer me!" She screams looking back up at him.

Gaara quietly gazes at her.

"Why do you think it's okay for you to just…walk in here and..." she chokes on a sob, "just come in here and just _ruin_ things!"

He continues to stare into her eyes but says nothing.

…

**Gaara**

**_She's all yours._** Gaara feels himself go tense. The voice. He…It was back.

**_Take her Gaara. She's all yours._ **

Gaara stares at her.

**_She's hot isn't she Gaara? Just wrap your arms around her and comfort her…Then you can have what you want._ **

_What I want?_

**_Sex._ **

Gaara feels a weird sensation in him. When was the last time?

**_Too damn long. Go ahead, just do it._ **

Gaara feels himself move closer to Rin.

Startled, she looks up at him, tears in her eyes.

_No! Be quiet._

Gaara pushes her backwards. Rin looks mortified as she falls onto the floor. Shards of glass lodge themselves in her palm.

"What the…"

Gaara leans down and whispers into her ear, "Stay the hell away from me if you know what's good for you."

He stands up straight. Gaara walks out of the kitchen, not once looking back at her.


	8. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have been pretty slow up to this point in the story. The chapters will be longer now and things will begin to pick up. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

** Chapter 8: Date Night **

**Gaara**

_It's too damn cold._

He pulls his beanie further down on his head. Bag under his arms, Gaara opens the glass door.

A familiar odour fills his nostrils.

_Weed._

"What's up man? Care to join?" Sasori asks from the other end of the studio. He, Sai, Deidara, and Yoruichi are huddled in a circle on the floor.

"I came to drop off my stuff for tomorrow," Gaara says, once he is a few feet from them.

"Nice, nice," Deidara says, licking the paper shut.

"Just set it to the side," Sasori says lightly, "Itachi, Nagato, and Hidan will be over shortly. You should stay."

_I see the whole group is having a little get together._

"I'll pass," Gaara says dryly.

"Don't be like that," Sai says.

"They haven't seen you in a while. Was just telling them you were now in the area and they're pretty excited to catch up with you."

Gaara can't help but scoff.

"Why would you lie like that?"

Sasori looks confused, "Lie about what?"

"Nothing," Gaara mumbles.

The door slams open, allowing a gust of wind to fly into the building.

Gaara shivers.

"This shit better be fucking worth it!" Roars a huge, smiling man. He's tanned and muscular with light grey hair that is slicked back.

_Hidan._

"Could you be any more annoying?" mutters a tall, pale skinned, redhead.

_Nagato._

"I don't see why I even bother with you guys," adds the dark haired man.

_Itachi._

"I see the gang is all here," Nagato says, glancing around the room. His eyes fall on Gaara and instantly light up.

"Well if it isn't Sabaku himself,"

"In the flesh," Gaara says sarcastically.

Hidan bursts into a fit of laughter.

"You haven't changed one bit I see."

"Congratulations to your family on the merger by the way," Itachi adds dryly.

Gaara shrugs, "Look, as much as I would like to catch up with the guys, I do have things to do."

"Come on man…You know you don't," Deidara says with a laugh, "Just stay for like an hour or two…Hang out with friends," he reaches in his pocket.

He pulls out a small velvet pouch and throws it to Gaara.

"A gift," Sasori says with a toothy grin, "From all of us…as a way of welcoming you back."

"Besides, I still have to give you your invites for tomorrow so you have no choice but to wait," Sai adds.

Sighing, Gaara sits down besides Yoruichi.

_He's awfully quiet._

"Atta man," Hidan says, sitting beside Gaara.

"Have you and Yoruichi met?" Nagato asks as he takes off his jacket.

"Yeah," Gaara and Yoruichi both mumble, neither looking at the other.

"Are we missing something?" Itachi asks, suddenly more interested in the guys around him.

"I need a drink," Yoruichi says, abruptly getting up.

"Sato got his ass handed to him by Sabaku over here a few weeks ago," Deidara whispers.

Hidan stares at Gaara. "Yeah right! I would love to see that," he says through laughter.

"How come?" Nagato and Itachi both ask.

"Sabaku over here has his eyes set on Sato's girl."

"Wait…Sato has a girl?" Itachi asks.

"Yeah man! You know…The petite hottie," Hidan says a bit too excitedly, drawing an hourglass figure in the air. "I forget her name…All I know is that the girl has a nice body on her. Beautiful face too."

"Rin," Sasori says.

"That's right! And a lovely name too…Man, I would fuck her brains out."

Gaara flinches.

"I think you've upset him," Nagato jokes.

"Why would that upset me?" Gaara spits, a bit too harshly.

"Chill…If none of it is true, then there's no reason to get defensive, right?" Itachi asks, a smirk on his face.

"Who wants vodka?" Yoruichi asks, suddenly appearing behind them.

He opens the bottle and takes a swig.

"Shit, that's strong," he says, clearing his throat.

"Well, don't hug the entire damn bottle to yourself," Hidan barks, "Pass it around."

Yoruichi silently hands the bottle to a hesitant Gaara. After what feels like an eternity, Gaara finally takes a swig.

_Damn. It is strong._

He feels his entire body getting lighter, as if he is floating on a cloud.

"You done rolling yet?" he asks Deidara.

"I take it you're staying then?" he asks, lighting the blunt. Deidara takes a quick puff and hands it to Gaara

Gaara places his mouth on the blunt and sucks deeply. Closing his eyes, he allows the sensation to totally envelop him.

_What the hell._

…

Head pounding, Gaara puts his key into the lock and turns it, opening the door to the apartment.

The sound of laughter drifts from the living room into the kitchen. Gaara bends down to remove his shoes.

"I'll get some more lemonade," Rin calls, walking into the kitchen.

Gaara doubles over, grasping his head in pain.

"Hey you okay?" She asks, hurrying over to him.

"I'm fine," Gaara murmurs as she bends down beside him.

"Let me help you to your room."

"No, it's fine," he says pushing away.

She ignores him and wraps her arms around his shoulder.

"I said I'm fine!" He yells, pushing her away.

She takes a step back.

"I'm fine, really…" he says gently.

Rin nods and quietly walks to the fridge.

"Where's Naruto?"

"In the living room with Hinata," Rin says, not looking at him.

She brings out a pitcher of lemonade and some glasses. Placing them on a tray, she walks out of the kitchen to the living room, Gaara behind her.

"Here you go," Rin says, placing the tray on the table.

"Thank you Rin," Hinata smiles sweetly.

Gaara clears his throat. His head continues to pound.

"Naruto," he says, steadying his voice, "I have an exhibit tomorrow night…" He reaches into his inner jacket pocket, pulling out 4 invitations. He hands two cards to Naruto.

"You're supposed to bring a date. One's for you and another is for Hinata," Gaara says.

"This is nice," Naruto says, examining the lettering on the invitations.

"Thank you so much Gaara," Hinata says, looking up and smiling.

"What about you?" Naruto asks, reading through the invitation.

"About me?"

"Yeah, says here that everyone invited should have a date."

Gaara stares at him blankly. "Date?"

"Hmmmm…..Oh, I know! Why don't you take Rin?!"

"Rin?" He asks, almost confused.

"Yeah…I'm sure she would like to go see your stuff…and support you like friends do…"

"What about Yoruichi? Can't he take her?"

"They umm…" Naruto hesitates.

"We aren't together anymore…" she says, surprising them all.

_Not together anymore?_

**_Now's your chance._ **

Pushing the thought aside, Gaara hands her the invitation. He notices her bandaged hand as she takes the invitation.

_Did I do that?_

Naruto seems to notice it too.

"What's up with your hand Rin?"

"I…" She stutters, "I hurt it while getting a drink last night," she says with a laugh. "You know how much of a klutz I am," She runs her hands through her ponytail. "Add alcohol to the equation and there's a ten out of ten chance that I'm getting hurt."

_Why did she lie?_

"Thanks," she says, smiling brightly at Gaara.

His body grows warm.

"Yeah," he says, looking away from her.

"Oh my goodness, I don't have anything to wear!" Rin squeals.

Hinata gasps, "me neither."

Rin smiles mischievously at Hinata.

…

**Rin**

"I can't believe you're going to be Gaara's date," Hinata says, smiling at Rin as the pair get out of Rin's VW Beetle.

"Tch…It's not really a date baka," Rin says jokingly.

"Well, you gotta start somewhere right?" Hinata giggles.

"What makes you think I'm interested I him anyway?"

"Just a hunch," Hinata says, grabbing Rin's hand.

"Let's go before the cute dresses are all gone."

The girls run into the huge department store.

…

**Gaara**

"What's up with you man?" Naruto asks as the redhead walks into his room and takes a seat beside him on the bed.

Gaara lets out a sigh, "I saw the guys today."

It takes a moment before it registers with Naruto.

"Nice…how's everyone doing?"

"Fine."

"What did you guy get up to?"

"Just smoked a few blunts and had some drinks."

"Awww without me? You suck," Naruto says jokingly, punching him lightly.

"I didn't even want to stay. I just needed to get the invites."

"….So, what are you going to do now?"

"Do about what?"

"Rin."

"What about her?" Gaara closes his eyes.

"Are you going to tell her how you feel?"

"What are you talking about Naruto?"

"Dude…you like her. It's all over your face…"

"You're imagining things."

"I think you should tell her."

"No."

"Why not?"

"What the fuck will that accomplish?!" Gaara spits out, his eyes opening.

Naruto frowns.

"Sorry Naruto," he mumbles, running his hands through his mussed curls.

"Just tell her. If she doesn't feel the same way, then it's not the end of the world. She's pretty chill so things won't be awkward afterwards….Better than having you act like you do now. Besides, she's no longer with ass face so you never know."

Gaara opens his eyes. They meet with Naruto's bright blue eyes.

_He knows me so well._

"What's up?" Naruto asks, a confused look on his face.

Gaara shakes his head.

…

**Rin**

_She's so beautiful._

Rin watches Hinata walk out of the dressing room.

"How does this one look on me?" Hinata asks, turning around in a circle for Rin to examine.

"You look stunning as always," Rin says with a warm smile.

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course. You're like…model gorgeous…Nice, flawless pale skin, long, dark hair, light eyes, slender body but still busty…" She gushes, "I would kill to be you…Not too tall and not too short, you're like perf—"

Hinata grabs Rin's hands.

"Rin….Another woman's beauty is not the absence of yours…"

Rin forces a laugh.

"I'm serious…You're really gorgeous…You can't keep comparing yourself to everyone around you."

"I'm an outsider…. I was born in Japan, been here all my life, but I'm still an outsider. My family has been here for generations but I will always be an outsider…"

"…Rin."

"I just wish I looked Japanese; that's all. Sometimes I wish I was Mai."

Mai. Her perfect half-sister. The golden haired, blue eyed, rosy beauty.

"Rin…" Hinata pulls her into a tight embrace.

…

**Gaara**

He sighs and takes one final look at himself in the mirror.

_Why am I so nervous? It's just some local art show._

It was his first show in a long time. He honestly did not know what to expect. The way Gaara saw it, things could either go really well or really badly.

His wild curls are somewhat tamed thanks to mousse and a comb. He has on a fitted grey sweater over a light blue button down shirt, dark blue jeans with the ankles rolled up, and a pair of sandy brown oxfords. Minus the one stray curl that refuses to stay in place, opting instead to kiss his forehead, everything is exactly as it should be. Gaara checks his watch.

8:15 pm.

The exhibit starts at 9:30.

_Everything is going well so far._

Checking his hair one last time, Gaara heads out of his room into the living area.

Hinata and Naruto are seated at the Havana sofa, deep in conversation.

The blond's usually messy hair is gelled back in a neat style. He's wearing a navy blue blazer that isn't buttoned; showing his plain white tee underneath, as well as a pair of light khakis and dark brown oxfords.

Hinata's dark hair hangs down her pale back. She has on a strapless pastel blue pleated cocktail dress along with a pair of white pumps.

_They're certainly an attractive couple._

"Where's Rin?" Gaara asks, checking his watch.

8:20 pm.

"Right here," comes her voice from behind him.

She has on a coral coloured bandage dress that shows off her golden brown skin. Her dark black curls frame her face, resting nicely on her shoulders. The black pumps on her feet seem to elongate her legs.

"All set?" she asks with a smile that makes his entire body warm up.

"I'm driving," Naruto chimes in.

Gently taking Hinata's hand, he walks passed Gaara and Rin.

"See you guys at the car," he calls out, not looking back.

Rin giggles.

"Your hair," she says, gesturing at his one disobedient curl, "It doesn't want to stay."

Cheeks growing hot, Gaara rakes his fingers through his curls in an attempt to subdue the curl.

_Not happening._

Rin giggles again. "It's not that big a deal, c'mon."

Gaara watches her walk towards the door. He pauses to catch his breath before quietly following behind her.

…

**Rin**

_Oh my goodness he looks so good!_

She squeals internally as they step into the cool December air.

"What took so long?" Naruto asks when they slide into the back seat of his truck.

"Hinata, what are you guys doing for Christmas?" Rin asks, ignoring Naruto completely.

"Probably just a dinner with the entire family."

"So you'll be feeding a village," Naruto jokes.

"You going to go to the dinner Naruto?" She asks as they pull out of the apartment complex.

"Yeah," Naruto says with a toothy grin, "I'm going to be there until after New Year's."

"Sweet! So the old man is warming up to you finally?" she laughs, "No offense Hinata."

"Yeah, father likes Naruto a lot now. What about you Rin?"

"Going home to my family…Get to see my brother," she says, her voice getting really soft.

"What about the Christmas show with the ballet?"

"I'm sitting that one out."

…

**Gaara**

_Shit. Christmas is a few days away._

He would have to go home. No way would his dad ever forgive him if he missed Mass.

Gaara used to love going to the Midnight Christmas Mass with his uncle when he was younger.

_Yashamaru._

A sharp pain tugs at Gaara's heart.

"You okay?" Her voice snaps him out of it.

"Fine," he says, looking out the window.

_I hope it snows. Hate cold weather but I love the snow._

"Really hope it snows," Rin says aloud.

"Really hope it doesn't," Naruto says. "Hinata's house is cold enough as it is."

"What about you Gaara…What are you doing?" Hinata asks.

"Mass with my family."

"Your family is Catholic?" Rin asks, not hiding her surprise.

"Yes," Naruto, Gaara and Hinata say in unison.

Rin giggles, "Sheesh, don't crucify me! How was I supposed to know…Speaking of which, knowing my dad, we'll probably be having a New Year's Eve party again this year."

Hinata claps her hand in delight, "I hope so! The one from last year was amazing!"

"Haha, thank you. I'll make sure to tell Miyuki you enjoyed it. But yeah, Naruto if you stay with the Hyuga clan, then you'll be able to come. And since Gaara's dad is now a partner, his family will be automatically invited."

"Not sure how I feel about rich people parties," Naruto says.

"Hinata and I hate them," Rin chuckles, "We just stay for like an hour to appease the adults then we go off and do our own thing."

"We'll see," Naruto says.

Rin rolls her eyes.

Gaara looks down at his watch.

9:26.

"We're here!"

The car stops in front of the glass building. Gaara opens the door and walks out. Rin tries to get out but he notices her wince in pain as her injured hand touches the side of the car.

He goes to help her but she instantly acts okay.

"It's no big deal," she says with a sheepish smile.

…

"Hello and welcome!" Sasori's voice fills the hall. Everyone falls silent.

"It is such a great honour to have all of our artists here, as well as our distinguished judges: Mr. Daisuke Takahashi, curator at the National Museum of Modern Art, Yoshikazu Uchida, freelanced photographer, and the man the media has dubbed the father of art, modern and classical, Mr. Haru Mera."

Light applause fills the hall as all three men stand up and bow briefly before taking their seats near the front of the room.

"Now, before we unveil all the pieces, our 6 artist will come up and briefly explain the theme that they selected as well as what media they utilised and what their inspiration was."

_No one told me I would be speaking. I'm going to make an ass of myself._

The room begins to close in on him.

"And finally, we have Mr. Sabaku."

_Sabaku._

"You got this man," Naruto whispers, patting Gaara on the back.

The entire room falls silent as Gaara walks to the front and takes the microphone from a smiling Sasori.

He closes his eyes.

"Ummm," he says, exhaling. "About a month or so ago, I was randomly asked to participate in this contest," he says, raking his fingers through his curls.

Light laughter fills the hall.

"I honestly had no idea what I was going to be doing because it had been so long since I had last made anything of substance," he opens his eyes. They instantly meet Rin's eyes.

"It was around that time that I had the great privilege of coming across…one of the most talented dancers I have ever seen perform."

Whispers begin to go up.

"It was a short improvised thing…but it was incredibly captivating. The way her performance made me feel that day…I became obsessed with capturing that feeling through my art. So for three long weeks, I locked myself away in my room, hoping to convey that through my art. My pieces are predominantly oil on canvas, although there are a few photography pieces as well as one blown glass work. Thank you. "

He hands the microphone back to Sasori and walks back to his seat amid applause. As soon as he sits down, Rin gets up and walks to the bathroom.

"That was amazing!" Hinata breathes.

"What's wrong with her?" Gaara asks Naruto.

"How should I know?"

…

**Rin**

Heart racing, Rin rushes into the toilet stall.

_What's going on here?_

Why did Gaara say what he did? Was this some sort of sick joke?

"Feel free to walk around and view the artwork. The winner will be announced at 11pm," comes Sasori's voice from the main hall.

Sighing, she walks out of the bathroom and back to their table.

"Where's Gaara?" she asks Naruto, noticing the empty seat by hers.

"He went outside for some air," Naruto says, "He doesn't like to be around while other people look at his art."

"Nerves?"

"I'm honestly not sure what the reason is," Naruto says with a shrug.

"Let's check out his stuff," Rin says, "I'm excited to see what his art looks like."

Rin and Naruto stand up.

"Earth to Hinata!" Rin says jokingly.

The dark haired woman looks up at her and smiles weakly.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine…Just feeling a bit weak."

…

**Gaara**

_It sure is cold. Hopefully it'll snow._

"Gaara," comes Naruto's voice from behind him, "I'm going to take Hinata home…She's not feeling well…I'll try and come back for you and Rin in a bit," he says, arms wrapped around a hunched Hinata.

"Don't worry about it. We'll take the bullet train back," Gaara says, not turning around.

"Cool, you should head in, they're about to announce the winner."

Gaara looks down at his watch.

10:58.

_How long have I been out here?_

"Let me know how it goes okay?"

"Sure. Feel better Hinata," Gaara says as the pair walks passed him.

Hinata smiles weakly.

Letting out a sigh, Gaara turns around and walks back into the building. He spots Rin seated at the table and walks over to her.

She has a weird look on her face.

He opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by the sound of the microphone.

"Well, the moment we have been waiting for," Sasori says. "I'd like to congratulate and thank all of our artists for the great pieces they presented. As a result, each artist will be given a small gift from the studio."

Light applause.

"Now, without further ado, our judges."

All three judges stand up. A tall, skinny man takes the mic.

"It's so great to see all the wonderful talent in one room. I'm Daisuke Takahashi, curator at the National Museum of Modern Art, and I had the great honor of picking the 3 place winner."

The room falls silent.

"In third place, Eito Kagome with his pottery."

The room breaks into thunderous applause.

A hefty bald guy walks up to collect his plaque and an envelope with what Gaara is assuming is his check.

_Well…This isn't looking too good for me._

Takahashi hands the mic over to a shorter, older man.

"I'm Yoshikazu Uchida, freelanced photographer, and I had the pleasure of selecting the second place winner."

Once again the room falls silent.

"In second place, with his photo series, Daiki Oshiro."

Applause.

_Well….There is always next time._

The mic is handed over to a tall slim man with salt and pepper hair and beard.

"Such a pleasure to be here tonight," he says with a glittering smile. "I'm Haru Mera and I do a bit of everything as far as art is concerned."

Chuckles fill the room.

"Well, I must say, I was thoroughly impressed with all the talent that I've seen tonight. It's encouraging to see the youngsters keeping art alive. I had the most difficult task, because I truly believe that all art is beautiful but I wasn't allowed to award first prize to everyone."

More laughter.

"And honestly, in this situation, I don't think I would have wanted that anyway. Although all the works were spectacular, there was one series in particular that truly spoke volumes. In my 40 odd some years of doing art, I have never felt what I felt tonight whilst looking at the works by our first place winner. So, in first place is Sabaku no Gaara."

The room erupts into applause. Everyone stands up.

_Me._

It takes a moment for it to register.

_I won._

Knees shaking, Gaara gets up from his table and walks to the front of the room.

"Congratulations," Haru beams.

"Th-thank you…" Gaara stutters.

The applause grows louder.

His plaque is placed in his hands by a smiling Sasori.

"Good job Sabaku," he says, also handing him an envelope.

Gaara looks to their table and noticed Rin is gone.

He walks back to the table amid the dying applause.

_Guess she left._

Gaara heads towards the door.

A cold gush of wind hits his face as he steps outside.

_Still no snow._

He notices a figure standing a few feet ahead of him.

_Rin._

Gaara walks closer to her. Rin turns around and smiles at him.

"Congratulations Gaara."

He feels his entire body grow warm.

Without thinking, Gaara pulls her to him.

She looks up at him, a confused look on her face.

"…G—Gaara?"

"Thank you…Rin…" he murmurs, gazing into her wide grey eyes.

They moonlight makes them glitter.

She smiles shyly.

Gaara feels his face flame up.

_I like her._

"…Gaara…I.."

"I like you," he finally says

Rin's eyes widen and she bursts into a fit of giggles.

_Great…I just made an ass of myself._

"I would like to get to know you better," Gaara says quietly.

He feels her wrap her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.

"Gaara," she mumbles into his chest.

He stands there, unable to move.

She looks up at him, a bright smile lighting up her entire face.

At that moment, one perfect snow flake lands on the tip of her nose.

Her eyes widen.

"It's snowing!" She squeals, pulling back from Gaara.

Gaara lets out a sigh. "Yeah," he says simply.

"There's this hole in the wall noodle shop we should go to celebrate your award," she pauses. A weird look appears on her face. Her gaze falls to the floor.

"I like you too Gaara…" she whispers shyly.

_She likes me._

Gaara feels himself get lighter and lighter as the words surround him like a warm embrace.

She looks up at him and smiles again. "We should head over," she says quietly.

He stays dazed as they begin to walk and remains dazed until they get to this small shop.

"Welcome!" call out a portly old bald man and a pudgy woman.

"Hey you guys!" Rin says happily.

"Rin, so great to see you," says the woman.

"Who's this with you, a boyfriend?" asks the man, causing her to blush.

"N—no…he's a friend. He got 1st place in the art contest at the studio. We're here to celebrate."

"Woooow, that's amazing sweetie," croons the woman, "What is your name?"

"Gaara…Sabaku no Gaara," he says quietly.

"Well, Gaara, I hope you guys are hungry because I have a large bowl of Nebeyaki Udon coming your way…On the house!."

"You're the best Hayate!" Rin says, sitting on the stool.

Gaara takes the stool to her right.

"You got any sake, Akane?" Rin asks with a mischievous grin.

"Sake?! You're not old enough to be drinking!"

"Aww…don't be like that…It's a celebration."

"Fine, fine...Hold your horses…" She walks behind the counter.

"Here we go," she says placing a bottle of Junmai Dai-Ginjo in front of them.

Rin claps, "My favourite!"

Akane pours some into two guinomi, handing one to Gaara and the other to Rin.

A Cheshire grin appears on her face as she drinks the sake.

Gaara slowly takes a sip.

_This is nice…Semi-dry and smooth._

"Alright kids, save room for some of this food," Hayate says, placing two a donabe in front of each of them.

Gaara removes the lid and is taken aback by the aroma that fills his nostrils.

"Try it," Rin says, staring at him.

Picking up his chopsticks, Gaara reaches passed the egg and veggies and grabs some udon noodles from underneath the bowl. The taste of the noodles mixes with the broth from the mushroom and the chicken. He grabs the shrimp tempura and takes a bite.

_Delicious._

"I think he likes it," Akane says smiling.

…

"Thank you guys so much for the meal…Gah, I'm full…Going to sleep like a baby," Rin says, hugging Hayate and Akane.

"It was nice seeing you again Rin, come by more often," Akane says.

"And bring Gaara with you, I like the appetite on this one," Hayate says, laughing.

"Will do! Hope to see you guys for Christmas."

"You most certainly will," Akane says.

They walk out of the store.

"It looks gorgeous out here!" Rin squeals, taking kicking off her pumps. "Race you to the station….On your mark, ready, set go!" She runs off with a giggle, leaving her shoes by Gaara's feet.

He bends down to pick them up.

_She has small feet._

"Gaara!" She calls out, waving from all the way down the street. "Come on slow poke!"

Gaara smiles.

_I like her._


	9. Christmas

** Chapter 9: Christmas **

**Rin**

"Wake up!"

Rin rolls out of her bed onto the floor, startled.

"Grab a brush and put a little makeup!"

She rakes her arm across her bed, searching for her phone.

_What time is it? Who's calling me?!_

"Aha," she says, grabbing her phone. She slides her hand across the screen.

1:54 p.m. 10 missed calls from Yoruichi.

_What the hell does he want?_

1:54 pm…it takes a while before it registers.

"Oh my….I'm sooo late!"

Rin slowly stands up. A sharp pain soars through her entire body.

"Damn," she winces in pain.

_Need to ask Naruto what was up with Hinata._

She walks to the door and opens it. Sitting in front of the door is a small vase with Tiger Baby lilies and a card with her name on it.

Rin bends down and picks up the vase.

"These are nice," she murmurs, walking back into her room.

She places the vase on the small drawer beside her bed and gets into the bed, note in hand.

Shivering, she pulls the sheets tightly around her.

_Rin, thank you for last night. Gaara._

"Last night?!" she screams.

_What happened last night?! Did I sleep with him?_

She begins to panic. Then it all comes back to her: The contest, the hug, the confession, the snow, and the food.

Rin clutches the note against her chest.

_Gaara likes me. And I like him… I don't know why but I just do._

Pain courses through her entire arm.

"Shit!" She drops the note, clutching her bandaged hand. Blood slowly begins to soak through the bandage.

_Why hasn't it healed yet?_

Rin slowly stands up, peeling her pajamas off her sore body. Naked, she walks into the bathroom and turns the shower on. While the water heats up, she examines herself in the mirror.

Avoiding looking at her body, she focuses on her hair. Bits of white are visible at the roots of her jet black hair.

_Shit…I thought I used permanent?_

…

_Why is it so cold in here?_

Grumbling, Rin shuffles into the kitchen.

Naruto is seated at the table, a cup of hot chocolate in his hand, Hinata's face buried in his chest.

"Hey guys."

Naruto looks up at her but doesn't smile.

"Is everything okay?" She asks, concerned.

"Fine," Naruto says quickly. "Just really tired."

"Hinata?"

"Leave her alone," Naruto snaps.

"Naruto," Hinata says weakly, "Don't be mean…"

"It's fine," Rin says laughing.

"You're finally up," comes Gaara's voice from behind her.

Rin feels her body grow warm.

She turns around and smiles at him.

"Thank you for the gift," she says softly.

His cheeks turn a bright red. Gaara runs his slender finger through his wild curls.

"It's nothing… Glad you like it."

"Wait a minute! What is going on here?!" Naruto screams, slamming the mug down on the counter.

Rin gives him a strange look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean with you and Gaara…Why are you guys being so polite and smiling and blushing?"

"You're imagining things Naruto," Gaara says, making her laugh.

"There it is again!"

"Get some rest Naruto, you're seeing things that aren't there," Gaara says, walking out of the kitchen. He turns back and glances at Rin.

She waits about a minute or so before also walking out toward the living room.

He's standing in the corner by the bookshelf.

"Shouldn't you be with the ballet?" He asks as she stands beside him.

"Woke up too late to go," she murmurs, staring up at him.

_Damn, he's really handsome._

"Is something the matter?"

"No..I…" she stammers, "I…" gulping, she lets out a weak laugh.

"I'm going home later tonight," Gaara says, picking up a book from the shelf and examining it.

"Oh," she says not even hiding her disappointment.

"Rin….you know I meant everything I said right?"

She nods quietly.

"But I've never done this before…"

"Done what? Been with a girl?"

"No I've been with girls," his face turns red, "What I mean is…I haven't ever dated anyone before."

Rin is quiet for a bit.

"Well…we don't have to rush anything…We can go really slowly; get to know each other."

"…Yeah that sounds good."

He puts the book back on the shelf and faces her.

They stare at each other for a moment before he finally speaks.

"Do you…Ummm, would you like to go for a walk?" he stutters, face turning red.

Rin giggles.

"Yeah sure thing, just need to put on something warmer."

She begins to walk and realises he isn't following her.

"C'mon..."

**…**

**Gaara**

_Smells like citrus._

Gaara stands by her door as she walks over to the closet. He notices the vase with the lilies on the dresser by her bed and a set of picture frames on a dresser close to where he is standing.

He quietly walks over to them.

In a light blue glass frame is the picture of a little boy. The boy's skin is a creamy vanilla, with cheeks flushed with a dusty rose. He has a small, round nose with a spray of freckles that start above it, spreading across his cheeks. His wide eyes are bright blue and wide. His plump, rosebud lips are turned up in a shy smile; enormous dimples on either cheek.

In a green frame next to the blue one, is a picture of two grinning, wavy-haired, towheaded boys. Their eyes are light brown; their skin is paler than that of the other boy's. Yet, they also have the same spray of freckles, and the same enormous dimples.

Next to that, in a pale pink frame, are two smiling women. Gaara notices them as the women from the merger, way back when. Mrs. Mori, the pale, hazel-eyed woman with long, pin-straight, black hair, is standing next to a taller, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, rosy cheeked, dimpled woman. The two women share the same laughing eyes, wide smile, and high cheekbones.

Gaara notices a picture tucked into the back of the blue frame. He goes to grab it but as soon as he does, it is snatched from his hands.

"My family," Rin says, gesturing at the frames. She opens a drawer and tosses the photo in.

"That's my younger brother, Ryuu" she points at the boy in the blue frame.

"My half-brothers, Minori and Minoru" She pauses, "And my half-sister Mai and my dad's wife, Miyuki."

_Dad's wife? Not step-mom?_

Gaara speaks without thinking, "and your mom?"

Rin shrugs, "She's dead," she says nonchalantly. Gaara catches something in her eyes. As soon as it appears, it is gone.

…

"It's really pretty out here," Rin says as they walk out of the building, "Too bad it's cold," she chuckles.

"Yeah…" he says simply.

They walk in silence for a bit before she clears her throat.

"So, ummm…do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah…a sister, Temari and a brother, Kankuro. It's just us and my dad," he says staring straight ahead as they walk down the snow covered sidewalk.

"Are they older?"

"Yeah…Temari is 21 and Kankuro is 20."

"Hmm," she says simply.

They walk in silence until they reach a snow covered park a few blocks from their apartment.

Rin dusts off the fresh snow and takes a seat on the frozen bench. Gaara does the same and sits next to her, careful to keep a bit of distance between them.

She looks up at the sky before closing her eyes, a serene smile on her face.

Gaara stares at her for what seems like an eternity.

"Gaara?" She suddenly says, startling him.

"Yeah?"

"I never got to tell you…" her voice trails off.

_Tell me what?_

"…How much your speech meant to me…And that day at the studio, when…" she pauses, exhaling, "That day at the studio when you looked at me the way you did…..I…" she sighs.

Her eyes suddenly pop open and she makes eye contact with him.

"Have you ever been so happy you felt like crying but not because you're sad but because you're happy but it's not like a celebratory happy because you're kinda sad because a small part of you breaks on the inside…." she laughs nervously, "That's what you did to me…"

She pulls a face and instantly looks down.

"It's stupid and nonsensical….Ignore me…I'm just blabbering."

Gaara is silent for a while.

She looks up at him, clearly embarrassed.

Still he says nothing.

She abruptly stands up.

"We should get going," she says, looking away from him.

Gaara stands up without saying anything. He hesitates before gently pulling her to him, wrapping his arms around her.

"Yeah," he mumbles, "I know what you mean."

…

"Hinata and I left for her home. Hope to see you guys at the New Years Eve party…Naruto," Rin reads aloud.

"He's been acting really strange since last night," Gaara says, walking into the living room with two mugs.

He places them on the table before sitting down by her on the sofa.

Eyes closing, she inhales the aroma of the hot chocolate.

"Thank you Gaara," she says, smiling, her eyes still closed. She slowly puts her head against his shoulder.

Gaara tenses for a second before relaxing.

This was all strange for him. He'd never gotten this intimate with a girl before.

"You alright?" Rin asks, opening her eyes.

"Yeah, just…I'm not used to this kind of stuff."

"Would you like me to stop? I know my head must be heavy." She moves her head off of his shoulder.

He chuckles, "No it's fine…I-I actually like it." His cheeks turn a bright red.

"You're so cute…" she murmurs, burying her face into his shoulder. Her lip gently grazes his neck, setting his entire body aflame.

Rin wraps her arms around his midsection. A sound, small at first, escapes from her throat.

_Is she humming?_

Again he tenses. After a minute or so, he relaxes and wraps his arms around her.

"You're warm," he murmurs, eyes closing.

She giggles and begins to hum louder.

_I know that song._

"Mori mo iyagaru," she breathes softly.

"Bon kara saki-nya.

Yuki mo chiratsuku-shi, Ko mo naku-shi

Bon ga kita-tote, Nani ureshi-karo  
Katabira wa nashi, Obi wa nashi."

Gaara feels the hairs on his body stand up.

"Kono ko you naku, Mori wo ba ijiru  
Mori mo ichi-nichi, Yaseru-yara."

_Yashamaru._

"Hayo-mo yuki-taya, Kono zaisho koete  
Mukou ni mieru wa, Oya no uchi…"

She looks up at him, a sad smile on her lips.

"Mukou ni mieru wa…."

Oya no uchi," she breathes.

He feels a tear roll down his cheek.

Smiling, she wipes his tear.

"Silly," she whispers, near his ear.

She leans in and places a soft kiss on his forehead.

Rin goes to pull back but Gaara wraps his arms around her. She places her head on his chest.

"My mom used to sing me that song…" she whispers, eyes closed, "every night…without fail."

_That was Yashamaru's favourite song._

…

"I'll see you on New Year's," Rin murmurs into his chest as she embraces him tightly.

She pulls back from him and smiles, large dimples appearing in either cheek.

"Yeah," he says, looking away from her as his face grows red.

He glances at her through the corners of his eyes and gives her a small smile.

Gaara walks down the few steps that lead from the apartment building into the parking lot.

He spots Kankuro's sports car parked nearby.

"Nice to see you again man," Kankuro says cheerfully as Gaara slides into the back seat.

"Who was that?" Temari asks suggestively.

"A friend," he says simply.

"Gaara!" Rin's voice travels across the lot. He looks out the window. She's smiling and waving at him.

He gives a small wave in response.

"A friend or a _friend?_ " Kankuro asks, starting the car.

"You asked the same thing twice."

"Who is she Gaara?" Temari asks more insistently.

"I told you already, she's a friend."

"Are you sleeping with her?" They both ask.

"What?! NO!" Gaara screams, his face turning beet red.

"I hope not, I don't want to have to deal with any more crying girls…Yeesh…high school was the worst…High school girls are quick to sleep with a guy and assume that means they're dating," Temari says, rolling her eyes.

"Speaking of which, guess who dad is having over?" Kankuro asks, eagerly waiting for a response.

Gaara sighs, "Who?"

"Matsuri…I think dad and her father are trying to finalise the details on your engagement."

"I'm not marrying her."

"Gaara," Temari starts, "don't be that way…She's a nice girl."

"I'm not interested in her."

She shrugs, "Suit yourself. But you have to tell that to dad."

…

"Gaara!" A short haired brunette screams as he walks into the living area. She stands and runs to him, arms outstretched.

"Whoa there princess," Kankuro says, getting in the way.

"Matsuri," hisses a grey haired woman. "Sit down this instant!"

Rasa, seated on a leather sectional laughs. "No, no…it's fine…you know how youngsters are when they're in love," he says lightly.

"We're not in love," Gaara cuts in flatly.

His father shoots him a dirty look. "Show some manners, boy, and greet our guests."

He stares blankly at his father. He turns to the grey haired woman sitting next to a grey haired man.

"It's nice to see you again Mr. and Mrs. Minamoto," he says, bowing lightly.

The older woman gives him a thin lipped smile. "So nice to see you too Gaara….My you've grown quite a bit since I last saw you…"

Gaara shuffles, running his fingers through his curls.

"Don't hold the boy up Yuki…Can't you see he just got out of the car?" chides the old man.

"Oh, my apologies…Why don't you go put your things down and freshen up for dinner…We can talk then."

…

"What the hell is he up to?" Gaara murmurs aloud as he removes his shirt, lying down on his bed.

He hears a knock at the door.

"Gaara, it's me," comes Temari's voice.

"Come in."

The door opens and the blonde walks into the dimly lit room.

"I swear you're going to ruin your eyes," she mumbles, flickering on the light and unplugging the lamp that had previously served as the only source of lighting in the entire room.

"What's up," he asks, sitting up.

Temari lets out a sigh, sitting down next to him.

"I don't know…Just it's been bothering me…"

"What has?"

"The girl in the parking lot….You sure something isn't going on between you guys?"

_This again._

"Yes…I'm positive."

"Please tell me you're being honest…I don't think dad would stand for another girl coming to our house saying she slept with you and wanted to marry you because you guys are in love…He's part of a bigger company now…Any whiff of scandal could ruin him."

"I'm not sleeping with her Temari…She's a friend. That's all."

"Well…do you have feelings for her?"

He hesitates. "No," Gaara lies.

"You sure? You can't have someone else….Dad is negotiating things with the Minamotos…If they find out you have a girlfriend while they're trying to engage you to their daughter, negotiations could fall through."

"He's after their money."

"Gaara…they're a good family. She's a sweet girl."

"No she's not. She's a nuisance at best..."

"You'll grow to love her."

"Doubt that…She's not my type."

Temari raises an eyebrow, "you have a type?"

Gaara's face flushes.

Temari is silent for a while.

"Alright," she says, standing up, "I better get going…Dinner will be in an hour…See you then," she says, walking toward the door.

"Okay."

The blonde pauses, "Oh and Gaara…if you do have someone…you know you can tell me and Kankuro right? We'll support you in whatever decision you make."

…

**Gaara**

"If you do have someone…" the words replay over and over in his head as he runs his fingers through his curls, allowing for the water to seep through.

"Rin," he says quietly as the water relaxes his curls into waves.

He gently touches his forehead.

_She kissed me earlier…It felt like a butterfly against my skin._

**_Boy…The way you speak, someone who didn't know you would think you were some sort of virgin._ **

Gaara sighs internally.

_You again._

**_Yes, me again…Missed me boy?_ **

_Hardly._

**_So, when are you going to bang her?_ **

_That's not what I'm after._

Gaara shuts off the water.

"Damn, I really shouldn't be left alone with my thoughts," he mumbles, wrapping a towel around his waist and stepping out of the shower, "that asshole Shukaku always finds a way back into my head."

Shukaku was the name of the voice that sometimes spoke to him. As far as Gaara knew, it had been there all of his life.

…

"My, what a handsome young man you are!" Mrs. Minamoto says as Gaara walks into the dining hall.

"Black suits you well my boy," Mr. Minamoto says, patting Gaara on the back.

"You're too kind," Gaara says stiffly.

He feels the older man wrap his hands around his shoulder, leading him to the table.

Gaara quietly takes a seat beside the man.

Maids bearing covered trays walk into the hall. A tray is places before each person; its lid is removed by the maid.

"Gaara, please say Grace," comes his father's voice.

_Damn…when was the last time I said Grace…I hope I remember it._

Gaara bows his head and closes his eyes. Everyone, maids included, follows suit.

"…Bless us…Oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty, through Christ, Our Lord. Amen."

"Amen," they all murmur, making the sign of the cross.

"I must say Rasa, you've raised a fine Catholic boy…He'll be perfect for our Matsuri."

Matsuri blushes, peeking up at Gaara.

Gaara stares blankly at his plate.

"What's the matter boy?" asks Mr. Minamoto. "You're awfully quiet."

Gaara clears his throat, "my apologies…My mind was elsewhere….Will you be attending Mass with us tonight?"

"Of course we will!" Matsuri chimes in, a bit too excitedly.

Gaara stares at her but says nothing.

Rasa clears his throat. "The Minamoto's will be here with us for a few days…to give you and Matsuri some time to get to know one another."

Gaara stands up abruptly, "Excuse me…I have a headache…I need to go lie down until Mass."

…

"Rinny!" two voices scream out as she walks into the house.

Smiling she bends down to hug the towheaded twins.

"Nice to see you, Minori," she says, placing a kiss on the first twin's cheeks.

"I missed you Minoru," Rin adds, giving a kiss to the other twin.

"Wha-what about me big sis? You miss me?" whines the first twin.

"Of course I did, silly," she says burying her face in his neck, making him giggle.

"You're next Minoru," she says playfully, making the boy squeal with delight.

"Ah, Rin, you're home."

"Hi Miyuki," Rin says politely.

The smile vanishes off the woman's face.

"H—How was everything?" she asks nervously.

"Peachy. I need to lie down. Where's Ryuu?"

Miyuki hesitates. "He..he ummm…wasn't feeling well.."

"No problem, I'll go see him," Rin says, walking toward the elevator.

"He's in the hospital Rin," the woman whispers.

Rin turns around, "when did you plan on telling me that my brother was back in the hospital, Miyuki?"

"Rin…We didn't want you worrying."

"We?"

"Your father and I…"

Rin rolls her eyes, "He somehow always ends up in the hospital when he's in your care," she spits, walking toward the front door.

"Rin, where are you going?"

"To see my brother. He's the only family I have," she says bitterly.

"Don't you dare, young lady," comes her father's voice stopping her before she can walk outside.

"Or what?" Rin asks, rage filling her eyes.

Noru bursts into laughter.

"Laugh it up. Your son is sick and you don't care enough to go see him."

"Relax Rin. Ryuu is contagious…They aren't letting anyone see him," come's Mai's voice from behind her father.

"I…I'm sorry…I had no idea," she mutters, looking away embarrassed.

…

Rin pulls the oversized shirt down over her head. Her phone vibrates.

_Who could it be? Better not be that ass face Yoruichi._

**Hi.**

Her heart beats a bit faster.

_Gaara._

**Hey :)**

**What you up to?**

**Lol…getting ready for bed…you?**

**Just got back from Mass.**

**Oh, how was it?**

**It was alright.**

_Damnit. How do I respond to that?_

**Merry Christmas!**

"I'm such an idiot," she says, burying her face into her pillow.

After what seems like an eternity, her phone vibrates again.

**Haha. Thanks. I'll let you get some sleep. Hopefully I'll see you at New Years?**

**For sure. :) Maybe you can kiss me then ;)**

**Haha…jkjk :') Night Gaara 3**

…

**Gaara**

His heart stops for an instant.

_Kiss her._

Gaara gulps.

_I've never really kissed a girl._

**_Outside of sex._ **

_Shut up._

**_I don't know what you're waiting for. She's practically yours._ **

_I'm not interested in that. I like her._

**_So show her how much you like her in bed._ **

_Go away._

**_Can't kiddo. I like it here…beside, you're just lying to yourself. You don't like her. You don't like anyone. All you know how to do is use and kill people._ **

_I don't use people. And I don't kill._

**_Those girls in high school? You slept with them to fulfil your urges then tossed them aside….YOU DON'T KILL?! What the fuck was Yashamaru then, a vegetable?_ **

_Go away._

**_Suit yourself. But I'll be back._ **

Sighing, Gaara takes a seat at his table. He touches the place on his forehead where she had kissed him. A weird sensation soars through his body.

As if possessed, Gaara reaches into his drawer, pulling out a black piece of parchment and a stick of white charcoal.

_Rin._

He puts charcoal to paper.

_She makes me feel so….alive._

He lets out a sigh, dropping the charcoal. Gaara turns the paper upside down without glancing down at it.

_If I look at it now, I'll be tempted to correct things and it'll lose its essence._

That's how he had learned art from his uncle.

"When an overwhelming feeling fills you, quickly capture it. Once you have, put the sketch away until the next day so you aren't tempted to mess with it."

"There's beauty in imperfections," he whispers, standing up from the desk to stretch.

_There's something almost…addictive about her._

He hadn't felt the urge to shoot up since the day of the art show. Granted, it was only two days ago, but it was better than nothing.

Right now though, he needed that familiarity coursing through him.

_There are different stages of addiction. I'm just at a more manageable stage now._

_…_

**Rin**

_I can't sleep._

She quietly shuffles down the hallway.

Rin walks into a darkened room.

Getting on all fours, she crawls across the floor until she finds what she is looking for.

She grins widely.

_Jackpot._

…

Sitting on her bed, Rin opens the bottle of vodka.

She inhales deeply, pleasure written all over her face.

"I'm going to drink every last drop out of you," she coos, as if speaking to a child, "Yes I am."

She takes a gulp. The liquid burns her throat but warms her belly.

_If I'm lucky enough, this will lead me to an early grave…Then I can finally be with you._

_Mom._

…

"Hey, wake up," she feels someone shake her lightly.

"Mom?" she mumbles. Her mouth feels like someone stuffed cotton balls in it. Rin goes to sit up but falls back onto the pillow, her head about to explode. She doesn't even attempt to open her eyes.

"No, it's me…Yoru…"

"W-what are you doing here?" she asks, trying to sound angry but unable to muster more than a strained question.

"I came last night Rin…Your folks said you were in your room sleeping and I came in here and saw you puking…I…I'm just glad I came when I did…" he grabs her hands, "You…you could have died…."

She manages to open her eyes slightly.

Rin feels down and notices her clothes are gone.

Mustering what little strength she has, she sits up.

"Wh-why am I just in my underwear?"

"Your clothes are ruined…They were covered in vomit."

She lifts her hand and runs it across his cheek in an attempt to slap him.

"Y-you had no right….none whatsoever," her voice begins to shake, "I was going to go be with mom at last…and you ruined it…"

Tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

Without hesitating, he wraps her in a tight embrace.

"I can't lose you just quite yet," he mumbles into her neck.

…

"I can't lose you just quite yet," his words play over and over in her mind as she sits across from him at the dining table.

_I have Gaara though….I don't need someone like him. Gaara is sweet and kind._

Yet something in her was holding on very tightly to Yoruichi's words.

Noru clears his throat. "So, Rin," he says, crossing his fingers. "How are things going at the ballet?"

"Fine, fine…" she mumbles, looking down at her plate.

Miyuki clears her throat awkwardly.

"Your…um, your sister is getting married."

"No way! Get out! Rin squeals, dropping her fork down and looking up at her older sister, face beaming.

"You guys are messing with me right?" She says, voice breaking.

Mai shakes her head no, a smile on her face.

"Mai-mai….why didn't you tell me sooner? I'm so happy for you!"

Noru and Miyuki both look surprised.

"Who's the lucky guy?"

Mai blushes, "Haru."

Rin looks confused, "Haru? Who's that?"

"Suzuyama…The young lawyer we took on…Brilliant one."

"Oh, wow! He's a looker," Rin says, giggling.

"Can't believe my big sis is getting married!"

…

**Gaara**

The Sabaku family quietly walks down long hallway leading to the living room.

"Don't embarrass me," Rasa hisses as the doors fly open.

"Rasa! Nice to see you and the family," Noru says happily, standing up from the sofa to shake hands.

"Likewise," Rasa says simply.

The back door flies open. Minori and Minoru rush in, screaming and laughing.

"Daddy!"

The door flies back open.

"I'm gonna eat your toes!" Rin squeals.

The boys yell and proceed to start running.

She is about to run, but stops midway through; noticing the guests.

Rin stares blankly as all eyes are on her.

She's wearing a pair knee length leggings underneath an oversized tank. Her curls are wild about her head.

She blinks once, standing up straight.

"Well," she says, tucking a curl behind her ear.

The curl flies out.

She grins widely, dimples showing.

Gaara feels his cheeks grow red.

"So nice to see you again Mr. Sabaku," Rin bows, "You'll have to forgive me, I wasn't aware you all would be here so early," she says with a giggle.

…

Gaara feels a pair of hands cover his eyes as he walks down the hall.

He can hear the sound of music in the ballroom.

"Rin," he says quietly, putting his hands over hers.

"How'd you know," she says playfully as he turns around and wraps her in a warm hug.

They hear her father and his father's voice approaching them.

Rin places a finger over her lips.

"Follow me," she mouths, taking her hand in his and leading him down the hallway.

Giggling, she opens a door and pulls him into the room, closing the door behind them.

"Welcome to the most amazing place on Earth," she says dramatically, gesturing about the room.

"Bask in the greatness that is Rin's room!"

Gaara stares blankly at her.

"You're the worst," she sighs.

He smiles at her shyly.

Smiling back, she places her head against his chest.

Gaara gently wraps his arms around her.

"How was Christmas?" She mumbles into his chest.

Gaara lets out a sigh, "It was okay."

"You guys have any guests over?" she asks, peeking up at him.

"Yeah, a family friend and their kid came over."

"How old is the kid?"

"She's 17."

Gaara sees something flash across her face.

"She's really annoying," Gaara mumbles.

Rin pulls backwards, taking his hand and leading him to the bed.

He sits down.

"Wait right here," she says, smiling sweetly.

Gaara feels his heart begin to pound as she walks into the bathroom.

She returns a minute later with a first aid kit and a Ziploc bag.

Rin sits down next to him.

"I need help changing my bandage," she says.

"Let me see."

He takes her hand in his. Warmth rushes throughout his entire body.

Gaara begins to unravel the bandage. Rin winces.

He carefully removes the bandage, placing it in a Ziploc bag.

Blood begins to slowly run out of the deep gauge on her palm

Opening the first aid kit, Gaara finds a cotton ball that he uses to soak up the blood.

He opens a pack of alcohol wipes, cleaning the area before he gently wraps a fresh bandage around the middle of her palm.

She winces again.

_I didn't realise it was this bad._

Still holding on to her hand, he lifts it to his mouth, softly kissing her fingers.

"I'm so sorry Rin."

Their eyes meet.

Dropping her hand, he slowly moves his hands to grasp either side of her face.

Gaara feels his entire body growing warm.

"Maybe you can kiss me then," he replays her message in his mind.

His hands move downward.

Gaara takes her hands in his, their fingers intertwining.

Rin stares at him with her doe-like grey eyes. Closing her eyes, she leans toward him.

Exhaling, he closes his eyes before moving his face closer to hers.

_Maybe you can kiss me then._

Their lips are about to touch when the door suddenly opens.

"Hey Rin, I wanted to show Temari here your doll colle-"

The pair instantly pull away from one another.

Gaara feels his face grow hot.

He looks up and sees Rin's sister, as well as his sister, standing in the doorway, shocked expressions on their faces.

_Fuck my life._


	10. January

**Chapter 10: January**

**Gaara**

"I swear it's not what you think it is Temari," Gaara says, rushing after his sister.

The blonde stops, a few feet from the door leading into the ballroom.

"Oh yeah, then what is it?"

Gaara's face turns red. "I-"

"Spare me another lie Gaara…I can't believe you would take advantage of someone like _her._ If her father catches wind, dad will be in for it."

Gaara makes a face, "Take advantage of her?"

"Why do you think it's perfectly fine for you to use girls for your own selfish needs then toss them aside when you're done?" She asks quietly.

"I'm not using her…You have to believe me."

"Just like how I had to believe you that you _didn't_ sleep with those other girls who came to me _crying,_ confused as to why you all but disappeared from their lives after you slept with them?"

Gaara looks away.

"That's right…You need to stop. You can't use this girl. I'm friends with her sister. Dad is part of her father's company. You are _engaged_ to Matsuri. The girl collects dolls for Christ's sake Gaara! Freaking porcelain dolls. She's like a child. Leave her alone. Just for once, be a good son and fulfill your duties to dad."

"Screw dad…and his greed. I thought you knew me better than that, but I guess you're just like our father. You're all the same…Screw this entire family," he spits walking away from his sister.

…

**Rin**

She looks desperately at her sister as Gaara quickly walks out of the room after his sister.

"Mai…this isn't what it looks like…"

Mai stares at her, shock written all over her face.

"Rin….How could you?"

"Mai…."

"You're cheating on Yoru?"

Rin pulls a face, "No…we're not even together anymore."

Mai sighs, "Thank goodness," she says, closing the door.

She sits down beside Rin. "What's going on?" she asks, pushing Rin's hair out of her face.

"Promise you won't tell dad," she says, pleadingly.

Mai hold out her pinky. "Pinky promise."

Rin looks down at her lap. "I like him…he likes me…that's all there is to it."

Mai is quiet for a long while. She finally opens her mouth to speak but is cut off by a knock at the door.

"Come in," Rin says.

The door opens and a flustered looking Gaara walks in.

Mai stands up, "we can talk later yeah?"

Rin nods, head still down.

Her sister lifts her chin. "Love you," she mutters, kissing her on the forehead.

She goes to walk out of the room but pauses by Gaara.

Rin sees her whisper something to him but cannot make out what she says.

Gaara's eyes widen.

…

**Gaara**

"Take care of my sister please…She's fragile," she whispers so softly that Gaara almost doesn't hear what she says.

The room remains awkwardly silent after the door closes behind Mai.

Rin stands up from the bed. She isn't looking at him.

"You should go," she says.

"Rin…I didn't mean to…"

"Leave," she said forcefully, still not looking at him.

Sighing, he runs his fingers through his curls.

"Alright," he says finally, walking back out of the room.

…

He hadn't heard from or seen her in over a week.

Rin wasn't around when he returned to the apartment a few days after the New Year's Eve party.

Naruto was, but there was something off about him.

"Gaara, we need to talk," comes Naruto's voice from outside his door.

_Speak of the devil._

"Come in."

Naruto walks in and takes a seat at the table.

"Haven't heard from you in forever Naruto…Didn't see you at New Years either…everything okay?"

"No….Dude….I don't know what to do," he puts his head down on the desk.

"About what?"

"…Hinata," he says, sitting back up. There are bags underneath his eyes.

"Did you guys break up?"

Naruto is quiet for a long time.

"Naruto…?"

"No…Dude…she's pregnant."

Gaara hears a loud ringing fill his ears.

"H-how?!"

"What do you mean how?" Naruto asks, pulling a face.

Neither one says anything.

"What are you going to do?" Gaara finally asks.

"I don't know man…We haven't told her dad yet…We want to keep the baby but I can't afford to right now…Like, I'm barely staying afloat as it is…I haven't paid rent in 2 months. Rin is too nice to say anything about it….But I can't have a family here…"

"I-don't know what to tell you Naruto," Gaara says quietly.

Naruto laughs, "I didn't come here for answers man…Just needed to get it off my chest. We haven't spoken in forever it feels like."

"Yeah."

"What's been happening with you? Did you go to the New Year's party?"

_Rin._

Gaara looks away from Naruto.

"Yeah."

"How was it?"

Gaara sighs, "Fine."

"Just fine? I get the feeling you're hiding something from me…If I can tell you about the pregnancy thing then you can tell me what's on your mind."

Gaara looks up at Naruto, "Rin and I are dating."

The blond's mouth falls open. "Noooo way!"

Gaara runs his fingers through his curls.

"Dude that's awesome news! Why you looking all sour for?"

"…Haven't heard from her since the party."

…

**Rin**

She can hear the sound of laughter spilling out from the apartment.

_Naruto._

She quickly turns the lock, opening the door.

Rin is instantly swept up her feet.

"Rin!"

She begins to laugh, "Put me down Naruto!"

"Dude…where you been?" He asks, all smiles.

"Busy…It's good to see you again Naruto."

Gaara enters the kitchen.

Rin instantly looks down at the floor.

"I'll see you later," she mumbles, trying to walk passed Gaara.

He grabs her hand.

"Rin."

She feels herself growing warm.

Naruto quietly walks passed them and back into the living room.

"Rin," he says again.

She looks up at him.

"I…I'm sorry….I didn't mean to upset you…I thought you wanted a- I mean, you sent me the message so I…" he exhales, "I didn't mean to offend you."

She stares at him, not saying anything.

_Damn, it's hot in here._

She quietly removes her coat and scarf, placing it on the counter before removing her beanie.

Her curls, which were tucked in, spill about her face wildly.

Gaara's eyes widen.

"Rin, your hair…"

She touches it self-consciously.

Her usually shiny dark curls are an electric white.

"It's naturally white…I…I forgot to dye it back to black," she says quietly, trying to pull the hair back into a ponytail.

"Dye it? What's wrong with it now?"

She looks up at him, eyes wide with hope.

"Do you like it?"

Gaara blushes, "Yeah…it's really nice," he murmurs. "You should keep it that way."

She stares down at the floor, shuffling her toes about, "You're just saying that," she mutters embarassed.

"No…you look…." his entire face turns red, "beautiful," he says with a gulp. "Really beautiful."

Their gazes meet. Gaara gently wraps his hand around her waist, pulling him closer to him.

"I still want that kiss," she murmurs, her lips a few inches from his.

They close their eyes and lean toward each other.

"Smoochy smoochy smoochy!"

"Aaaaahhh Naruto!" Rin screams, instinctively pulling away from Gaara.

The redhead sighs.

"Caught you two naughty kids," Naruto jokes, making kissing faces.

"You're such an idiot," she mutters, embarrassment all over her face.

"Oh Gaara, kiss me," Naruto says in a high pitched voice, wrapping his hands around the redhead's neck.

He leans in, making kissing noises.

"Knock it off Naruto," Gaara says with a smile.

"Not until you kiss me first you sexy beast."

Gaara moves from side to side, evading Naruto's lips.

"Dude," he says with a laugh, "dude stop i-"

Gaara's eyes widen.

Naruto's eyes widen.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Rin screams.

Gaara pushes Naruto off him, spitting.

"Come on man," Naruto says bursting into a fit of laughter, "it wasn't that bad."

"I can't believe you just kissed Gaara!"

"Well, belive it! You're in for a treat sister, he's a damn good kisser."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Naruto! I'm going to kill you."

…

She pulls her knees up to her chest.

"Can't believe he got to kiss you," she mutters with a shiver.

Gaara quietly places a jacket over her shoulders before sitting down next to her.

When her head touches his shoulder, she feels him wrap his arm around her shoulder.

"It's nice out," Gaara says, his breath visible in the chilly air.

_Too bad it's stupid cold._

"Gaara…" she trails off, her eyes closing.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me something about you."

He says nothing for a while.

"I had no friends growing up…Before my family moved to Tokyo…Before dad's business even had a chance in hell of being recoginzed by any of the big Toyko businesses…Back in Osaka…I had no friends at all…It was just me and my family and even they didn't like me," he pauses, exhaling.

"Then one day, a few days after my 12th birthday, dad told us that we were moving. Temari and Kankuro were so excited. I was terrified. Osaka was all I knew. Osaka was where my mom and uncle were buried… I had no friends but Osaka was still home to me."

He falls silent.

"I don't know why I just told you that," he mutters. "It's just been on my mind."

She peers at him through the corners of her eyes.

"Have you been back to Osaka since you moved?"

"No…" his voice breaks.

"Do you miss it?"

"My mom is buried there. I never got to know her…She died giving birth to me...I cried a lot as a kid…Dad didn't like that. He said I was too soft so he would beat me. He blamed me for my mom's death; they all did: my brother, my sister; everyone."

"Guess we have something in common," she says smiling up at him.

"My mom was killed 6 years ago…My brother somehow managed to survive the whole ordeal but he came out very weak…I was sent away to the small fishing village Tomonoura a few days after the funeral to stay with a family friend while I went to school…My family would visit on the weekends but I didn't get to come back home until my 18th birthday last May. I came back and dad had a new family…" Her shoulders tense.

"But I love my sister and brothers…Mai and I grew up together…Dad had had an affair with her mom, early on in his marriage to my mom, before I was born. Mom treated her like she was hers. She was always kind to Miyuki and Mai….." she trails, her head feeling lighter and lighter.

…

**Gaara**

Gaara places her down on her bed.

His lips lightly dance across her forehead.

Rin gazes up at him, her eyes heavy with sleep.

"Please don't leave," she mutters, half dazed, trying to sit up. "Stay the night Gaara."

_The night?_

Gaara slowly sits on the bed. Her arms wrap around his midsection from the back. Rin places her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," she whispers, her lips inches from his skin. They lightly touch his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

She lies back down, looking up at him expectantly.

Gaara hesitates before lying down next to her.

Rin pulls the blanket up over both their bodies.

She moves close to him until they are mere inches apart, wrapping her arms around his midsection.

After a few minutes, Gaara hears the steady sound of her breathing lightly.

_Why did I tell her that earlier?_

_…_

**Rin**

"Whenever you're ready Ms. Mori," the older ballet instuctor calls out.

_Moment of truth._

Rin walks on stage in nothing but her leotard, tights and pointe shoes.

The entire auditorium is silent.

Seated at the far back are the 3 judges. The rest of the dancers are scattered about the audience, with the prima sitting in the front row, her gaze locked in on Rin.

Her hair, which ordinarily would be in a bun, sits freely on her shoulders.

Smiling, Rin curtseys lightly.

She bows her head as the sound of Camille Saint-Saën's _Danse Macabre_ gradually comes it.

_Three four._

She jolts en point in sync with the violin's entrance.

_Okay…just like I practiced._

Rin closes her eyes as the music surrounds her.

She speeds up, her entire body in sync with the music and relaxes into the slower parts.

_Here it is._

Rin finishes off and curtseys to a silent room. She opens her eyes. The judges and other dancers are staring at her, wide eyed.

_I messed up?_

Her eyes dart about the room, lading on the prima.

The older woman stares at her for a bit before smiling. Standing up, she begins to clap.

Slowly, the other dancers stand up and begin to clap until the room is filled with thunderous applause.

…

"Rin," she hears an unfamiliar voice call out from behind her.

Turning, she comes face to face with the prima. She's at least 6 inches taller than Rin and is incredibly slender. Her long, straight, dark hair hangs freely down her back. She's pale, with the same eye colour as Yoruichi-an electric blue.

She smiles again, a few wrinkles appearing on either side of her lips and eyes.

"That's your name right?" she asks kindly.

"Ahhh y-yes it is ma'am," Rin stammers with a curtsey, "It's a great honour to finally meet you."

The prima laughs, "Relax…Call me Sayuri…You seem like you're about to head off. Can we walk and talk?"

Rin nods, unable to speak.

…

"Naruto?" Rin calls out, walking into the apartment.

Voices float from the living room.

_Who's Gaara talking to?_

Rin walks into the area just as Gaara and the guest are standing up and shaking hands.

"I'm eager to begin working with you Gaara," the man says.

"Likewise," Gaara replies.

"I'll be in contact then," he says, turning to walk away.

"Oh," Rin says, recognizing the man.

_Haru Mera. What's he doing here?_

"Well, who is this little doll?" He asks with a smile.

Rin can't help but smile back. "Mori…Rin Mori she says," extending her hand out for him to take. "It's a pleasure to meet you sir," she says with a slight giggle.

He takes it, his face still illuminated by a smile.

"So charming too," he glances over his shoulder at Gaara. "Who might this girl be…A friend?" he asks suggestively.

Gaara's face flames up.

He makes eye contact with Rin briefly before answering, "No."

Rin feels her heart sink.

"My girlfriend," he says, looking away from her, his fingers running through his curls.

_Girlfriend?!_

"You're a lucky man Gaara, she's quite the charming beauty," he looks at Rin. "And you my dear, are lucky as well. Every atom in that man's being is dedicated to his craft…" he goes quiet. "Can I have a word with you in private?" he whispers so only Rin can hear.

Rin smiles sheepishly and nods.

…

**Gaara**

"Are you going to move to Osaka?" Rin asks, casually lying down on his bed.

He tenses.

_He told her?_

His eyes are fixed on his canvas.

Gaara says nothing.

"Helllooooo…Earth to Gaara?"

He remains silent.

"Look, I'm not here to stop you…He wants you to study under him right? But that requires that you move to Osaka… you should do it Gaara."

He finally turns to look at her. Rin smiles at him.

"It's a great opportunity Gaara…You should take advantage of it."

"Rin," he sighs, "I—I don't know yet. He gave me until summer to decide."

She quietly stands and walks over to where he's seated in front of the canvas.

Gaara glances at her through the corners of his eyes.

Humming, she leans over and places a kiss on his cheek.

He feels her arms wrap around him. Rin nozzles his neck, still humming.

…

**Rin**

Rubbing her hands together, Rin quietly walks the short distance from Gaara's car to the entrance of the Yakiniku restaurant.

_It's been forever._

She feels Gaara take her hand in his as they walk into the restaurant.

She glances at him through the corners of her eyes and smiles.

He gives her a small smile back.

"Nice of you guys to finally show up," Naruto says lightly as the pair walks to the table.

Rin grins at him, "Had to find my beanie," she says, removing her black overcoat and lavender hat.

Her white curls puff out like a spray of water.

"Feels like forever since I've seen you and Hinata," she says, sitting down in the chair that Gaara pulled out for her.

When she is seated, he takes the seat beside her.

Hinata stares at her but says nothing.

Rin reaches across the table and places her hand atop Hinata's.

"I swear it's going to be okay," she says with a grin that lights up her entire face.

Hinata smiles despite herself.

"We can do that later," Naruto chimes, "Right now though, I'm starving! What do you guys want?" Naruto asks peering at the menu.

Rin claps her hands together, a serious look on her face.

"Well," she starts, leaning in, "I think we should get the number 3 plan…22 items…plus," her voice cracks, "plus unlimited drinks!" she says, tears of joy streaming down her face.

Hinata begins to giggle. Naruto smiles at the sound of her laughter.

"Sounds like a plan," Gaara says.

…

**Gaara**

_Where the hell does she put it all?_

He watches Rin happily munching away on her 7th slice of Wagyu beef.

_It's been a while since I've eaten at a place like this._

Chewing on a piece of cow tongue, he dips the gizzard into the spicy sauce.

Rin says something that causes Hinata and Naruto to erupt into a fit of laughter.

She turns to him expectantly but pulls a face when he doesn't laugh.

"Sorry, I was thinking about something," Gaara murmurs before biting into the gizzard.

"When did it become official?" Hinata asks, a bit more relaxed than she had been when they first came in.

Gaara's face flushes.

Rin takes a sip of her sake.

"Let me tell you how it all happened," she says, gesturing dramatically.

"Please don't…" Gaara murmurs.

Rin turns to him, a mischievous look on her face.

"You guys may not know, but Gaara over here is a real Romeo," she says, stroking his arm.

"Knock it off," he mutters, embarrassed, swatting her arm away.

"Yeah, I caught them trying to kiss in the kitchen," Naruto says, to Hinata's delight.

Rin drops her head, embarrassed.

She quietly puts another slice of beef on the grill.

Naruto clears his throat, "Ummm…so Hinata and I are going to tell her father…We don't know what to expect though."

Rin takes a sip of her sake before speaking, "What will you do when he asks to get rid of it or be disowned?" she asks, a serious look on her face.

Naruto's face blanches, "he won't…what makes you think that?"

"He will…if there's one thing I know well is men like him….he's like my dad…they're at the top of society…." She drinks the rest of her sake, "they would never allow something like this to ruin their names or social standing," she says.

Gaara notices something odd.

_She looks really sad._

He watches as she pours herself another glass of sake.

_How many has she had?_

"I really hate to be the bearer of bad news Hinata, but you're going to have to figure out what you will do when the moment is right. Will you kill your child and remain the obedient little heiress you were raised to be, or will you keep your child and lose everything?"

Hinata stares at her quietly.

Humming, Rin removes the beef from the grill, placing it on her plate.

"What would you do Rin?" Naruto asks.

"Me?" she looks up at him, her eyes closed, a smile on her face as she bites into the meat.

"Yes you," he slams his fist on the table, "answer the question."

Rin bursts into a fit of laughter, "Of course I would keep my child. I don't give a rat's ass about my dad or his stupid social standing…But that's just me," she says with a shrug.


	11. Nineteenth

**Chapter 11: Nineteenth**

**Gaara**

He is jolted up in bed. His hair, damp with sweat, sticks to the nape of his neck and his forehead.

_Did I fall asleep?_

Reaching into his nightstand, he pulls out his phone to check the time.

19th January…2:47 am.

_Damnit._

Gaara covers his face with his hands.

He feels the bed move. Gaara freezes, fear paralyzing him.

_No…no, no, no!_

He begins to panic.

_What is she doing here?_

He quickly gets out of bed, taking his phone with him.

Without looking back, Gaara walks out of his room, quietly closing the door behind him.

The sound of mumbling floats out from the kitchen.

Gaara hesitates before shuffling toward the kitchen, stopping at the entrance.

"I promise it'll be okay Hinata," Naruto mumbles weakly, stroking her hair.

Hinata's head is buried in his chest. Her entire body is shaking.

"Please don't cry," he says, sounding on the verge of tears himself.

He quietly walks backward until he reaches his room door.

Careful not to make any noise, he slowly opens the door and walks into the darkened room.

_Where did she go?_

The spot where Rin was sleeping is empty.

Gaara notices light underneath the bathroom door and is at the door within moments.

He pauses at the slightly ajar door.

Leaning against the toilet, Rin gasps for air.

After a few moments, she gets to her feet and walks over to the sink, turning on the faucet.

Cupping her hand, she fills it with water and shakenly lifts it to her mouth.

She spits out and braces herself against either side of the sink.

_Is she okay?_

She suddenly looks in the mirror, her eyes locking with his widening eyes.

He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. There is a strange look on his face.

_Shit._

Gaara slowly takes a step back.

Dropping her head, she turns off the faucet.

He turns around and heads back to the bed, slipping under the sheets. After a few minutes, he feels her get in beside him.

"Are you alright?" he finally asks.

"…Yeah…I'm fine…Think I had a bit too much to drink."

_A bit too much?_

That's when it all comes back to him: Rin had continued to drink all throughout the evening, eating less and less. Naruto and Hinata had gone off to her place after dinner. The ride back to the apartment was a very quiet one. It wasn't until they got back that Gaara discovered that Rin had passed out in the backseat. He had managed to carry her up to the apartment and put her in his bed where he distinctly remembers her mumbling. He couldn't make out any of what she was saying beside, "I'm sorry mommy." She had woken up several times, dazed. Oddly enough, he had found the sound of her muttering to be soothing.

_I must have fallen asleep at that time._

He lets out a sigh.

_Thank God, I thought I slept with her._

"…Gaara…" The sound of her voice fills his ears.

"Yeah?"

No response.

He glances at her.

Her eyes are closed and she's breathing lightly.

_She's mumbling again._

He feels his eyes getting heavy.

…

Head pounding, Gaara sits up in bed.

A bit of sunlight streams into his room from behind the curtains.

"Fell asleep again," he says, slowly getting out of bed.

_Where did she go?_

An aroma drifts into his room, filling his nostrils.

Gaara's stomach growls.

_I'm starving._

...

His mouth drops open at the sight before him.

On the kitchen table is a large bowl of steamed rice, miso soup in an equally large bowl, while a generous helping of natto is in a medium sized bowl, a small platter of nori with a side of soy sauce, a huge plate of tamagoyaki, broiled fish, and a small serving of tsukemono.

"Happy birthday!" Rin calls out from behind him, startling him.

_How did she remember? Naruto vaguely mentioned it last night._

"Hope you're hungry because there's a lot of food here," she says, taking his hand, leading him to the table.

"Rin...you didn't have to go through all this trouble," he says, staring at all of the food.

"It wasn't any trouble at all."

"I'm not hungry."

His stomach growls.

Rin giggles.

"You sound pretty hungry to me," she hands him a pair of chopsticks and a spoon.

He smiles at her sheepishly.

"Thanks…I haven't had a meal like this in forever…"

"Well," she says, heading to the sink, "eat up...I have a huge day planned," she turns to him, a mischievous look on her face, "and a surprise that'll have to wait till the end of the day."

Gaara gulps.

…

**Rin**

"All set?" she ask, walking into the living room.

Gaara stands up from the sofa.

"Yeah…Where are we going?"

Rin moves close to him, a few inches separating their bodies. She places her index finger on her lips.

"It's a surprise," she says with wink.

His cheeks instantly turn a bright red.

Giggling, she takes his hand in hers, leading them out of the apartment.

…

**Gaara**

His entire body tenses. He grabs on to her hand tightly.

Rin glances at him.

"What are we doing here?" he asks, not even hiding his apprehension.

"Mass," she says simply.

He quickly lets go of her hand, taking several steps back.

"Mass?" he asks, confused.

She nods shyly. "It's a thing…I used to do with my mom…Her family was Catholic…Father's family was originally but he gave that up and embraced Buddhism as a means of making our family seem more Japanese…But my mom would take me to Mass secretly…"

He stares at her for a long time.

"I-I'm sorry if I offended you…" she murmurs, gaze falling to the ground. "I just thought you might enjoy it..."

"It's fine…Just…" he sighs, "nothing…" he trails off.

"Are you alright?" she asks, concern in her voice.

He lets out a long sigh, running his hands through his hair. "Yes, I'm fine. Let's go in," he says with a small smile.

…

Gaara quietly watches Rin kneeling. A priest walks and stands a few feet away from her until she finishes and crosses herself. Standing, she turns to him, a smile on her face.

They exchange a few words.

_What is he saying?_

Gaara gets closer in an attempt to hear them better.

"Right this way then my daughter," he says, gesturing for Rin to follow him.

A terrible feeling washes over Gaara.

_No._

The sound of crying fills his head.

_No._

Gaara rushes after them. He watches as Rin gets into the confessional booth.

_No._

He tries to scream her name but he is paralyzed by fear. His entire body begins to shake.

They flood him.

Like an inundated damn, the memories rush back to him.

_Please no._

The bells tolling.

The smile on the priest's face.

The clammy feeling of his skin.

The tears.

The pain.

_So much pain._

He grasps his head in pain.

_So much pain._

_Blood…My blood._

"Gaara?"

A weird sensation rushes over him.

"Gaara," Rin says more concerned, gently tugging on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Sorry…I have a slight headache," he manages to gasp out.

She stares at him but says nothing.

"Can we leave?" he asks, taking her hand.

Rin quietly nods.

…

"Which ride should we go on first?!" Rin asks excitedly, her eyes glittering.

_She's like a child._

Temari's words suddenly come to mind.

"She's right," he sighs as he watches Rin run excitedly from stall to stall.

"Gaara," she calls out, waving at him from a few feet away.

He can't help but smile.

Stuffing his hands in his pocket, he walks over to her.

"I'm so excited," she gushes, "I haven't been to an amusement park in forever…My m-" she gets a strange look on her face.

"My mom used to take me all the time," she says, the excitement gone from her voice.

He opens his mouth to speak.

"Ooooohhh, let's get on the Ferris wheel!" she suddenly says, pulling him toward the Ferris wheel.

_It's been a while for me too…The last time I went…_

He quickly shakes the thought from his mind.

_I'm with her now….Can't dwell on the past. Beside, that meant nothing at all to me._

"Gaara, come on!"

He snaps back to reality.

Rin eagerly waits for him to join her in the pod.

"Sorry, my mind was somewhere else," he says as he gets in with her.

The door closes behind them.

Rin sits quietly until the wheel begins to slowly move.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she says quietly, staring down at her hands.

He looks at her blankly.

"You seem to be really absorbed by your thoughts today…If you would rather go back, that's fine by me…"

He takes her hand in his.

Rin looks up at him

"No…I was just taken aback by the Mass thing earlier is all…I'm fine," he says with a smile.

She doesn't seem to believe him.

"Promise?" she pouts.

"I promise," he says, kissing her forehead, "There is nowhere else I would rather be right now."

Smiling, she leans against his chest.

…

"You didn't tell me about this!" Gaara says as he watches her slide her foot into the shoes.

"Duh, it's called a surprise for a reason. It'll be fun…Kinda like the amusement park."

"Rin…I-I can't…" Gaara says, staring at the ice.

"Of course you can silly, it's fun and easy."

"No, I really can't. I've never done this before."

"I'll teach you how…it's really simple," she says, tying the final knot on her lace.

She stands up, hands on her hips, and watches a hesitant Gaara put on his ice skates.

She outstretches her hands for him to take.

Standing up, Gaara begins to slide.

Panic washes over his face.

"Quit moving," she says, trying to hold in a giggle, "you look like a fawn trying to learn how to walk."

Gaara blushes. "This is a bad idea Rin…I would rather not."

"Nonsense," she says, taking his hands as she slowly moves onto the ice.

Gaara tenses.

"I would rather not," he repeats, using his weight to keep her from moving.

"Oh, come on Gaara."

He tries to slowly move backward.

Rin tightens her grip on his hand.

"I don't want to do this," he says, struggling to free his hand.

"Just try it!"

"No," he pulls back a bit too hard, causing him to fall backward.

Rin bursts into a fit of laughter.

"I'm done here!" he barks at her, his cheeks beet red.

Gaara slowly begins to crawl toward the exit.

"Oh no you don't!" He hears her voice and glances backward to see her skating toward him at top speed.

_Shit._

"Stay away Rin," he hisses, a couple of feet away from his freedom.

"Never!"

His eyes widen. She leaps into the air.

"I got you now!"

"Rin stooooppppp!"

…

"I can crawl by myself…I don't need you on my back crawling with me."

Arms wrapped tightly around his midsection, she drags him back onto the rink.

"Nah uh. You might try and run away again," she says, cheerfully guiding them.

He gently shakes her until she gets up.

"Here," she says, extending her hand.

Gaara takes it.

"Okay…it's just like walking…"

_That sounds easy._

"Except it's not…because you're on ice…on a thin pair of blades….You know, scratch what I just said. It is nothing like walking."

_So much for that._

"Hold on tightly."

Gaara feels himself begin to move slowly.

"This isn't so bad," he says quietly.

She glances at him briefly.

"Grab on to my waist," she says.

"What?"

"I'm about to speed up. Grab on."

He hesitates before wrapping his arms around her waist tightly.

His heart drops into his stomach as she begins to go around the rink, faster each time.

"This isn't necessary…I feel light headed."

They stop. Gaara presses his cheek against her neck.

He can feel his heart beating against her back.

The sweet scent of lavender drifts from her hair, filling his nostrils; intoxicating him.

Gaara places a soft kiss on her neck.

**_Take her. She's yours._ **

They stand like that for a while longer.

Finally, Rin clears her throat.

"You um, you should try going at it alone," she says, turning to face him, her face flushed.

Slowly, she moves his hands from her waist, holding them firmly in hers.

"Okay, on the count of 3, I'm going to let go…."

"I don't think this is a good…."

"3, 2, 1." She slowly glides backwards, leaving him standing there.

Gaara feels his legs start to shake, but he stabilizes himself.

Sighing, he slowly moves.

"Okay, that's a start," he mutters to himself.

"Follow me," she says, slowly gliding.

Gaara gulps.

_Here goes nothing._

He glides a few feet but feels himself about to fall so he stops.

"Don't think about it too hard Gaara, just do it."

_Right. Don't think too hard._

Closing his eyes, he feels himself begin to move.

Initially, there is some apprehension but after a few minutes, Gaara feels himself relax totally. His eyes close. A serenity surrounds him as he moves across the ice.

_This is pretty relaxing._

The sound of blades speeding toward him tear through the peace. His eyes instantly bolt open just in time to see a smiling Rin, arms outstretched, jump at him.

"That was amazing!" she squeals, crashing into him.

The pair falls down onto the ice, Rin atop him.

The redhead sits up but freezes.

His green eyes are staring directly into her grey eyes.

Their lips are mere inches apart.

_Her eyes are really beautiful._

Slowly, he lifts his hand to her face, gently rubbing his thumb against her smooth cheek.

A small smile plays on her lips.

He leans in to kiss her but she immediately throws her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

_So much for that._

"Ooooohhh Gaara! You were amazing!" She squeals.

Smiling, he wraps his hands around her waist, pulling her into a warm embrace.

…

"Wel-Oh Rin, Gaara…So nice to see you guys again!" Akane says with a huge grin.

"Hayate," She calls into the back room, "Come here, Hayate!"

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming woman," he mumbles walking out. "Well, well, well! Look who we have here!"

"Sit, sit," Akane says, gesturing toward the chairs.

Gaara and Rin remove their coats and hats, sitting down.

"And to what do we owe this honour?" Hayate asks.

Rin smiles, "it's Gaara's birthday..."

Akane smiles, clapping her hands, "we must celebrate!" She walks behind the counter, pulling out a bottle of sake and 4 cups.

She pours one for Gaara, herself, and Hayate.

"I'll have water," Rin says just as the woman is about to pour the fourth cup.

"You... Have water?"

Rin nods quietly.

"I got really sick last night," she mutters.

Akane makes a clucking sound. "How many times have we warned you?" She chides. "What would your mother say Rin?" She fills the glass with water, "What kind of example are you setting for Ryuu?" Her voice softens, "You can't keep drinking all your problems away…"

Rin drops her head.

"That's enough Akane... Now, what will you guys like to eat?"

...

"More snow!" She squeals as they step out of the shop.

Tossing her head back, lifts her tongue into the air.

Giggling, she begins to run about, capturing the snow on her tongue.

_What was Akane talking about? What did she mean by that?_

Gaara catches up to her and causally slides his hand over hers.

Rin glances at him, a small smile appearing on her lips.

"You did pretty well for someone who thought he was going to die," she says playfully.

"I counted 3 separate occasions where you tried to kill me."

"I recall no such things."

Her eyes widen.

"Put me down!" She screams as he lifts and tosses her over his shoulder.

She tries, in vain, to wriggle out of his grasp.

Gaara suddenly stops moving.

"Well…what do we have here? Why, it's a fresh pile of snow," he almost whispers.

"Gaara…don't you dare…"

"I do remember you saying you wanted me to put you down, right?"

"Gaara…."

A shrill scream fills the winter air.

"I'm going to kill you!"

She tries to get up but Gaara gently pushes her forehead back, causing her to fall back into the pile of snow.

"You're going to have to try a bit har-"

Plop.

A snowball lands directly on his face.

"What a cheap sho-"

Plop.

Sighing, he wipes the snow off his face.

"Don't you have anything else to say?" she asks smugly, playing with the snow in front of her.

His head drops.

She notices his mouth move but can't make out what he says.

"Huh?"

"I said," he bends down, scooping a large handful of snow before straightening back up, "run."

Her eyes widen. She is quickly on her feet.

His head jolts upwards. A sly grin appears on his face.

She tears off running.

"Ha! You're going to have to try a bit harder to cat-"

Her eyes widen.

Plop.

The snowball hits her directly on the back of the head.

She slips and falls onto her knees.

Her eyes close at the sound of approaching footsteps behind her.

Rin slowly raises her hands into the air.

"Uncle. You got me. Good jo-"

Plop, plop, plop.

Gaara throws 3 consecutive snowballs at the back of her head.

She falls face-first into the snow.

"Why," she moans, rolling onto her back.

Satisfied, he bends down beside her face.

"Looks like I win," he whispers near her ear.

"Hmmm," she smiles. "You know," she whispers sensually, "As the winner, you should get a kiss."

Gaara tenses. His heart begins to beat faster.

She grabs the front of his jacket, pulling him closer to her.

Gaara braces himself on either side of her with his arms.

"Rin," he gulps.

She slowly moves her face to his. Their lips are about to touch when Gaara feels his entire face go cold.

"Victory is mine!" she yells, immediately on her feet, pinning him to the ground.

"How's the snow taste?" She grins. "Better question: How does defeat taste?"

…

"I'm exhausted," Gaara breathes, collapsing onto the sofa.

Rin quietly takes off her coat, hat and gloves.

"Rin…"

She walks closer to him, sitting on the floor in front of him.

"Gaara…" she whispers, slowly running her fingers through his curls.

He reaches up and touches her hand.

"Rin, what was all that about earlier….in the shop with Akane."

Her eyes widen. She gives him a sad smile.

"I…" she slowly touches his cheek, "I have…a problem," her head drops.

"Problem…?"

"Yeah…" she lets out a sigh, "I drink a lot…"

He tenses.

"When your mom is addicted to heroin you find ways to escape..." she looks up at him and smiles, tears in her eyes, "Alcohol just so happened to be my escape…I guess, the same can be said about my mom…Heroin was her escape…from my dad and his lies and infidelities… But it ruined everything…It ruined her and my brother," she seems to hesitate, "Ryuu…my brother was born addicted to it…"

_Heroin._

He feels his entire body go cold.

_I can't let her find out….She won't like me anymore if she does._

"But Akane's right...Ryuu needs me…I should probably stop…" she mutters.

A loud ringing fills his ears.

Gaara abruptly stands up.

"I-I need to shower," he mutters, quickly walking to his room.

…

Gaara stares at the needle.

"Damnit….why today of all days," he mutters.

_I can't do it._

Gaara angrily tosses the needle in the trash.

**_Relax you idiot._ **

Gaara sighs. "I do need to relax." He slowly peels the clothes off his body, walking into the bathroom.

…

**Rin**

_Geez….what's taking him so long._

She gets up and heads toward Gaara's door.

She is about to knock when the door suddenly opens.

"Aaah," Rin falls backward.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," the redhead says, giving her his hand to take.

Rin stares from his hand to his bare chest.

His porcelain torso is slim and toned. The muscles on him are well defined, but lean. Droplets of water caress every crevice on his body.

She continues to stare.

"Rin?"

She looks up at his face. His dark rimmed, green eyes look confused. His fiery red hair curls hug his head, a few longer strands kissing his forehead and the nape of his neck.

Rin feels her entire body growing warm.

_He's so….handsome._

She lets out a squeal, getting to her feet without his assistance.

"Huh?"

_So very handsome!_

She takes a few step back away from him.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Don't come any closer!" she screams as her nose begins to bleed.

He takes a couple more steps toward her.

Rin continues to walk backward until she feels something hard against her back.

Gaara smiles, closing the distance between them.

He places his hand on either side of the wall, trapping her in between.

She looks up at him, her entire body aflame.

He has a devilish grin on his face.

She feels herself melt.

"You've been teasing me all day…But I finally have you," he breathes, leaning in to kiss her.

Rin gently places her index finger on his lips.

"W-wait…Gaara," she stutters, clearly flustered. "I almost forgot your surprise."

Gaara lets out a sigh.

She quickly reaches in her pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper.

He moves his hand from the wall, taking the paper and reading it.

He is quiet for a very long time. He finally looks up at her from the paper.

"Why…"

Gaara stares back at the sheet of paper. He looks back at Rin.

She smiles at him, dimples appearing in her cheeks. "When…when I spoke to Mr. Mera… He told me that you had told him you wouldn't be coming to Osaka to study with him…Said you wanted to stay in Tokyo… At first, I wanted to be selfish and agree with you…But, Mr. Mera is right: you have a gift…Who am I to stand in the way of that?" she pauses, exhaling, "That letter…I was offered the principal role with the ballet…the one thing I've been working so hard for…but…"

"But you declined," he cuts in.

"Yeah," she says, still smiling.

"Why?"

She doesn't hesitate. "Because Gaara…you mean a lot to me… Three years. That's how long Mr. Mera said you would be studying under him…I don't want to lose you…Even if it means not realizing my dreams…I-I want it more than anything…"

His eyes widen.

"To go to Osaka with you…To be there for you."

Clutching the letters tightly, he braces himself on either side of the wall.

"Rin," he murmurs, moving his face closer to hers.

Time itself seems to freeze as his lips touch hers.

At once, all her hesitations vanish. Rin closes her eyes and allows herself to get lost in the kiss.

It's a soft, delicate dance, this kiss of theirs; nothing heated.

Rin feels the smooth, hard, texture of the wall against her back and the firmness of Gaara's body against hers. Neither one of them wants to release, for fear of completely losing the frail creature that is their kiss. Their lips never fully make contact; each fearing that the true essence of the act would be lost.

After what feels like an eternity, Gaara slowly pulls back.

Rin opens her eyes, staring at him.

That same look she had gotten a glimpse of last night is in his eyes once more. Instead of immediately leaving, it stays this time.

His usually pale face is flushed and tears seem to be gathering in his eyes; his entire body is shaking.

Rin slowly brings her small hand up to his face, caressing his jaw slowly.

He opens his mouth to say something but no words come out. Instead, a tear slowly drifts down his face before running down her arm.

His arms, braced on either side of her, wrap around her body; pulling her petite figure to his body… Gaara buries his face in her hair; clutching her tightly.

"Rin…"


	12. Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a bit of citrus in it so if you don't care for lemons or limes, I suggest you just skip it.

**Chapter 12: Summer**

**Gaara**

His hands lightly brush over the blank canvas.

He hears a knock at the door.

"Come in."

Still staring at the canvas, he feels a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders.

Gaara leans his head backward and looks up.

"All set?" Rin asks, a smile on her face.

"Yeah," he mumbles, standing up. "I have to admit, I'm pretty nervous."

She giggles and pecks him lightly on the lips.

"Don't be…you're just meeting my family. It's not like it's some job interview."

"Might as well be."

…

Gaara squirms in his seat.

"I'm sorry, my husband is always late," comes a familiar voice behind him.

Miyuki Mori walks into the parlour. She glances at Rin briefly before sitting down on the loveseat.

"It's fine," Gaara manages to stutter.

Rin places her left hand on his lap, a small smile on her face. His right hand weakly closes around it. Gaara returns the smile.

The sound of laughter drifts into the hall.

"Sorry I'm late!" booms Noru. He pauses in the doorway, his eyes travelling around the hall before resting on Gaara.

"Ah…You're Rasa's kid…To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Gaara opens his mouth to speak but Rin cuts in, "Father," she says, not trying to hide her impatience, "I told you there was someone I wanted you and Miyuki to meet."

Noru stares at her.

Gaara clears his throat, "Sir, your daughter and I have been dating for a little over 6 months now."

Noru inhales sharply, "Six months and you're just now bringing him home? What about Yoruichi?"

"What _about_ him dad? I told you I don't want to be with him," she mutters.

"You can't just leave someone you've been with for years as soon as you find someone new."

"You're one to talk."

…

The sound of birds chirping soothes Gaara's nervousness.

Summer was firmly rooted in their garden where beautiful flowers were in full bloom.

Gaara slowly lifts his glass of freshly squeezed juice to his mouth.

"So," Rasa starts, "when do you plan on marrying my daughter?"

Gaara nearly chokes.

_Marriage? We're 19._

He slowly opens his mouth, "I…"

Rasa bursts into a fit of laughter, "I'm only joking. At your age, all I wanted to do was have fun and date different girls," his voice takes on a softer tone, "Of course, her mother changed all that," he says, a nostalgic smile on his face.

Gaara notices his wife tense up at the mention of his first wife.

"So Gaara, what do you do?" she manages to asks, trying to sound polite.

"I…" Gaara hesitates; this was the worst part of conversations for him. When he told people that he did art, whatever they initially thought of him instantly went out of the window and was replaced with a look of disgust. "I do art."

Miyuki claps her hands delightedly, "Art! That's nice…What's your medium?"

"I tend to work with a variety of them, although my painting and pottery are much stronger than the rest…I'm going to Osaka to study and hopefully improve."

"Study where?" she asks, genuinely interested.

"Study with Mr. Haru Mera," Gaara replies.

He notices Noru look up at him, his bored expression replaced by one of interest, "Haru Mera? That's the premier, go-to guy for art. I commissioned him to make a portrait of my first wife; his work is stunning. My, you must have some skill if he agreed to take you on as a student."

He notices Rin smile.

"He's so talented, you guys have to see his work," she gushes.

Gaara blushes.

"I swear you've never seen anything like it…And he's just being modest. He's really good with all media."

Miyuki chuckles, "you're awfully chatty today Rin."

Rin smiles at her step-mom, "I was starting to miss home," she hesitates, "and you guys. Any news from the hospital?"

Miyuki beams, "We've missed you too Rin…and yeah, the doctors said Ryuu is getting much better."

"He should be able to make it home by his birthday," Noru adds.

"That's good…and Mai's wedding?"

"We have it planned for after your brother's birthday," Miyuki says.

Rin claps her hands, excitement all over her face.

Noru clears his throat. "So, Gaara… Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you engaged to the Minamotos' daughter?"

Gaara clears his throat, "Yes, my father and her father have discussed the possibility but I have rejected it."

"On what grounds?"

Gaara doesn't hesitate, "Lack of compatibility. She's not someone I could envision spending my life with."

Miyuki raises a brow, "Oh, and what kind of person _do_ you envision yourself with?"

Gaara glances at Rin before staring down at his hands, "Well…someone…who's compassionate…"

"That's it?" Noru asks, "You must be shitting me boy. You're a 19 year old man. I'm pretty sure you're looking for more than compassion."

"Looks fade," Gaara says.

"Look at me," Noru says.

Gaara looks up.

"Are you attracted to my daughter?"

His face turns red, "of course," he mutters.

"What do you like about her?"

"Everything."

"What do you like about her physically?"

His face grows hotter. "She has nice hair," he starts weakly, "And a really beautiful face."

"And her body?"

"Sir, I…"

"Are you sleeping with my daughter?"

"Dad!"

"I can't…"

"Do you want to sleep with my daughter?"

"Oh my goodness, dad please stop!"

"Look at me boy and answer…Are you sleeping with my daughter?"

Gaara exhales, "No sir."

"Do you want to sleep with my daughter?"

Gaara gulps, his porcelain skin now the color of a beet, "Sir, I don't think that's…"

"Yes or no Gaara."

He opens his mouth but feels Rin yank him by the hand, pulling him up from the seat.

"Stop that dad," she whines.

"Okay, okay….I'm sorry…Besides, his face gave him away already."

…

"When are you going to tell them?" Gaara mumbles, sitting down on the bed.

"Soon enough…Relax, we're here for 2 more days," she retorts, standing in front of him.

Gaara wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her onto his lap.

"I don't think I can deal with your dad for 2 more days."

Rin lets out a giggle.

Gaara can't help but smile at the sound of her laughter.

Even after hearing it so much, it still hadn't lost its magic.

He places a small kiss on her lips.

"Then it's off to Osaka," he whispers, their lips a few inches apart.

Rin closes her eyes.

"Are you sure you want to?" Gaara asks.

"Of course I am…You've asked me this question every day now Gaara, I'm not changing my mind."

He says nothing.

Rin presses her body against his and kisses him ever so lightly. He leans in for another one, but she pulls away, giggling.

"Tease," he mutters, their gazes locking.

She places her lips against his again and when she goes to pull back, Gaara wraps his hand tighter around her waist, deepening the kiss. Her body relaxes. Gaara feels the small of her back arch as her body melts against his.

Gaara abruptly stops kissing her. He lets go of her waist.

Rin stands up straight and looks at him. "What's wrong?"

"I…" He grasps her hand and begins to play with her fingers, "I don't want it to go any further," he says.

Rin gives him a strange look, "…Are you a virgin?" she asks after a long while.

Gaara's face turns a bright red, "Of course not," he mutters, looking away, "I just haven't done anything in over a year…" he says, clearly embarrassed.

Rin bursts into laughter, "Relax…I wasn't trying to do anything. I wouldn't know where to start. I'm a virgin…I guess," she says with a shrug.

"You guess?"

Rin gets a sly look on her face, "So, the last girl you slept with," she starts, totally ignoring his question, "was it good?"

Gaara shrugs. He honestly hadn't given much thought to it after it had happened. Come to think of it, he really didn't remember any of his passed sexual experiences.

His arms quickly wrap around her waist. Gaara pulls her down on his lap.

Rin squeals and bursts into a fit of giggles as he nuzzles her neck.

"Rin," he mutters into her neck.

"Hmm?"

He places a soft kiss on her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

Her hand grasps the back of his head. Gaara places another kiss on her neck.

"Rin," he says again, begging to kiss her neck more.

She runs her fingers through his hair, an action that causes his blood to boil.

Gaara looks up at her, capturing her lips with his.

His arms wrap tightly around her waist as he deepens the kiss.

Gaara slowly moves his lips to her neck.

A low moan escapes from her lips at the sensation of his mouth against the sensitive skin on her neck.

His lips travel further down onto her collar bone.

"Rin?" The sound of her sister's voice at the door startles them.

Rin instantly pulls away from Gaara and stands up.

"Yeah?" she calls out, a bit winded.

The door opens. The tall blonde quietly walks into the room. She has a small, wrapped box in her hands.

She takes one look at her sister's face and glances at Gaara sitting casually on the bed. A sly grin appears on her face.

"So, what are you kiddies up to in here?"

Rin shrugs, "Talking."

Mai's grin widens.

"Talking, eh?"

"Yes," Rin says a bit too quickly.

"Well," Mai starts, "I have some things that could aide with your 'talks'."

She hands the small box to her sister.

Rin stares at it blankly.

"Open it," Mai says eagerly, "both of you."

Rin hesitates before sitting down on the bed. Gaara watches her open the wrapped package.

He feels his entire face grow hot.

"You can thank me later!" Mai says, bursting into laughter.

Gaara lifts up the box and stares at it.

"What are you getting at?!" Rin asks, embarrassed.

"I heard your little chat with dad so I figured I could pitch in and help ease the process. Better safe than sorry."

Gaara continues to stare at the box of Okamoto condoms.

After a long while, he opens his mouth.

"These are too small," he says finally.

…

Gaara slowly removes his shirt and slides into bed next to Rin.

She wraps her arms around his bare chest, cuddling against him.

He puts his arms underneath his head, staring up at the ceiling.

"What's on your mind?" Rin asks, drawing circles on his chest with her index finger.

"Are you sure you want to? That's three years of your life that you aren't going to be getting back."

She says nothing for a long time.

"Rin?"

"Gaara, I keep telling you…"

"Yeah, I know but still…"

"Still what?" she asks, grasping the side of his face.

His eyes meet hers.

He lets out a sigh.

"You're overthinking this," she mutters, moving her lips to his.

Her lips gently press against his. Gaara moves his hands to her waist, pulling her against him.

He kisses her a bit harder, drawing a soft moan from her.

He feels a strange sensation wash over him at the sound of that. He deepens the kiss, their tongues brushing against each other's. His lips hungrily move to her neck.

"Gaara," she breathes.

His lips move further down, kissing her collar bone. Gaara pauses and gazes at her. Rin's eyes looked glazed.

"Do you?" He asks simply.

She quietly nods her head. Her eyes close as he sits up. He hovers over her, placing his thighs on either side of her. Gaara leans his head down, capturing her lips again.

His heart begins to race. Gaara begins to move slowly down her neck. His hands move to the front of her tank top, lightly brushing against her breasts.

There's a knock at the door.

"Shit," he mutters under his breath.

He quickly stands up.

The knock comes again.

"Hold up," Rin calls out, getting up from the bed.

The door opens anyway. In walks Yoruichi.

"I said hold up," Rin hisses, turning around.

She pulls a face.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asks sarcastically, staring at Gaara's bare chest.

"What do you want?"

He stares at her quietly for a long time.

"You haven't spoken to me in months and that's how you greet me?"

"Who let you onto the estate anyway?" she asks, not trying to hide her disdain.

"Dad did."

"I told _my_ father I wanted nothing to do with you."

"Don't be this way Rin, we're engaged," he lightly grasps her forearm.

"Let her go," Gaara says calmly.

Yoruichi glances at him.

"This has nothing to do with you."

"It does since it's my girlfriend you're touching. Let her go."

"Girlfriend? She's engaged to me," he spits, taking a step closer to Gaara.

The redhead and the dark haired man stand at the same height.

Gaara pushes him away lightly and pulls Rin to him, his hand possessively wrapped around her shoulder.

"I don't care what you had going on before or what you think you have going on now. She's with me," he says, his gaze locked with Yoruichi's electric blue gaze.

"Typical of you," Yoruichi says, looking at Rin, "spread your legs for any guy that ask-"

She slaps him; hard. The imprint of her hand is visible on his pale skin.

"So we're going to do that?"

"You should leave, seriously."

"At least talk to me," he pleads, "I haven't heard from you in months Rin."

"There's nothing to talk about," Rin says.

He stares at her before turning and walking back out.

Neither one of them says anything for about a minute.

Gaara finally lets out a sigh, taking her hand and leading her to the bed.

"You should sleep," he says gently.

She gives him a weak smile.

"You're amazing," she mutters, standing on her toes to place a small kiss on his lips.

His arms circle around her waist. He gazes at her.

"You really mean a lot to me," he says, his face turning red.

"How much?" she asks gently running her fingers across his bare chest.

His breath catches in his throat.

"Hmm?" she asks, leaning her face toward his.

Gaara tries to kiss her but she pulls back.

_Shit, she's teasing me again._

"So much," he whispers near her ear, nuzzling against her neck.

The scent of her hair drifts into his nostrils. Gaara softly kisses the side of her neck.

He smiles inwardly as she melts against him.

He uses the opportunity to capture her lips. He kisses her hard.

She presses against him and Gaara can feel the hardness of her nipples against his skin through her tank top. The sensation drives him crazy. He kisses her further down until he is at her collarbone. Breaking the kiss, his hands gently dance across the skin on her arm. He pulls down one of the straps on her tank top, kissing her shoulder. He briefly plays with her bra strap, admiring the black lace trim before moving to the other shoulder and lowering the strap, placing another kiss on her shoulder.

His hands trail down the length of her torso, stopping at the hem of her shirt. His eyes meet hers as he slowly lifts her tank top upward. She raises her hands so he can pull it over her head and remove it. Gaara tosses the shirt to the side. She presses against him, her lips instantly finding his. Gaara can feel her bra-clad breasts pressed up against his bare chest. He kisses downward, pausing to focus on her neck briefly before moving further down.

"Shit," he says hoarsely when he reaches her breasts.

Her black lace bra looks nicely against her full breasts.

Gaara kisses her cleavage.

Rin moans softly.

The red head begins to feel himself getting hard.

She lets out a squeal as he picks her up and carries her to the bed. Gaara gently places her down, hovering over her. Their eyes locked, Gaara pulls her pants off her body and tosses them on the floor. His hand glides over the smooth skin on her thighs. His fingers trail upward, brushing against her black, lace panties before he leans down, kissing her passionately.

Her hands move downward, slowly pulling his pants from his hips.

Gaara sits up and quickly sheds his bottoms.

This was the furthest they had ever gone.

He pauses to glance at her body sprawled out on the bed. Desire growing, leans back down and kisses her, his tongue entering her mouth.

He feels his penis growing against the fabric of his boxer briefs. His crotch presses against the thin material of her panties. Instinctively, his hips move, pressing his hardening penis against her lace-clad lips.

Rin breaks the kiss, letting out a gasp. Gaara's lips go to her neck.

She begins to moan softly.

"I want you so bad," he murmurs into her neck.

He hadn't ever felt this…weak before. Gaara had always been in control no matter who he was having sex with. Yet, he found himself almost melting in her arms.

His lips move downward to her full breast.

_They look so good in this bra._

He stops to cover them in soft kisses before moving further down. He kisses every inch of her body. Gaara leans back, spreading her thighs a bit apart. He places a soft kiss on the inside of her thigh.

He feels her entire body tense up.

Gaara pauses.

He glances at her face: her eyes are closed shut and her face is scrunched up in pain.

"Rin," he says.

No response.

He moves back up, gazing at her face.

Gaara lightly shakes her. Her eyes fly open, a startled look in them.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

She begins to nod but instead shakes her head no, tears streaming down her face.

Sighing, Gaara rolls over on the bed and pulls her to him, hugging her tightly.

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

She shakes her head no.

"What happened?"

She says nothing.

"It's okay," he whispers into her hair. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

She buries her face in his chest, the tears silently streaming down her face. After a few minutes Gaara hears the sound of light breathing.

_She fell asleep._

…

"I hope you've found everything alright," Miyuki says pleasantly.

Gaara nods, "I did, thank you for having me again."

It was their last night with her parents.

Gaara sighs internally.

Rin had been acting weird lately.

Things had been strange between them this morning when they had woken up.

She had been avoiding him as best as she could, given the circumstances.

_I asked her if she wanted to and she told me yes…But she ended up crying. What did I do wrong?_

"Mama, can we have milk?"

Gaara turns in his chair as a pair of tow-headed twins in footie pajamas walk into the dining hall holding hands.

Miyuki stands up.

"Minori, why did you wake your brother up?" she scolds lightly.

"Noru-chan didn't want to be left alone," he says.

Miyuki turns to the tired looking twin.

He nods, "Nori-chan said he will find milk," he says quietly.

He hears Rin suppress a laugh.

"Excuse me for a moment," Miyuki says, picking up the twins and walking out of the dining room.

"Hello kiddies."

Gaara feels dread wash over him at the sound of the familiar voice.

Mai walks into the dining hall holding hands with a blond-haired guy. He looks to be about her age.

"I don't think you guys have met, but Haru, this is Gaara. He's Rinny's lover—er, I mean boyfriend."

Gaara stands up.

The man chuckles and extends his hand.

Gaara takes it.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Suzuyama Haru….Mai and I are engaged," he says with a bright smile.

"Nice to meet you too…Congratulations," Gaara says.

Haru smiles before turning to Rin.

"You sure do change them quickly," he jokes.

Rin rolls her eyes, "I was with the same guy for 3 years."

_Three years? She never told me that._

...

A butler walks around the table, pouring wine into their glasses. Gaara notices Rin shake her head no.

She hadn't had a drink since that night with Naruto and Hinata.

Her father seemed to notice too.

"Since when do you say no to a drink?" he jokes.

Rin glances at him briefly.

"Dad, I had something I needed to tell you…" she starts nervously.

The entire table falls silent as everyone looks at her.

She seems to hesitate.

"Are you…Are you guys expecting a child?" Miyuki asks slowly.

Gaara's face turns a bright red.

"No!" Rin squeaks, obviously embarrassed.

"Thank goodness," Noru sighs, "I don't think I can deal with another child…My hands are already full with Noru and Nori…And Ryuu…" he stops, a sad look on his face.

Gaara notices something flash across Rin's face.

She clears her throat, "I'm moving to Osaka."

Her dad chokes on his wine.

Miyuki gently rubs his back.

"What are you saying Rin?" she asks gently. "How can you just move to Osaka? I thought you were the principal for the ballet?"

Rin scrunches up her face, "No. I told them I didn't want the position. They said they would keep the current principal until I changed my mind. That was _five_ months ago Miyuki."

"What are you going to do in Osaka? How will you support yourself?" Noru finally asks.

"Same way I've been supporting myself? I'll find some company and join them."

"And your brother? You're just going to abandon him?"

An awkward silence overtakes everyone.

"Don't do that," Rin says quietly.

"Don't speak to me that way. You have a responsibility to your brother and you put your own needs before him. You need to learn to think about others beyond yourse-"

Rin slams her hand on the table, abruptly standing up, "You're one to talk. You had a responsibility toward me and my mother and you abandoned us and now you want to play happy family," her voice breaks.

"Rin," Noru starts, his voice softening.

"No! You don't get to talk about selfishness when you've spent your entire life pursuing your own desires. He's your son, in case you've forgotten," her gaze drops to the floor, "I know you have a new family and everything now, but," she looks up at her father, tears in her eyes, "but Ryuu and I are still your children."

"Rin," Mai says, reaching for her sister.

Rin shrugs away.

"I'm going to bed now. I didn't tell you this to get your opinion. I'm still going to Osaka whether you like it or not. I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

"Rin, sweetheart, let's talk about this…" Noru starts but she walks out of the parlor.

…

Gaara quietly walks into the room.

He had had to endure dinner with her loud father all by himself.

Gaara thought the man was friendly enough….Maybe a bit too friendly.

_Why's it dark?_

"Rin?" he calls out, flickering on the lights. Her bed is still made; she obviously hadn't been in it.

Something catches his eyes.

It's the blue picture frame from the apartment. He quickly walks over to her desk. Gaara stares at the picture of her little brother.

_Strange how they share a mom but he looks more like the other ones._

He then sees the other picture sticking out in the back. He slowly removes it, unfolding the picture.

There's a picture of a woman and a dark haired child. It takes Gaara a long time to realise it was Rin.

_I thought her hair was white naturally?_

With the exception of her darker skin and her hair, the woman is the spitting image of Rin.

"What are you doing?" she asks in a voice he had never heard her use before.

Gaara turns around, surprised.

She instantly dashes across the room and grabs the picture from his hand.

Gaara notices that her hands are shaking.

"You okay?" he asks, concerned.

"You're…you're not supposed to touch it," she says in a shaky voice.

"Rin," he touches her shoulder but she shrugs away from him.

"You should leave."

Gaara looks confused, "Leave to where? I'm in your house. We're going to Osaka tomorrow. Where can I possibly go right now?"

"Anywhere! Just…" she looks up at him, tears in her eyes, "just get away from me, okay?!"

"Rin…"

Gaara hesitates…He slowly wraps his arms around her she struggles for a while before giving in. Her body begins to shake.

"Please tell me what's wrong," he pleads.

She says nothing.

"Rin, you've been acting really strange since we got here."

"I miss her so much," she finally manages to say through her tears. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss her…It's so much harder being home…My dad is so happy and getting on with his life but I can't because she's always on my mind…every single day Gaara…It's my fault she's gone…I miss my mom so much…"


	13. Mommy Dearest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is told from Rin’s perspective and alternates between her present day narrations and her flashbacks. (Side note: If you are interested, my friend and I have a Facebook page where you can post links to your Anime/Manga fanfics. Just search Anime/Manga Fanfiction.)

** Chapter 13: Mommy Dearest **

****

_My mom was on heroin for as long as I can remember. It seemed that the older I got, the more pronounced her addiction. It started off as something she did to cope with my dad never being around; to cope with the fact that the man she had married had a child with another woman, while she couldn’t manage to get pregnant, and transformed into something that left a path of destruction in its wake._

_…_

**Rin's eyes flutter open. A large pair of smiling, milky brown eyes is staring down at her. She raises her arms to be picked up.**

**"How did my princess sleep?" the woman asks, placing a kiss on Rin's flushed cheeks.**

**Rin smiles, running her fingers through the woman's thick hair; pulled back into a ponytail. Rin is placed on the floor. "Mommy, why isn't my hair like yours?" Rin asks, taking hold of her mother's hand.**

**Her brown skin looks pale against the deep mahogany of her mother's skin.**

**"You have a mixture of my hair and your daddy's hair," replies her mother.**

**Rin furrows her brows, thinking.**

**"Where's daddy?"**

**"He's in the kitchen with your sister."**

**Rin's face lights up. "Mai is here?!" she squeals excitedly.**

**Her mother smiles sadly as she watches her daughter run into the kitchen.**

**...**

**"Daddy!" Rin screams as she enters the kitchen.**

**The tall man that stands beside the island picks her up, spinning her around.**

**"Ringo...how did you sleep?!" he asks.**

**Rin only nods, mesmerized by her stunning father.**

**"Where's your mother?" he asks, cutting into her thoughts.**

**His eyes follow her pudgy finger to the doorway.**

**"Aaah, Ryoko," he says, smiling sweetly.**

**Ryoko smiles stiffly.**

**Noru walks over to her, placing a small kiss on her lips.**

**“Mommy, daddy, can we go see the stars later on tonight?” Rin asks excitedly, playing with her father’s hair.**

**“Oh, take me too!!!” chimes a high-pitched voice.**

**Rin frowns, “No Mai! It’s just me, mommy and daddy, you can’t come!”**

**Noru puts her down, “Rin, go** **apologise to your sister.”**

**“For what?” she whines.**

**“Being mean.”**

**Pouting, she walks over to the blonde haired, blue eyed girl sitting at the table. Rin can’t help but think how pretty her older sister is. ‘I hope I look like her when I turn 8.’**

**“Mai-oneesan,” she says, staring down at the floor, “I’m sorry for being mean.”**

**Mai hops down from the chair. She quietly wraps her arms around her sister. “It’s okay Rinny…”**

**“Where’s your mommy Mai?”**

**“She’s at home…She couldn’t come because she’s tired,” she places a slender finger to her mouth, gesturing for her sister to lean in, “Mommy said to keep it a secret, but she told me that she’s pregnant!!!” Mai says excitedly.**

**Being a child, what she though was a whisper was actually spoken at a pretty loud volume.**

**Rin hears a slap and turns around quickly. Her father is grasping his face, reaching out to her mother.**

**“You said you wouldn’t Noru!” her mother screams, her body beginning to shake.**

**“Ryoko, sweetheart, please, let’s just talk about this,” Noru says in a soothing voice. He reaches for her but gets slapped again.**

**“Talk about what?! You said you wouldn’t! Don’t touch me!!!”**

**“Mommy,” Rin says quietly.**

**Noru reaches for Ryoko again but once again, gets slapped.**

**“I said don’t touch me Noru!”**

**“Calm down! Let’s just talk,” he pulls her into a tight embrace.**

**She begins to struggle, “Let me go!” she screams, trying to pull out of his embrace.**

**“Ryoko,” he says over and over, getting less and less patient each time he says it. His eyes become cloudy. “Calm down!” His hand flies, knocking the small woman down with a single punch. “I said calm down,” he says quietly. He takes a step closer to her. She covers her face with her hands, blood slipping through her fingers.**

**“Mommy!!!” Rin screams, running to her mother. She gets in front of her father, arms outstretched. “Leave her alone!” she screams, tears running down her face.**

**Rin feels her mother’s hand touch her shoulder gently.**

**“Rin,” she says softly, “please go to your room.”**

**“No,” she says stomping her foot. She turns around and wraps her arms around her mom’s neck, crying uncontrollably. “Don’t hurt her,” she chokes through the tears.**

**Wincing, she manages to stand up, carrying the still crying child. “Sssh,” she says, stroking the back of her head gently, “Mommy’s fine,” she whispers.**

**Rin continues to cry.**

**“Ryoko,” Noru starts, the edge gone from his voice, “I didn’t mean….please, can we just talk?” he reaches for her again.**

**“Don’t touch me Noru,” she hisses, pushing him back. “I want you out. Get your stuff and get out. Don’t take Mai anywhere. She’s staying with me. When you see your whore, tell her when she’s done selling her body to other men, she should at least come and check on her daughter.”**

**…**

**_A few days after that, Miyuki suffered a miscarriage, Mai went back home, and my dad moved back in. Mai’s mom was a prostitute that my father made his secretary after she had gotten pregnant with his child. At that point, my mom and dad had only been married about a year but had suffered 3 miscarriages. Mai was 3 when my mom finally managed to give birth to me. My mom befriended Miyuki and all but raised Mai as her own, despite the pain of not being able to have a child prior to giving birth to me. She spent most of her time with us while her mom slept with my dad, as well as other men he didn’t know about._ **

**...**

_My mom was an amazing dancer. It had been her dream to dance with the Tokyo ballet since she was a young girl watching them on TV. At 16, she had been offered a scholarship to go and study in Russia but neither she, nor the older couple that raised her after her parents’ death, could afford to do so. They contacted her again when she was 19, but by then she had met my father, so she declined it to be with him. She did get back to dancing, but gave it up once more after I was born. The first time I saw her dance, I was about 3 or 4, and I was so transfixed by it all, that I begged her for days to teach me. Aside from dancing, my mom and I did everything together: she was my homeschool teacher, the woman who taught me how to cook, my confidant, my inspiration. She came from a Catholic family, so every Sunday, we would lie to my dad that we were going for a girl’s day out at the spa and head over to Mass. Once Mass was over, we would go do something fun, like go to an amusement park where she would buy me all the treats I wanted. My mother was my entire world. By the time I was 6, the same woman who had raised me so well was gone; replaced by someone who I barely recognized. My mom was sweet and gentle and caring…This new woman inhibiting her body was paranoid and violent._

_…_

**Rin pokes her head into her mother's bedroom. "Mommy, can we practice some more?"**

**Ryoko drops the syringe she was holding in her hand. "Damnit Rin close my door!" she screams, more scared than anything.**

**Closing the door, Rin bursts into tears. Why was her mommy always mean to her when she used her feel good medicine? She didn't know what it was _actually_ called but every time she watched her mother take the powder and heat it with a spoon before poking herself with a needle, she noticed that her mommy felt better after using it. Her daddy was almost always away, "cheating," on her mother. She knew this because every-time her parents got into an argument, her mommy used the word, always mentioning Mai and Ms. Miyuki.**

**…**

**_I spent most of my days alone. If Mai wasn’t over, I would have the entire house to myself to do whatever I pleased. I had no friends my age because I was homeschooled. The only kids I knew were the kids of some of dad’s employees, and Yoruichi Sato, the son of my dad’s business partner, Daisuke Sato. Daisuke Sato and my mom were good friends; I would later find out that he had been her lover before he introduced her to my dad and they got married. Despite her leaving him for my father, they remained good friends and he would frequently come over to our house to bring my mom things he called, “medicine.” The medicine turned out to be her beloved heroin._ **

**_…_ **

**"Baby, don't cry," comes a smooth voice, startling her.**

**She looks up at the smiling face of Mr. Satō, her friend Yoruichi's father. Rin liked Yoruichi; he was always nice to her. Mr. Satō always brought her mother some feel good medicine, and he always called Rin pretty, so he was okay too. She stops crying as he picks her up, kissing her cheeks.**

**"I bought a dress for you...let's go to your room and try it on."**

**She starts to say "no" but he gives her a look that freezes her.**

**...**

**"My, such a pretty girl! You look _just_ like your mother!" he says, eyes boring into her. "Do you ever get lonely being the only child in such a big house?" he asks, playing with one of her curls.**

**She tries to shrug out of his grasp. "Sometimes, if Mai isn't around…But when Yoru-chan comes over, things are fun,” she says, smiling proudly; huge dimples lighting up her face.**

**Mr. Satō gets a strange look on his face. He gently caresses her cheek. "You look just like Ryoko… Your mother and I used to be in love,” he trails.**

**Rin **crinkles her nose. "But my mommy and daddy love each other...they've been married for 10 years!"****

**He frowns. "Your mother could have had a good man, but she chose your father...” His voice takes on a new tone, “Take off your dress..." he says harshly.**

**Rin furrows her brows, shaking her head angrily. "N-no! Mommy says I cannot let any boy or men see me naked unless I'm older and married to h-"**

**She's cut off by his hand flying across her cheek. Her hand flies to her face, shielding it.**

**"Stop it!" she screams, tears streaming down her face.**

**He yanks at her dress roughly. The first few buttons fly everywhere as he pulls the dress down her waist.**

**"Stop it Mr. Satō!" she cries, wrapping her arms around her bare chest.**

**Turning away from him, she falls to the floor weeping. "Mommy, I'm sorry...I promise I'll be a good girl if you make it stop!"**

**She freezes when she feels his large hands run down her bare back.**

**"Stand up," he says sternly.**

**She shakes her head vigorously. "Please don't make me d-"**

**He yanks her up by her long curls.**

**"Do as I say, little bitch."**

**She opens her eyes and is met by a gun.**

**He presses it against her cheek.**

**Rin flinches when the cold steel touches her warm face.**

**"If you say _anything_ to _anyone,_ I'll kill your _entire_ family...do you understand me?"**

**She nods quickly, gulping.**

**His face softens. He drops her to the floor, shivering. Mr. Satō's gaze is on her scrawny, bare body as he fiddles with his belt. He roughly pushes her down on the floor. Struggling, she manages to kick him in the crotch.**

**"You little bitch!" he gasps, wrapping his hand around her throat.**

**He punches her across the face, sending a horrible feeling to it. The sensation seems almost bearable and minute compared to the feeling that engulfs her entire body. She feels a horrible, burning sensation in her lower body. The feeling quickly spreads to her entire body, numbing her. Rin feels herself getting lightheaded as everything goes dark.**

**...**

_The first time he raped me, I was 7. I passed out from the whole thing and woke up a few hours later in my bed, wearing the dress he had bought me. When my mom saw my bruised face and missing buttons, and asked what happened, I told her I had fallen down the stairs. She fixed the buttons. The maid who was supposed to be watching me was fired. I remember our family going out to a company dinner that evening and having all the adults comment on how nice the dress looked on me. He didn’t even look my way the entire evening. Around that time, the roots of my hair slowly began to turn white from the trauma. No one noticed. My dad continued on with his affairs, my mom fell harder into her addiction, and he continued to have his way with me, never being caught by anyone._

_I started to drink when I was 10. I cried out in pain when he would use me so he would give me a small bit of vodka or sake before he came to me, telling me it would make things easier for me. I hated the taste but I drank it anyway because it numbed me totally to what was happening to my body. I went from just drinking it because it made me numb to drinking it whenever I remember what had happened the previous day. If I woke from a nightmare, I drank. If my parents argued, I drank. If I remembered the sensation of his clammy hands across my skin, I drank to forget. When my mom yelled at me, I drank. At first it was nothing serious; a sip here and there. I felt myself slip into a dark place and increased the volume of what I drank to the point where I drank and vomited and passed out and woke up all alone in my room. Still, no one noticed. My parents didn’t seem to notice my odd hair color. My mom didn’t seem to notice my wanting to do my own laundry. My dad never seemed to notice his missing bottles of alcohol._

_Her_ _last year alive was the hardest for both of us. For me because my mom was completely gone. There was nothing I could do to bring her back to her old self. My family had fallen apart. I had to watch my mom struggle. For her, because she was pregnant and addicted to heroin. I was 11 when my mom announced to me that she and my father were expecting another child. Naturally, I was surprised because he was only home once a month._

_…_

**“Mommy are you okay?” Rin whispers, trying not to cry as she stares at her mother on the hospital bed. Her mom had told her that big girls didn’t cry so she wouldn’t cry. ‘If I want to be a good big sister to my baby brother, I have to be strong,’ she thinks weakly as she stares at her mother writhing in pain on the bed.**

**“We don’t know if the baby will make it,” a nurse says flatly to Noru. “We can’t risk her life by performing the C-section.”**

**“Save my son at whatever costs.”**

**“Rin,” comes her mother’s voice, drawing her attention away from what the nurse was saying to her father. The woman weakly grasps her daughter’s hand.**

**“Mommy, y-you’re going to be fine…The doctors will take care of you,” Rin says with a sad smile.**

**Ryoko shakes her head no. “Listen to me sweetheart, no matter what happens to me, promise you’ll be a good girl and take care of your brother okay?”**

**Rin nods, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. “I promise Mommy,” she says quietly.**

**Ryoko manages a smile. “That’s my girl,” she gently squeezes Rin’s hand.**

**Tears still falling, Rin places her head on her mother’s chest. The sound of her heartbeat, and the steady rhythm of her breathing soothes Rin’s nerves.**

**“I’ve failed you as a mother…I wish I could have been there more for you Rin…Remember when I first taught you to dance?” she manages a small chuckle. “It was like watching a fawn with two left feet try and dance… But you never once gave up and look how good you’ve gotten. I---” she exhales, “I’m sorry I missed your first recital. I want you to be the best you can at whatever makes you happy…Never take no for an answer, okay Rinny?” she says sweetly.**

**Rin looks up at her mom, smiling, but unable to speak for fear of bursting into tears.**

**“I love you,” Ryoko says, lifting the girl’s head and placing a kiss on her forehead, “please don’t ever forget that I loved you with everything I had…” she trails, her eyes closing.**

**“Mommy?” Rin whispers frantically.**

**She feels her mom squeeze her hand, calming her again.**

**“I love you too Mommy,” Rin says, burying her head in her mom’s chest again. She feels herself getting lightheaded, a feeling, warm as her mother’s hug, wrapping itself around her.**

**“Ryoko!!” the sound of her father’s voice shocks her back into reality.**

**“Sir please, there’s nothing we can do…We did what you asked us to,” a nurse says trying to force him out the door.**

**Rin looks up at her mother. She has a serene look on her face as she holds a small bundle in her arms. Struggling, she manages to lean down and place a small kiss on the crying baby’s forehead. “Ryuu…” she whispers, lying back down, her eyes slowly closing.**

**…**

_Those were the last words my mom uttered. She died shortly thereafter. I think it was at that moment that I realized just how fucked up it all was. How my dad was basically taking care of another family while his first one fell apart privately, but to the public, we seemingly had it all. How fucked up it was that my mom felt she had nothing left to live for, so she allowed heroin to consume her. How I was getting raped by a 30 something year old and felt there was no one I could tell so I began to drink to forget everything._

_But I also realized that my mom was gone forever and I would never be able to bring her back. Ryuu gave me hope._

_…_

**Dazed, Rin, clutching onto her nurse’s hand, walks into the nursery.**

**“Your baby brother is over here,” she says, her voice shaking.**

**They stop at a small, glass case. Inside, a small, pale bundle sleeps. “This is an incubator,” the nurse says softly, “he was born a bit early and sick so he’s going to have to stay here for a bit.”**

**Rin places her face against the glass. “Is he going to die like my mom?” she asks, her voice devoid of emotion.**

**The nurse makes a shocked sound, “N-no…he should survive,” she chokes out.**

**Rin feels something she hadn’t felt in a long while. Happiness? Relief?**

**“Can I see him better?” she asks, shyly gazing at the nurse.**

**The older woman smiles and lifts Rin up. “He’s so small,” she breathes.**

**“That’s because he’s premature…But if he gets the right stuff, then he can grow up to be strong and healthy…” she seems to hesitate, “but he might need special medicine…He was born with an addiction so…” she trails, never completing her sentence.**

**She notices that his entire body is shaking.**

**“Ryuu,” Rin whispers, placing her hand through one of the openings. She slowly moves her hand to his tiny face. She places two fingers on his cheeks. ‘So soft…I promise I’ll look after you.’**

**…**

_A month later, I found out I was pregnant. At the age of 12. I didn’t tell anyone. I hid it from my dad and from Daisuke. I stopped drinking. I learned to bind my stomach and breasts. I was skinny and initially didn’t gain much weight during my pregnancy. When I did get slightly larger, I wore baggy clothes, my breasts still bound. After a lot of begging on my part, my dad finally allowed me to go to school with other children. I joined every club possible and was rarely at home, making it harder for Daisuke to do what he pleased with me. Things were going well for me, until the day I got sick and Daisuke came to my house while everyone was out._

_…_

**Pulling the shirt over her head, Rin rubs her stomach.**

**“I can’t wait to hold you in my arms,” she says cheerfully, sitting on the edge of her bed. The sound of footsteps approaching her room takes her by surprise. Her dad wasn’t supposed to be home for another hour. The girl stands up quickly, heading to the bathroom to find her bandages. The door opens.**

**“Rin?”**

**Her blood freezes. It was _him._**

**She rushes to close the door but his foot stops her.**

**“You aren’t hiding from me are you?” Daisuke asks, pushing the door open and walking into the bathroom.**

**She gulps, shaking her head no.**

**“Your dad told me you were at home sick, so I thought I’d come check on you,” he says with a grin, reaching for her.**

**Rin takes a step back. “I---I can’t…I…I’m pregnant,” she blurts. “I don’t want to hurt our baby,” she looks up at him, smiling shyly.**

**“We can take rid of it,” replies quickly.**

**“No,” she moves back.**

**The smile vanishes from his face, “I wasn’t asking you. We will go to the company physician right now.” He grasps her wrist roughly, “What are you going to do with a kid when you’re still a kid? You actually think your dad will let you keep it?”**

**She tries to pull out from his grasp, “Please…”**

**His arms wrap around her neck. He slams her onto the cold floor. “We are getting rid of it.” His hand flies upward, crashing onto her face. Blood fills her mouth. Rin tries to scream but no sound comes out. “Stupid bitch.” He punches her again. His hand flies to his belt, undoing it. “Don’t you ever tell me no ever again.”**

**She closes her eyes and allows herself to go to that familiar, dark place. At some point, she passes out.**

**…**

**“I found her with a boy. He managed to run away though…”**

**She can hear the sound of Daiskue’s voice. Her head feels extremely heavy; her lower body is aflame. “I’m sorry, I just lost it Noru…I didn’t mean to hurt her.”**

**“It’s fine Daisuke…I’m just glad you came when you did…”**

**She tries to open her mouth, but no words come out again. She tries to move but finds that she is unable to do so. Head heavy, she passes out.**

**…**

**When she manages to open her eyes again, she is hit with a massive headache that is intensified by the whiteness of the entire room. She feels something smooth and cold against her bare back. The pain in the lower portion of her body is amplified. She manages to turn her head slightly to the right. Rin notices her father and Daisuke standing in the corner, talking to a doctor and a nurse with a needle in her hand. After a few moments, they walks toward her. The nurse has a sad look on her face. The doctor fiddles with some items on a table nearby.**

**“This is going to hurt a bit…” she says.**

**Tears streaming down her face, she begins to shake her head.**

**“Ssshh,” she says gently, sitting her up.**

**She continues to cry silent tears.**

**“Don’t move or you could be paralyzed,” the doctor mutters, standing beside the nurse. The needle buries itself in the skin of her back.**

**“P-please,” she manages to choke out. “I-I’m only 7 months…Please…It’s not time yet.”**

**He looks away from her. Rin feels her head getting heavy once more as the nurse lies her back down.**

**…**

**"Oh my God!" she yells, sitting up, as a jolt of lightening flows from her spine to her open legs. "Please, make it stop!" she weeps. The pain soars through her again, lingering at her private area.**

**"Mommy, please make it stop! I'm so sorry..." the pain intensifies. She can feel a hand moving in her.**

**That seems to relax her for a while until a final, sustained jolt; the worst so far, runs through her before concentrating on her lower extremities. Rin lets out a long, agonizing, scream. She feels the tension easing as something slides from in between her legs. The sound of crying feels the room. Overwhelmed, Rin bursts into tears of her own.**

**“A girl,” the nurse mutters, wrapping a towel around the screaming, squirming form.**

**Lightheaded, she reaches for the baby. "Let me see my baby," she mumbles, her tongue heavy in her mouth.**

**“Get rid of it,” Noru says sharply.**

**Rin watches as the nurse fills a needle with some substance and injects it into the baby’s arm. After a few moments, the crying stops completely.**

**A nurse, tears in her eyes, hurries away, bundle in hand.**

**A metallic taste fills Rin's mouth. "Where is she taking my baby?!"**

**Once more, everything goes dark.**

**…**

_She didn’t make it…_ _They killed her._ _I wasn’t even allowed to hold her. Afterwards, my father told me there was no way I would bring dishonor upon his family. I was called a whore… because as far as he knew, I had been sleeping around. I still didn’t tell him what really happened. The whole ordeal was hard on my body and mind…By then, my hair was totally white…I began to self-harm as a means of reminding myself that I was in fact, still alive, despite the darkness that had consumed me…I had barely recovered when, a month later, my father sent me to live in Tomonoura with a cousin of Mr. Sato’s._

_…_

**Rin stares at the small house. It was completely different from the home she had grown up in.**

**“You’re going to be living here with them,” her father says, not looking at her.**

**“Please…Can Ryuu…I promised mom,” she murmurs, her gaze still fixed on the home.**

**“No Rin. We’ve talked about this.”**

**“Please…Can Ryuu…I promised mom,” she continues to mumble, growing more and more frantic. Her fingers dig into her arm, drawing blood. She lifts her hand to her head, punching herself repeatedly while she mumbles. Terrified, Noru grasps her hand, pulling her against him. It had been years since her father had hugged her.**

**“Daddy…” she says in a small, chilling voice, “can we go see the stars later on tonight?”**

**“Rin… I’ll bring your brother here in a few weeks.”**

**…**

**“Eat up,” comes a soft feminine voice. Rin looks up at the woman as she places a bowl of rice in front of her. Rin shakes her head no.**

**“You have to,” comes a deep voice, “How will you be strong enough to look after your brother if you don’t eat your food?”**

**The man places a large plate of chicken yakitori on the table. The man and woman sit down across from her.**

**“Rin,” says the woman, a sad smile on her lips. “I know what you’ve been through isn’t easy…”**

**Rin begins to hum quietly, her eyes closed, as she rocks back and forth in her chair.**

**“But we’re here for you…Whenever you’re ready to talk about anything, we are here for you…We may not have as much as your father, but we’ll do our best to take care of you,” she smiles at the girl. “You look just like little Ryoko…” she reaches across the table and touches Rin’s hand.**

**Rin stops humming and stares up at her, confused.**

**“Your mother grew up in this town…We took her in after her parents died and raised her and our cousin Daisuke like they were our own children…Ryoko showed a great interest in becoming a ballerina from a young age, so I took her under my wings and she flourished quickly…Rin, we will love you like we loved your mother.”**

**“And we’ll make you some damn good food too,” the man adds.**

**For the first time in a while, Rin giggles. “T-Thank you Mr. and Mrs.….” She scrunches her nose up, confused.**

**They laugh, “I’m Akane, and my husband is Hayate.”**

**…**

_They took good care of me. Ryuu was brought to Tomonoura a few weeks later. Slowly, I began to come out of my shell. When Akane learned that I enjoyed dancing, she took me to what was once her old dance studio and taught me like she had taught my mother. Akane gave me a mother’s love…Hayate was the father I so desperately wanted my own dad to be. I had been living with them for about six months when Daisuke came to stay the weekend. Immediately, I went back into my shell. Hayate and Akane noticed my strange behavior, but Daisuke dismissed it as me just being shy. It was his last day there: Akane and Hayate had gone to the market to buy ingredients to make dinner; Ryuu was sleeping in our room. Daisuke took the opportunity to come to my room._

_…_

**“Take off your clothes,” he says brusquely, walking into the living room.**

**Rin stands up from where she had been sitting on the sofa.**

**“N---No,” she says weakly, walking backwards.**

**Daisuke laughs meanly. In a second, he closes the distance between them, his hands wrapping tightly around her neck, “You still haven’t learned about telling me no, have you…whore?” He pushes her down onto the floor roughly.**

**“No problem,” he begins to undo his belt, “Once I’m done with you, ‘no’ won’t be a part of your vocabulary anymore.”**

**Crouching over her, he roughly pulls her pants down.**

**“Please, I’m sorry…” she begins to cry.**

**“Shut up!” he screams, punching her in the face. “You shouldn’t ha---”**

**Her eyes widen. His body slumps over hers, blood sputtering from his lips; a gurgling sound coming from his throat.**

**She lets out a shrill scream, “Oh my God!!!” Rin struggles to push his body off of her. She can feel his blood begin to spill onto her.**

**“I knew something was going on.”**

**Tears clouding her vision, the girl looks up to see Hayate wielding a bloodied knife. He takes a step toward her and kicks Daisuke’s dying body off of her. Rage is all over his face as he raises his foot to stomp on his cousin’s head.**

**“Akane, come get her and clean her up. Then take her and the baby to the studio. I’ll meet you guys there in a few hours.”**

**“Oh my God,” she continues to scream as Akane rushes into the room. The older woman leans down beside her, picking up the bloodied, crying girl.**

**“It’s okay Rin…Everything is fine now….He won’t hurt you anymore.”**

**…**

_And they were right...Everything was fine after that. Hayate drove 50 miles and buried the body. When a farmer stumbled across the body in the fields, the cops came to Hayate with some questions. He played the part of the grieving cousin well and stated that he knew that Daisuke had been involved with some shady characters in the underground, so despite how hard it all was for him, he wasn’t surprised. And like that, the cops simply left it all alone. When news reached my dad as well as Daisuke’s family, Yoruichi’s mom killed herself. Daisuke had left behind a lot of debt; debt she could not afford to pay off. Father moved Yoruichi into our household, took him under his wing, and gave him the very best education money could buy._

_I had been in Tomonoura for a year and a half when my father and Yoru came to visit one day to announce my engagement to him. The news sickened me, but it didn’t take me long to figure out why: Yoru had inherited his dad’s share of the company when he died and his mother had killed herself. By engaging me to him, my father was making sure no part of the company left the family. I hesitantly agreed and we began to date when I turned 15. He was kind to me… He would visit me every week without fail._

_Two weeks before my 18 th birthday, father sent a letter saying I could come home with Ryuu. I cried when I realized I would have to leave Hayate and Akane, the people I considered parents. When my 18th birthday finally came around, Yoru and I snuck out from the lavish party that father had thrown to impress all his friends. He took me out to a brand new noodle store that had just opened, saying there was a surprise waiting for me. Expecting to just find some yakitori, you can imagine how overwhelmed I was when I saw who the owners of the restaurant were. Hayate and Akane had left everything behind to come to Tokyo so they could be near me. Yoruichi had been in contact with them for months before father said I could come home, planning on how to get them closer to me when I did leave. He had saved up the money he was making as an intern at the company to buy the store…All to keep me happy. Despite everything that had happened, I found myself falling for the son of the man who had raped me for years. _


	14. All Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So very sorry for the delay. I recently got a new job and have been super busy and tired. Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 14: All Mine**

**Gaara**

Stunned, Gaara stares at Rin. Silent tears are running down her face.

"I-I've never told anyone that…Not even Yoru," she smiles despite the tears. "I…Feel…Lighter…Free, almost."

He continues to stare at her, unsure as to what to say.

"I-I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…"

His arms instinctively wrap around her. The sudden urge to protect her overtakes him.

_Should I tell her?_

Gaara quickly dismisses the idea. She glances up at him but says nothing. The pair remains in their embrace for a long while before Rin finally opens her mouth. She inhales a small bit of air before slowly exhaling it.

"Gaara," she says in a small voice.

The redhead can only muster a weak, "hmm?"

"What I told you…Promise you won't tell anyone?"

He nods, still unable to speak.

"I haven't drank in a while…and I think I won't ever again…I want to be a good older sister to Ryuu and…" she pauses, unsure. "And a good girlfriend to you…"

He hugs her tighter.

"What I told you…It…It doesn't change anything between us, does it?" she asks, searching his face.

"No," he finally manages.

…

Slowly, Gaara slides into the bed next to Rin. The steady sound of her breathing reaches his ears, lulling him. He pauses, taking her in. Her white curls are scattered about her, framing her face like a halo.

_She's so beautiful…And she's all mine._

Smiling, Gaara gets under the sheets. He wraps his arms around her, pulling Rin's small frame against him. She stirs for a moment, her eyes briefly fluttering open before she falls back asleep, her cheek resting against his chest.

"All mine," he murmurs, placing a whisper of a kiss on her temple.

_She's been through so much…Much more than I could have probably endured…Yet, she had endured it and still found it in herself to make others happy…She's so...pure._

Eyes growing heavy, the redhead pulls her closer to him.

_And she's all mine._

...

**Rin**

She feels Gaara pull her tighter against him. Fear envelops her. She'd never told anyone that before. Why had she been so impulsive in telling him? Something about him just seemed so…disarming.

_I can trust him right? He said nothing has changed between us…_

Yet, for some reason, she can't help but feel as if something had in fact changed. She feels tears building up in her eyes.

_He'll probably want sex now that he knows I've been doing it since I was 7…I've had a kid…No guy wants a chick who's been used like I have._

She slowly pulls away from his sleeping form, wrapping her arms around her chest.

_But, part of me wants it…Because if I did it with him, I would know I consented to it…And maybe, I could enjoy it for once?_

She glances at him.

_He's so perfect…I want him…I want to be able to experience that with just him…_

Her finger lightly traces across his face. Gaara stirs for a split second before continuing to sleep. Rin lowers her hand from his face.

_But I don't think I'm ready yet…The last time we tried, all I could think about was_ _**him.** _ _And I want to believe that nothing is different but I'm sure there's something I'm missing. Why would he be so…calm and accepting of me after everything? I know it's not love…Don't think it's ever been love…More of a convenience thing I suppose…I help him feel to be able to create art…Nothing more. I honestly don't feel like he cares for me beyond what I allow him to accomplish…Heck, we haven't been on a date in ages._

She lets out a sustained sigh.

_Maybe, if I looked like Hinata or Mai…Or even Miyuki…and if I was still a virgin…Maybe then Gaara would actually love me beyond something he uses for inspiration._

…

**Gaara**

The sound reaches his ears before he is fully awake. Soft and sweet, the humming drifts around Gaara, surrounding him like a warm embrace.

His lips form a small smile.

"I must have died and gone to heaven," he murmurs, slowly opening his eyes.

He comes in direct contact with her grey eyes as they peek down at him on the bed.

"And you," he says softly, sitting up, "Are my angel." His finger traces the side of her face before pausing at her lips. They form a smile against his fingers. Still smiling, the redhead moves closer to her, placing a small kiss on her smiling lips.

She lets out a giggle that warms his entire body. "You're finally up…I don't think you've ever slept that much before," she says, the smile still brightening up her face.

"Today is a really big day…I needed all the sleep I could get." A mischievous smile suddenly appears on his face. Gaara quickly wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her down onto him.

"G—Gaara," she stammers, squiring on his lap as she struggles to get out of his grip.

He wraps his arms around her waist tightly, attempting to sit up. Rin presses both of her palms onto his chest, forcing him back down. His arms are still around her waist, keeping her on his lap. She leans forward, kissing the side of his neck. The redhead shudders at the sensation, a hand going to her hair. His eyes close slowly as she continues to kiss his neck. She pauses, causing him to open his eyes. Gaara feels her lips form a smile against his skin before she kisses the hollow behind his ear. Her teeth lightly graze against the lobe of his ear, drawing a sharp breath from him. Her lips move to his, landing softly against them. She places, one, two, three small kisses on his lips before pulling back and sitting up, much to his dismay. Still holding onto her waist, the redhead sits up.

"What's so big about today, aside from the fact that we're going to Osaka?" she asks, wrapping her arms around his neck, her head resting on his shoulder. His arms move up from her waist, embracing her tightly.

"Today is the day," he says softly, "That I can finally have you all to myself."

…

**Rin**

_I can finally have you all to myself._

The words replay over and over in her mind.

_What could he have meant by that? Does he finally want to?!_

Her body grows warm at the thought.

_I'm not sure I would even know what to do. But to see Gaara totally naked!_

She feels her body growing hotter.

_I can tell he has a nice body too…After that time in the hall on his birthday._

She screams internally.

_But would I be able to take him? He said those condoms were too small so I can only imagine…_

Rin glances at Gaara through the corners of her eyes. He and Haru are in deep conversation.

She feels a pair of arms wrap around her. Miyuki holds her tightly.

"Stay safe okay? If you need anything, let us know," she mutters, kissing Rin's temple.

Rin smiles weakly.

_Miyuki is alright._

"Your father and I had your stuff sent ahead to Osaka so they should be at the address Gaara gave us. We were going to tell you last night, but Ryuu was transferred to a smaller clinic only an hour and a half from where you guys will be. The doctors will contact you when it's okay to visit him. "

Her eyes lock with her father's. He gives her a small smile.

Rin turns her back to him.

"Make sure you guys make it to my wedding," Mai says, pulling Rin and Gaara into a warm embrace.

"We will," Rin says, jokingly trying to pull away.

She notices Mai slip Gaara a wrapped box.

"These should fit better," she says with a wink.

"Thanks," Gaara says, taking them both by surprise.

"Stop that Mai! We're not going to do anything!" Rin whines, embarrassed.

"That's not what he told me," chimes Haru with a small laugh.

Rin turns to Gaara, mouth agape from embarrassment.

Noru clears his throat.

"We're going to miss you," he says awkwardly.

Rin stares at him for a long while.

"All set?" she asks, turning to Gaara.

He shifts awkwardly on his feet.

"Onee-san!"

Minori and Minoru come running into the foyer.

Smiling, Rin picks them up and kisses them.

"Rinny's leaving?"

"Yeah Noru-chan, but I promise I'll be back for Ryuu's birthday."

Minori bursts into tears.

"Thank you for having me," Gaara says, shaking hands with Noru.

"The pleasure was all mine…Don't forget to show us your art sometime," he says with a toothy grin.

Rin quietly places her sobbing brothers down.

"I'll call you as soon as we get to Osaka," she says to Mai.

"Okay, love you!" Mai says placing a kiss on Rin's forehead.

Rin grasps Gaara's hand.

"Rin," Noru starts as they walk passed him.

Gaara pauses.

"We're going to be late," Rin says flatly.

He exhales.

"It's your dad," Gaara says quietly.

"Let's go," she replies, tugging on his hand. Hesitantly, Gaara begins to walk.

"Rin…" she hears her father's voice echo as they walk out the front door.

…

"So where are we going to be staying?" Rin asks, wrapping her fingers around his. She stares out the window as the plane begins to rise higher and higher.

"We're going to stay at my old family home," he says, lifting her hand to his mouth and kissing it tenderly.

"Promise you'll show me around Osaka…Like where you grew up…yeah?" she says shyly, glancing at him.

He smiles, "Yeah sure...My family is coming in a week so I can introduce you to everyone then," he says quietly.

She looks up at him and grins. "Bet your pops will be impressed as to how you scored such a hottie, eh?"

Gaara smiles sheepishly. "That's…one way of putting it."

"I'm just kidding," she says with a laugh. Her eyes light up, "That reminds me, are there any dance companies in town that I can audition for?"

"I'm not sure….I haven't been home in almost 8 years. We can look together in a few days."

She nods, still smiling.

Gaara reaches in his backpack, pulling out several envelopes. "In case we ever get separated on the streets or if I'm too busy with Haru and you get bored: I have the address of my old home in there, as well as the number and a few maps."

…

The pair silently get off the plane. Rin walks ahead and pulls out her phone to call her sister. Gaara hesitates before catching up and taking her hand. She looks up at him and smiles.

"It's busier than I was expecting," she says pleasantly, ending the call.

"Yeah, not as busy as Tokyo though," he replies. He suddenly stops walking.

"Huh?"

"I…I've been meaning to ask you something really important," he says, eyes glued to the floor.

"What is it?"

He exhales, "You know how your father mentioned getting married…" He looks away from her, his face beet red.

_Really?_

She opens her mouth but before she can speak, she is cut off.

"Oh my goodness, Gaara?!"

Rin's eyes widen as Gaara's hand is jerked out of hers. Confused, she stands there for a moment before turning around. Gaara looks shocked. Hugging him tightly is a tall, slender figure.

"I-"

The girl pulls back, her pale skin flushed.

"It's me…Hana….Don't tell me you've forgotten me already."

He blinks, "Hana?" he says, really surprised.

She seems to have remembered something.

"Forgive my rudeness," she says, turning to Rin, her hand outstretched.

"I'm Hana."

Rin stares at the girl: she's tall and slim with pale skin, long, straight dark hair, and big green eyes.

"Gaara and I go way back," she says, hoping to get Rin to acknowledge her, "he…" she blushes, "we were each other's first."

Rin feels her head spinning. She takes a moment to steady her voice before speaking, "That's something awfully personal to tell someone you don't even know," she says a bit sharper than she would have liked.

Hana blushes, "You're right…I'm sorry. I just haven't seen him in so long so I got carried away."

Rin glances at her one last time before turning on her heels and walking away, leaving her with her hand outstretched and Gaara standing with a lost look on his face.

…

Trying to catch her breath, Rin maneuvers her way through the crowded streets. The urge to cry overtakes her but she forces it down.

_What was the address Gaara gave me?_

Reaching in her backpack, she rummages through her things until she finds the envelope with all of the travel details.

From what she remembered, they would be staying at his old family home.

Rin feels a raindrop hit her face. She hurries to find a taxi before the rain gets worse.

…

Eyes closed, Rin allows the tears to fall freely, mixing with the rain.

She stands underneath the tree, staring at the house.

_He's the one with the key and he's taking his sweet time with his girl._

"Rin?" Gaara calls out, "We've been looking for you."

_We?_

She turns around and feels her heart sink.

Gaara and Hana are standing, under an umbrella, a few feet from her.

She turns away from them.

"Open the door already, I'm getting soaked," she says flatly.

Gaara hands Hana the umbrella and walks up to Rin.

"Hey, sorry I-"

"Gaara, I'm getting soaked," she cuts in.

"Right."

He reaches for her hand but she takes a step forward.

Sighing, Gaara walks to the front of the house and unlocks the door.

Rin dashes across the lawn and into the dark home.

The pair removes their shoes in silence.

Gaara turns to her, "Is something wrong?"

She shakes her head, "I need to shower."

"Okay, your room is this way," he says, leading her down the hall.

They stop at the very end. Gaara opens the door.

"Thanks," Rin mutters, walking into the room.

He opens his mouth to speak but Rin slams the door and locks it.

Rin quickly throws her bag down on the floor.

Sighing she collapses onto the bed.

_I need a drink._

Dread washes over her. It was the first time since their dinner with Hinata and Naruto that she had had the urge to drink.

_Hinata and Naruto…Haven't heard from them in a while, I hope they're doing okay._

She closes her eyes and feels herself drifting off.

…

"Gaara-kun!" the voice cuts through her sleep.

Rin sits up quickly.

_That voice…Sounds so familiar._

Hana. The pretty girl from the airport.

_Gaara never told me about any exes._

A bit mad, she stands up and walks over to the full sized mirror.

Rin slowly moves her clothing, piece by piece, until she only has on her underwear.

The memory of Gaara's lips on her skin sends shivers down her spine.

Rin hadn't thought it possible that she would be able to want someone as badly as she wanted Gaara.

"Gaara-kun!"

She clenches her fists.

The sound of Gaara's laughter surprises her.

_I need a drink._

…

"Rin?" she can hear his voice directly outside her door. "Hana made you dinner."

She says nothing, her eyes staring up at the ceiling.

A single tear, then another one, quietly run down her cheeks.

She closes her eyes. Outside, the rain beats down harder.

"Rin?" he calls out again.

She jumps to her feet and runs to the closet.

"Rin, are you up?" He tries the door handle but it's still locked.

Pulling on a pair of black leggings and boots, she quickly puts her hair in a messy bun and throws on a black sweater over her black tank top. She grabs her bag from the floor.

Rin walks to the window and opens it. The rain rushes in, along with a strong wind. She glances out.

_Thank goodness I'm on the first floor._

Closing her eyes, she swings her legs out of the window, leaping onto the grass.

Within a matter of seconds, her entire body is soaked.

_I need a drink._

She sprints across the lawn.

…

The rain had all but stopped as Rin walks across the lawn. Unfortuantely, she was still soaked from head to toe. She pauses at the front door and goes to open it when it opens. Hana has a surprised look on her face.

"Rin!" she says, as if they were good friends. "We've been looking for you, I made you dinner."

Rin stares blankly at her.

"Have you been out the entire time?"

She continues to stare.

"Well, I'm heading home now…." She drifts.

The sound of footsteps comes from behind her.

"Hana, is something wr-" Gaara's eyes widen.

"I was just on my way home when I saw her…I think she must have gone out earlier," she says, turning to Gaara.

He tries to make eye contact with her.

"Anyway," Hana starts, "I'll see you tomorrow Gaara," she says, hugging him tightly.

Gaara doesn't acknowledge her.

She lets go and turns to Rin, "You should try and get warm before you catch something."

She gently rubs Rin's forearm before dashing out of the house.

"Rin, where were you?" Gaara asks, reaching for her.

She wraps her arms around her chest, quietly walking into the home.

"At least say something," Gaara says as he watches her remove her shoes.

She stands up straight, her eyes meeting his.

Rin stares at him for a long while before turning on her heel and walking to her room.

Gaara walks behind her.

"Rin…" she slams the door in his face and locks it.

Sitting on the bed, she reaches into her bag and pulls out the bottle of vodka.

Opening it, she takes a giant swig. The clear liquid burns her throat.

_Stupid Gaara._

She takes another gulp.

_Taking me all the way out here and just pretending like I don't exist._

Lifting the bottle to her mouth, she chugs down three more mouthfuls.

_I should have never come._

She continues to drink, despite the burning sensation that fills her mouth. She feels her head begin to get heavier.

_He doesn't love me. He's more in love with his beautiful ex. Why wouldn't he be? She's tall, slim, dark haired, light eyes, pale…Japanese._

Closing her eyes, she downs the remainder of the bottle.

_She's everything I'm not. Why would he want me when he can have her?_

Tears begin to roll down her face.

_Why doesn't he love me?_

Crying she frantically searches her bed for her phone. When she finds it, she drunkenly fumbles with it until she can dial the number.

"Hello?" comes Yoruichi's confused voice.

"I want to go home," she says, gulping for air.

"Rin…What's wrong? Where are you?"

"Yoru, I'm not happy. Please come take me home," she says, still crying.

"Rin, I need you to calm down and tell me what's happening…Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"P—Please…I want to go home," she continues to slur, the tears still flowing from her eyes.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on or where you are Rin," he says in what's supposed to be a soothing voice.

Shutting her eyes tightly, she ends the call, dropping the phone on her bed, before pulling her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around herself.

_Why am I so hard to love? Why does no one care about me? It's because of everything…I know it is. To him, I'm probably just some whore and a baby killer…_

Her fingers dig into the skin on her forearm, drawing a bit of blood.

_Mom…What do I do? Mom?_

A sharp pain shoots through her head. Wincing, Rin clutches the side of her head.

_I need to talk to him about it._

…

Stumbling, Rin walks into the darkened hallway.

She grabs on to the wall for support and slowly makes her way to his room.

She turns the doorknob.

The room is dimly lit. She notices Gaara asleep in the corner, seated, a canvas in front of him.

His eyes slowly open.

"Rin," he murmurs, standing up. "What time is it?"

She walks toward him, stumbling a few times.

Eyes widening, he rushes to her side and steadies her against him.

"Are you okay?"

"Don't touch me," she slurs, trying to push him off. The scent of the vodka reaches his nostrils.

"Did you drink?" he asks quietly.

"Let me go!" she says, still struggling.

"No…Rin you're drunk."

"No I'm not…Why don't you like me?" she spits.

"You're drunk Rin," he says matter-of-factly.

"You've got some nerve Gaara!"

"Rin…"

"You drag me all the way out here and abandon me so you can get all nostalgic with your ex?!" she screams at him. "I-I need to go home. I'm not going to "

"Be quiet! What are you getting jealous over?!" Gaara screams, taking her by surprise.

Her eyes widen.

He lets out a sigh, "Rin…" he starts.

She bursts into tears and runs out of his room, stumbling on the way.

"Rin," he sighs, going after her.

…

**Gaara**

Gaara hears her door slam.

"Rin," he says, grabbing the handle.

It's locked.

"Rin, I'm sorry…"

Nothing.

Exhaling, Gaara sits down on the floor, his back against the door.

_Is that what all this was about? Hana? She wasn't even his ex. Someone he had sex with, yes, but an ex, no._

He stands up and knocks on the door.

"Rin, please open the door so we can talk. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

He buries his hand in his pocket and feels a key.

_I forgot I have this._

He stands up and unlocks the door.

"Rin?" The lights are on but she is nowhere to be found.

He hears the sound of running water coming from the bathroom.

Within a matter of seconds, Gaara is standing in the bathroom doorway.

Rin is leaning against the countertop, her head bowed over the sink.

The water continues to run.

Gaara slowly walks in and closes the faucet.

Rin doesn't look up at him.

"You said you would stop drinking," he says quietly, placing his hands over hers.

She roughly jerks away from him, stumbling.

Gaara wraps his arms around her, steadying her.

_She's shivering._

He picks her up. Rin wraps her arms around his neck and buries her face in his shirt.

_Rin._

Gaara walks back into her room and gently places her on the bed.

She continues to shiver.

"We should get you changed before you get sick," he mutters. He hesitates before pulling her leggings down her legs.

He sits her up and removes her sweater before pulling her top over her head. Shivering, she wraps her arms around her chest, lying back down.

Gaara walks to her closet and opens it.

_I need something warm._

He searches through the suitcases for a while before coming across a long sleeved shirt and a pair of sweats.

"This should do…"

His eyes widen.

"Gaara," she breathes, glancing up at him with her doe-like eyes.

Gaara feels her breasts against him. His breathing gets shallow. She takes his hand and places it on her thigh.

_So smooth._

He watches her reach behind her back to unclasp her baby blue bra.

"Rin," he manages through choke out, "Please don't…Y—you're drunk."

She pauses and frowns. "You don't want me?"

He gulps, "No, no….I do…A lot…But," he pulls back from her, "you're drunk. I can't do anything with you right now."

She looks down at the floor.

"Would you want me if I looked like her?" she whispers.

It takes a while for Gaara to figure out what she means.

"I don't want her," he starts.

She looks up at him, confused.

"I never did. It…" he pauses.

_She's going to hate me forever if I say this._

"It was just about sex with her. I-I never liked her as a perso-"

"Don't lie to me!" Rin yells, tears running down her face. "I saw the way you looked at her Gaara! I heard you _laughing_ with her! Don't sit here and lie to my face!"

"Rin," he reaches for her.

She takes a step back, "Go," she says. "Get out Gaara! Get out or so help me God I-"

"I'm not lying," he whispers, pulling her tightly against him.

Rin's eyes widen.

"Every girl I was with before you….It was all about sex. It's horrible, I know, but it's the truth Rin."

She tenses and nudges him off of her.

"I think you should go," she says quietly, wrapping her arms around her chest.

"You're drunk."

"I'm fine…I'll be fine," Rin murmurs. "Just…I need to be alone."

Glancing at her one last time, he quietly walks out of the room.

…

**Rin**

Head pounding, she manages to sit up in bed. Sunlight filters in through the windows.

_Need to get curtains._

She stares down at her hands, moving them slowly to confirm that she's still alive. Her entire body is stiff; her head is heavy. She must have fallen asleep at some point, but she can't quite remember when that was. Stretching, she lets out a small yawn before slipping out of bed. The first thing Rin notices is the fact that she has on the long sleeved shirt and sweats Gaara had wanted her to wear.

_I don't remember putting these on, I could have sworn I just got into bed and passed out._

Shrugging it off, she slowly makes her way to the bathroom. Sitting on the countertop is a small flower pot with an envelope beside it. She picks up the envelope and removes the tape that is holding it close. Inside is a note. Rin removes it.

"I'm sorry about everything. Whenever you feel like talking, I'm here. Gaara." She reads aloud.

Rin places the note down and stares at the pot. She gently runs her finger across the tiny succulent and can't help but smile. Clutching the note to her chest, pot in hand, she walks back into her room. Rin places them down on her nightstand before heading toward the door.

_Hopefully he's still in._

She walks down the hallway, thinking about the note.

_Maybe he does care._

Walking into the living room, she opens her mouth to speak but finds that no words come out when she notices Hana seated a few inches away from Gaara on the sofa. They seem to be deep in conversation. Heart dropping, Rin takes a step back, ready to leave the living room.

"Rin!" Hana says happily.

Rin freezes.

Gaara immediately looks in her direction. Hana stands up from the sofa, "I heard you weren't feeling well," she says, reaching out for Rin.

She takes a step back, wrapping her arms around her chest, "I'm fine," she says in a small voice.

Hana claps her hands together, "Nice! Gaara and I were just catching up…It's been almost a year since we last saw each other," she chatters.

"I should get going," Rin says.

"Stay a bit," Hana replies, grabbing onto her arms and leading her to the sofa. She plops Rin between her and Gaara. Rin immediately tenses up.

"So, how do you and Gaara know each other…Better yet, what are you doing in his house?" she asks, laughing lightly.

Rin opens her mouth.

"She's my girlfriend," Gaara says before she can say anything.

Hana makes a small noise, her face contorting. "Girl…friend?" she says, confused.

"Yeah, we've been dating for over 6 months now…She's staying with me while I study."

The slender girl gets on her feet, "Oh," she snorts, "I…Didn't know _she_ was your…type," she says in a voice that is supposed to sound nice but hides something much more malicious. "Well, I better get going," she says in a chipper voice, "See you some other time," she leans across Rin to place a kiss on Gaara's cheeks. Before she can do so, she feels Rin's hand wrap tightly around her arm, preventing her from moving.

"Don't," Rin says quietly.

Hana laughs nervously before shrugging out of Rin's grasp and walking out of the living room. A few moments later, they hear the sound of the front door close as she walks out. Neither one of them says anything for a while.

"Rin," Gaara starts.

She is immediately on her feet, "I need to go."

He grabs her hand, stopping her.

"I'm sorry," he says, entwining their fingers.

She pulls her hand from his, turning to face him.

"I shouldn't have left you like I did…I shouldn't have ignored you…I- I should have told you about Hana."

"Who is she?"

"Someone I had an ongoing sexual relationship with for five yeaars," he says plainly.

"Your ex-girlfriend?"

"No…She was never my girlfriend….I-I took her out on a few dates because she wasn't going to just sleep with me like that, but she was never my girlfriend. We came to an understanding about the kind of relationship we had…It was just about sex."

"Did you ever have feelings for her?"

"No it was just sex Rin."

She laughs, "Is that what this is too? Just sex Gaara?"

"We haven't had sex," he says.

"Are you just waiting for it to happen? Are you just investing time in me so you can get what you want Gaara?" she asks sadly.

He's on his feet, "What? Of course not…I really care about you Rin."

"If you want, you just have to ask…After all, I give it to anyone that just asks."

…

**Gaara**

The words cut through him like a sharp knife.

"Rin, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying it doesn't make sense for you to want to be with someone like me…Someone who's done what I've done…Someone who's been used so much…Damaged goods…when you could have her," she says, starting to cry.

He pulls her to him, "Don't say that again…It wasn't your fault Rin…I don't look at you any differently after what you told me."

"So then," she chokes out, "why do I feel like you don't care about me anymore Gaara? Why do I feel like we're growing apart?"

He sighs, "Rin," he hugs her tightly.

_I had no idea she felt like this._

Gaara places a kiss on the top of her head. "You mean everything to me…I don't say it much, and I guess I'm bad at showing it too," he runs his fingers through her tiny curls. "I haven't been there for you like I should have…But I promise…I don't look at you any differently. You're still the same girl I fell for. I don't care about what happened…Those things were beyond your control…You can't keep blaming yourself. I don't like you any less; I don't want you any less"

Her sobs die down slowly. Rin hesitates before wrapping her arms around his torso, burying her face in his shirt. The redhead picks her up, her eyes widening. Gaara gives her a toothy grin, "It's been a while since we went on a date hasn't it?" he asks, walking in the direction of the kitchen. "But first, I bet you're starving…"

For the first time since they'd gotten to his home, she giggles.

…

**Rin**

She watches as he fills both cups up with green tea. Rin glances up at him, and when his eyes lock with hers, she gives him a grin.

"You feeling better?" Gaara asks, sitting down next to her at the kitchen table.

She simply nods. He hesitates before placing his hand over hers.

"Rin, I'm sorry," he says, staring down at their hands.

"Sorry for what?" she asks slowly.

"Everything…For making you feel the way you feel….But you honestly have nothing to be insecure about…"

"How can I not be?" she asks, "Like…look at you and look at me…"

"What?"

"Gaara…I-"

"Please don't….Ever talk badly about yourself again," he says quietly before giving her hand a small squeeze.

"Hmm," she replies.

The ding of the oven draws their attention to it.

"Okay, food's ready," he says, getting up and walking to the oven. Taking a pair of mitts, he opens the door and pulls out a foil-covered casserole dish.

"I didn't know you can cook," she coos as he places the dish down on the table.

"I can't," he replies, walking to the cabinet where he pulls out one plate and a fork and knife before walking back to the table and placing them down in front of them

"Oh," Rin replies. "Well….This sure is a lot of…." She pokes the top of the foil.

"Frittata," he says.

"Frittata," she repeats, "You made, considering how you…don't…know…how, em…To cook," she says slowly.

"You haven't eaten since we left Tokyo, so I figured you might want a lot of food…"

She smiles, "You know…that's…very considerate of you, really, but ummmm…I'm not hungry…Like at all."

Her stomach growls.

"Nonsense." He slowly pulls the foil back.

Rin inhales sharply. Eggs, cheese, spinach and turkey blend seamlessly, filling the room, and her nostrils, with their decadent aroma, causing her stomach to growl once more.

"This looks really good…And it smells even better…I thought you couldn't cook?!"

"I can't. This is the only dish I know how to make. My uncle taught me."

"Do you miss him?"

Gaara tenses, "Yeah…every day."

She says nothing else as she watches him cut out a square piece and place it on the plate. Her stomach growls again. Gaara chuckles slightly. Pulling the foil back over the frittata, he sits down beside her.

"You're hungrier than I thought," he jokes, burying the fork in the frittata. He breaks of a small piece, and lifts the fork to her mouth. She hesitates before opening her mouth. The redhead gingerly feeds her the small bit of food. His eyes are glued to her face as she slowly chews on his dish.

"How it is?" he ask, trying to hide his eagerness.

Her head drops. "It…." She whispers, "Is the most delicious thing I've ever had!" Rin proclaims, tossing her head back joyfully. Relieved, Gaara takes another bit and is about to eat it when Rin places her mouth in the way, devouring the piece.

Humming happily, she chews on the stolen food.

"Glad you like it," he replies with a sigh, managing to get a small bit into his mouth before the sound of Rin saying, "Aaah," draws his attention. He glances at her through the corners of his eyes and smiles when he notices her mouth, wide open, her cheeks flushed with delight.

…

"This should be good," Gaara says, rubbing the back of his head. "I'll be in the bedroom," he says, heading toward the door. He pauses, "Take your time, the tub will keep the bath water warm."

She gives him a grateful smile. Closing the door, he walks into the room. Sighing, he collapses onto her bed.

_Hopefully the bath helps her a bit._

He jumps as her pillow begins to vibrate. Startled, he reaches underneath it, pulling out her phone. He hesitates before he swipes across the screen. It isn't locked. The phone vibrates again.

**_Hey you feeling better?_ **

The number isn't saved.

**_Rin? Do you want me to come get you?_ **

He feels his stomach sink.

**_I told you he wasn't any good Rin. Just call me…we can work through everything that's happened recently._ **

_What is he doing texting her?_

**_I love you._ **

Gaara feels anger boil within him. Without thinking, he dials the number. After two rings, Yoruichi picks up.

"Rin?" he asks eagerly.

"No. Don't text my girlfriend," Gaara says, trying to contain his anger. He hears Yoruichi scoff on the other end.

"Please. You really have some nerve. Typical of your kind… Coming in and reaching too high. She'll get bored of you soon enough. You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into. Do you actually think her father will allow her to be with someone like you? It would be different if you at least had some sort of interest in business like your brother, but you're more busy painting pictures like some kid. Noru is just letting you play around with his daughter to keep her happy. And I know Rin: She doesn't feel anything for you, she was just lonely so she ran to the first guy that was available. So do us both a favor and just give her back to me."

Gaara hangs up. Rage continues to boil within him.

_What a delusional loser._

Yet, for some odd reason, a part of him hangs on to what Yoruichi had just said to him. Clutching the phone, he lies back down on the bed, eyes closed.

_Why would he text her? Did she say anything to him before?_

He feels himself begin to doze off when the bathroom door opens. His eyes immediately snap open when he feels her place a soft kiss on the side of his neck, straddling him. He drops the phone on the bed. His green eyes come in contact with her grey eyes. Gaara notices the shy smile on her lips as she leans in and captures his lips. A heat begins to build in his stomach as her tongue enters his mouth. He runs his fingers through her damp curls, the feeling of her breasts against him through the towel she has wrapped around her driving him insane. Desire growing, he moves his hands down her body, running them over her smooth back. She inhales sharply, pushing him further.

Gaara breaks the kiss, moving his lips to her neck. His hands also move further down to her ass. Without hesitating, he palms it, pulling her closer to him.

"Shit Rin," he groans, his hands slowly lifting her towel and rubbing up her ass.

It's full and round; his hands are not big enough to hold on to all of it. She squirms, pushing her body further into his. Gaara captures her lips, kissing her deeply before moving down to the apex of her breasts. Her cleavage is full over the towel. Gaara kisses them softly before burying his face in between her cleavage.

"Rin," he moans, his erection tugging against his pants. He continues to cover her breasts in kisses.

Her breathing strained, she finally lets out a moan that sends his system into shock.

"G-Gaara," she breathes, her hands reaching down to stroke over his crotch.

He lets out a low groan. His lips move to hers, hungrily capturing them. Rin works at his button and zipper, slowly grasping his erection through the cotton of his boxer briefs. Her lips form a smile against his lips. Gaara breaks the kiss, his head falling back.

"Fuck Rin," he groans, his eyes closed.

"Nice and hard," she breathes sweetly, stroking over his underwear-clad cock.

"What do you want?" she teases, moving her lips inches from his, then pulling back before he can kiss her.

His hands tighten around her waist, pulling her against his penis.

"Rin," he says, his breathing strained, "My god," he mumbles, nuzzling her neck as she continues stroking him. "Like that….ahh," his teeth gently graze against her neck, causing her to squirm against his erection. "You…I want you Rin."

Giggling, she stands up, nudging him down onto his back. He reaches up for her towel, but she swats his hands away.

"You look really tired, you should nap…I might take a while to get dressed," she says with a playful smile, walking to the closet.

Gaara groans, covering his face with his hands, "Fuck, you're such a tease Rin," he murmurs, peeking through his fingers. He hears her giggle from within the closet. Gaara smiles, sitting up to fix his pants.

The redhead stands, heading to the closet. Her back is turned to him as she looks through the clothes he'd taken the time out to hang last night after he had dresses her while she slept. Gaara wraps his arms around her waist, placing a small kiss on her left shoulder. Rin turns to face him. He leans down and kisses her forehead. "I should go get ready too," he says with a smile.

...

"Fuck," he groans as the hot water hits his sore back.

_Really need to stop sleeping at the canvas._

Closing his eyes, his mind begins to wander. Hopefully he could make it up to Rin.

_Rin._

He feels himself growing hard at the thought of their interaction a few moments ago.

_If only she wasn't such a tease…_

His hand moves downward, grasping his hardened cock tightly.

_Her skin was so smooth…Her smile…Oh my god…_

He lets out a groan, pumping a bit faster. Closing his eyes, he allows himself to visualize every detail about her face. He had memorized exactly what she looked like down to every freckle on her face in the months since they had been dating. Yet, he still found himself enthralled, no, enamored by it each time he looked at her. She possessed such a wide range of emotions and his fascination with capturing them bordered on obsession.

_She's really awe inspiring._

Yet, she was also much more than that to him. Rin was _his._ Gaara had never claimed ownership over a person before but he desired so badly to make it known to everyone that Rin was his and his alone.

_Rin…She's so beautiful…And kind_.

He smiles.

_And funny. But she's also so insecure and unsure…Yet I love all that about her. I haven't been this happy ever and I certainly have not ever cared about anyone as much as I care about her…Not even Yashamaru. She's just so pure…And she's all mine._

He tightens, his breathing coming out in short bursts as he strokes faster and faster until his body finally slackens.

"Shit," he gasps, trying to catch his breath.

…

"Where are we going?" she asks as they walk down the empty road, hand in hand.

"It's a surprise," he says playfully, kissing her on the temple.

"I love surprises," she says, looking up at him, a smile lighting up her entire face.

"I love-" he stops, face growing red.

Rin begins to giggle, wrapping an arm around his midsection. "Same," she says simply, her dimples showing. "When is your family coming?"

"Next Friday. I'll formally introduce you to my brother and sister and my sister's fiancé. Everyone is really excited to meet you."

"Even your dad?"

Gaara chuckles, "No…Not him...He has it in his mind that I'm going to marry his friend's kid…But I'm sure he'll come around after meeting you."

"Gaara," she says shyly.

"Yeah?"

"I…I've missed this …Just being able to talk to you," she glances at him nervously.

"Yeah…I have too," he says. They stop in front of a small, simple home.

She looks at him, confused. "Gaara what are we…"

The door flies open. A chubby, elderly woman sticks her head out of the door.

"Gaara! Just in time…Come in!" she says cheerfully swinging the door open.

Gaara goes to walk in but he notices Rin's hesitation.

"It's fine," he says, smiling.

…

"It has been so long!" she coos, pulling the red head into a warm hug, kissing his cheeks.

Gaara laughs, "It has!"

Beaming, she pulls back to gaze at him. "My, you've grown so much!"

She notices Rin standing awkwardly near the doorway.

"Aah," she says arms outstretched as she walks toward Rin. She wraps her arms around the small girl's shoulder, leading her further into the living room. "You must be Rin!" she smiles at her. "Gaara has been telling me so much about you." The woman turns to Gaara, "She's much more beautiful than you told me!"

Gaara blushes, nodding, "Rin," he says, a large smile on his face, "This is my Chiyo-baasan…She helped give birth to me."


	15. Blank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been over a year. I’m sorry this took so long; I have been and still am dealing with some stuff. I hope you enjoy this chapter though. I intended on it being longer originally but will just have to compensate for the length in the next chapter. Also, I’m currently working on a new fic so my updates won’t be as consistent as most of my time will be spent on that project. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Please feel free to leave feedback!

**Chapter 15: Blank**

**Rin**

She stares blankly at the smiling woman.

“She’s a quiet one eh?” she asks, still smiling.

Gaara chuckles, “Not at all…I think she’s just nervous.” He extends his hand for Rin to take. She glances at it then at Chiyo and back at it before slowly placing her hand in his.

“So, Rin…” Chiyo starts slowly, “Tell me about yourself…Gaara has told me quite a bit but I want to get to know you personally.”

“I…” she shuts her mouth tightly, her gaze falling on the floor.

Chiyo frowns.

“She…We’ve had a rough few days getting adjusted,” Gaara cuts in smoothly.

The elderly woman claps her hand, “How about we have some dinner to help you unwind?”

Grateful, Rin smiles and nods.

…

“I know this isn’t as fancy as what you two are used to,” Chiyo mutters, scooping some miso soup into their bowls.

Gaara makes a clucking sound, “You know I love your cooking, baa-chan…I hardly eat when I’m home.”

“Thank you,” Rin says quietly, staring into her bowl.

The woman walks back into the kitchen and after a few minutes, returns and takes her place at the table.

“Rin, you haven’t touched your food…”she says quietly.

Her gaze in still fixed on the clear soup.

**_You are so beautiful._ ** His voice fills her head. **_So much like your mom._** She can feel the sensation of his hands, hot against her cool skin. **_I love you. That’s why I do this. It’s because I love you Rin._** He had told her that earnestly when she had asked him why he did what he did to her. She hadn’t told Gaara that part. Two weeks after her baby had been killed, she had gone to him, willingly. Something inside of her had died completely and she had been searching for some sort of meaning to her life. Unsure as to where to start, she had gone over to Daisuke Sato’s house late one night, seeking answers. Part of her was hoping that he would do what he usually did and give her another life to replace the one that had been so violently snatched away from her. For whatever reason, he did not. Instead he had been kind; tender almost, with her. He didn’t apologise for anything, but he did try and comfort her in his own strange way before sending her back home.

“Rin,” Gaara’s voice floats into her ears.

Her eyes widen; she is instantly on her feet when she feels his hands wrap around hers. Her breath is coming out in short, forced bursts. Rin looks up and notices Gaara and Chiyo staring back at her, mortified.

Struggling to catch her breath, Rin jerks her hand away from him.

“I’m sorry….I’m not feeling well,” she murmurs, tears beginning to form at the back of her eyes. “I think it would be best if I left,” she bows, fighting back the tears. “I’m sorry…I…” her voice suddenly stops working.

Gaara stands up, wrapping his arms around her, “I think she may have a cold…It would be best if I took her home…We can stop by when she’s feeling better,” he says gently.

“Nonsense, you all can sleep here…I have a spare room.”

…

“Rin, what’s wrong?”

That was the 7th time he had asked. Tears flowing down her cheeks, she continues to stare up at the ceiling, ignoring his question. Their fingers are tightly intertwined. Rin slowly moves his hand to her face, rubbing it against her tear soaked cheek.

“Rin…”

“I still feel like….something is missing Gaara,” she says softly.

“…What do you mean?”

She shakes her head.

Sighing, Gaara lies down beside her, drawing her to him.

“Azumi….” She says quietly.

Gaara stares into her sad grey eyes.

“I…I was going to name her Azumi…” Rin says softly, “Because she was the only safe residence I had in an otherwise chaotic world. When I first got pregnant, I was suicidal and angry all the time…But as she grew within me, I started to change…I wanted to I better, not only for her, but also for myself...” she exhales.

“When they took her away from me, it was as if though my entire world had been snatched from me and burned before my very eyes…For a long time I just walked around confused and hurt…. I thought I had overcome it but I haven’t…I’m still there…”

“Rin…”

“I don’t think this is a good idea Gaara…. Any of this: Me coming here with you…. Us being together,” she looks away from him.

“It would be best if I just went back home and if you stayed here….” She slowly gets up.

Gaara opens his mouth but says nothing. Instead he quietly watches her.

Rin walks to the door and grabs onto the handle. She stands there for a few minutes, her body beginning to shake.

“Rin….?”

Her knees buckle and she collapses onto the floor in a heap.

Gaara is immediately on his feet, rushing to her.

“Rin!”

 


End file.
